Topic concerning all teenagers

[Anticrombie0909]

I have never heard a single couple that was abstinent before marriage that said that they regretted staying abstinent, or that they wish they had sex before their wedding day. The response pretty much unanimously seems to be that it was worth the wait, and felt all the more special and momentous because they had waited.

Uh

How many people have you talked to? Sex can very, very easily kill relationships (not just marriages, relationships in general) if the couple isn't ready or it becomes awkward afterwards. A couple in particular I'm thinking of went out for close to two years, but were both very prude and took it really really slow. Eventually they went all the way, but didn't know how to handle themselves afterward and broke up about a week later.

And despite what you may have read in fairy tales, Virgins can not fuck. It doesn't happen. Your first time WILL be painfully awkward- this is a given. Seriously, ask anybody about their first time. I've talked to dozens of people, and I've never heard anybody say their first time was anything more than "not terrible".

[rydenHS]

Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

Maybe this has been discussed before, but it seems to be important at this point of time in my life. Any immature pricks who want to make sexual jokes or references, I will hate you forever. Obviously if you weren't mature enough to handle this topic, you never will be for your life. This is definitely a serious topic and I will not tolerate any stupid comments. Anyhoo....

So I have a girlfriend. We love each other very much, and we're planning long-term goals, like staying together through college and hopefully live together. Last week during spring break, being teenagers with hormones that we are, began touching each other and one thing led to another. We didn't have sex, but it definitely wasn't just feeling and groping. During some part of it, something happened and now we're paranoid and afraid of what could happen to us and our lives. She's buying a pregnancy test tommorow just to settle our ease and confirm it was just us overreacting. The chances of her becoming pregnant are so slim, but we still want to make sure. If it's positive, I will accept the consequences of my actions and support the child, because she doesn't believe in abortion at all. So this all brings me to the point:

You may think protection might help or some birth control will let you have as much sex as you want, but condoms don't work, abstinence does. All of you obviously have hormones and puberty still in progