Topic concerning all teenagers

[User6773]

...then again, the girl still believes that we're "best friends" when I haven't called her in about 2 years, and am very curt on the occasions she calls me (including about 10 minutes ago). She is also currently married, and has been for over a year.

This is because sex really does create chemical reactions in your brain that bond you to the person you're sleeping with. This is far more profound for women than it is for men, though it is present in men too. They're unbreakable, really - this is one of the reasons why abused wives take so much crap from husbands who treat them like dirt, and still insist they love them.

[Tasselfoot]

this is one of the reasons why abused wives take so much crap from husbands who treat them like dirt, and still insist they love them.

I know you still love me chardish.

[User6773]

this is one of the reasons why abused wives take so much crap from husbands who treat them like dirt, and still insist they love them.

I know you still love me chardish.

[15:46] Chardish: i kind of tend to agree with you
[15:46] TasselFoot: i know
[15:47] TasselFoot: its because you're the bitch in the relationship.

[talisman]

chardish bandit was saying nothing about divorce at ALL... nor were you in the quote he quoted.

He's saying that a strong emotional bond does not lead necessarily to good sex... and this is true. Maybe, as you said they'll be more inclined to get better... but whatever.

[suicidalmuskrat]

You know if you're physically attracted to the other person. If your emotional bond is strong, you'll figure out how to have good sex together. This is especially true for people who are more concerned about emotional and spiritual togetherness than physical pleasure.

Like I said, you're living in a fantasy world. That does not hold true most of the time.

Can you please back this up? Because the statistics I've heard seem to support that people who stay abstinent before marriage have a lower divorce rate than those who don't.

I understand you might think it hypocritical of me to ask for you to cite statistics when I don't have any statistics I can cite right now. I'm just interested in where you're getting this from.

It seems obvious to me. I'd guess about 80% of people who wait until marriage are religious. I'm also guessing the divorce rates among secular people and relgious people are quite lopsided (with religious people getting divorced less)...those seem like reasonable enough statements, right? I know there are lots of people here who are secular, but still are holding off, which is great if that's what you want to do, but i think you're in the heavy minority. (EDIT: also, i'd be willing to venture that more relgious people are inclined to stay with someone despite a bad sex life, because they also tend to value marriage more)

And in response to:

You know if you're physically attracted to the other person. If your emotional bond is strong, you'll figure out how to have good sex together. This is especially true for people who are more concerned about emotional and spiritual togetherness than physical pleasure.

That's just foolishness. I don't care how in love you are, there are just fundamental differences in people when it comes to sex. I know girls who are just frigid, and don't really enjoy it much. yeah, they make out/get fingered/are eaten out, but sex just doesn't appeal to them. Yes, they're probably in the minority as well, but they're out there. As for me, I'm an extremely kinky and active (maybe even strange) lover, and my girlfriend (the only girl i've slept with, been together for over 18 months) is just as wild, if not more. And to be honest, I would be extremely disappointed if I had ended up with someone who wasn't. And ya know what, I think there's enough compromise in marriages where I shouldn't have to compromise what I enjoy in bed.

so Privateer, if you tell me that what I said in response to your post was wrong, it isn't. It's a proven fact that people have gotten pregnant from doing exactly what I said could happen.

It's also a proven fact that people have spontaneously combusted (enter any other phenomenon), it doesn't mean it's something to worry about.

This relationship without sex is seriously the best I've ever had, because I know that Guido's not just saying, "I love you," to get into my pants. He's not going to get emotionally abusive if I say I don't want to have sex. He's not going to dump me and then come crawling back every time he needs some ass, telling me he still loves me, only to break my heart again a few minutes later. He's just going to sleep beside me on the weekends we get to see each other, and he's just going to hold me and make me feel safe.

You're acting like there's not a happy medium, which seems close to ignorance.

[stretchypanda]

This relationship without sex is seriously the best I've ever had, because I know that Guido's not just saying, "I love you," to get into my pants. He's not going to get emotionally abusive if I say I don't want to have sex. He's not going to dump me and then come crawling back every time he needs some ass, telling me he still loves me, only to break my heart again a few minutes later. He's just going to sleep beside me on the weekends we get to see each other, and he's just going to hold me and make me feel safe.

You're acting like there's not a happy medium, which seems close to ignorance.

In my experience there hasn't been. That's the thing. Although I'd say this is the "happy medium." I guess... I'm not sure what the middle is here.

[suicidalmuskrat]

http://www.sexualhealth.com/question.php?Action=read&question_id=2791&channel=1&topic=20

Also, if sperm is wet, it can live for a while, or inside the women's body it can survivie up to 7 days. but if it has dried, been on clothes, wiped, etc...it's dead

[suicidalmuskrat]

well, then you've never dated me! I love my girlfriend, we intend to get married. But we are having sex, and we're learning to deal with things now, rather than when we're married, such as: what if i'm extremely horny and she's not in the mood, or vice versa? it may sound like a dumb question, but it can become a serious problem, and we've dealt with it. I'm not bugging her to give it up all the time (in fact she bugs me more than I bug her).

EDIT: and by saying there's no happy medium aren't you saying that if you and Guido started sleeping together he'd turn into a giant asshole? I have more faith in him than that. And I'm sure you do too...so there's your happy medium.

[ToshX]

Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

being teenagers with hormones that we are, began touching each other and one thing led to another.

You should have shot yourself right then and yelled "I'M NOT DYING OF AIDS, BEYACH."

But honestly, be more careful next time, if she gets pregnant, you don't have anyone else to blame.

[stretchypanda]

You've definitely misunderstood me.

I never actually SAID that I don't think there is a happy medium. Please notice that I called my current relationship a happy medium, and that I wonder what the middle ground here is. I'm sure there are plenty of fantastic guys with whom I could have a healthy sexual relationship, not that I care to find any of these guys. It doesn't matter -- I've made the decision to wait until I am married. In my last relationship, my boyfriend could not respect those wishes. In this one, my boyfriend not only respects my wishes but shares them. Who cares if that is not a "happy medium," I've found what makes ME happy.

[suicidalmuskrat]

well then that's all that matters, isn't it? I re-read what you said, and it makes sense now. But what you have isn't really a happy 'medium', b/c the two extremes were you asshole boyfriends who only cared about getting some, and the other extreme would be a guy who is completely awesome but there is no sex. So you're happy, but it isn't exactly a 'medium' in the sense we were talking. But anyways, that's a side-point, since you're happy.

[User6773]

Read carefully. These are not my words, but there is much truth in them.
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It must be taken into account that it is naturally difficult for the woman to adapt herself to the man in the sexual relationship, that there is a natural unevenness of physical and psychological rhythms, so that there is a need for harmonization, which is impossible without good will, especially on the part of the man, who must carefully observe the reactions of the woman.

If a woman does not obtain natural gratification from the sexual act there is a danger that her experience of it will be qualitatively inferior, will not involve her fully as a person. This sort of experience makes nervous reactions only too likely, and may for instance cause secondary sexual frigidity.

Frigidity is sometimes the result of an inhibition on the part of the woman herself, or of a lack of involvement which may even at times be her own fault. But it is usually the result of egoism in the man, who, failing to recognize the subjective desires of the woman in intercourse, and the objective laws of the sexual process taking place in her, seeks merely his own satisfaction...

...for it must be emphasized that physical disgust does not exist in marriage as a primary phenomenon, but is as a rule a secondary reaction: in women it is the response to egoism and brutality, in men to frigidity and indifference.

...There is a real need for sexual education...the main objective of this education is to create the conviction that 'the other person is more important than I'. Such conviction will not arise suddenly and from nothing, merely on the basis of physical intercourse. It can only be, must be, the result of an integral education in love. Sexual intercourse itself does not teach love, but love, if it is a genuine virtue, will show itself to be so in sexual realtions between married people as elsewhere.
-Pope John Paul II
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[suicidalmuskrat]

isn't that what catholics want to hear? that if they get educated and love there partner there's no way the other partner won't feel satisfied? We're kinky. Some girls wouldn't even think of some of the things we do. I couldn't tolerate being with someone who wasn't open to doing them. So maybe the solution is to talk frankly about the matters of sex, and what you feel you want to do before getting married? Of course you can't truly know what you want until you have indeed experienced it. I'm just saying that certain people draw lines in the bedroom, and certain people only find real satisfaction in crossing said lines (with someone they love, mind you...didn't want anyone saying "if you have to do such crazy things then you aren't truly in love etc...", because we are. We also make sweet sweet love, which is emotionally more satisfying, but not physically.)

[stretchypanda]

...Knowing what to do and what your partner desires is something EVERYONE should know, not just "What Catholics want to hear."

[suicidalmuskrat]

duh. But the idea that with no former knowledge of each other's sexual personalities, every married couple can have a fulfilling sex life is something every catholic wants to hear.

EDIT: I'm leaving for Chicago now (to watch my g/f play softball), so I most likely won't be responding until Sunday. Although I maybe be around a computer for long enough on saturday morning...we'll see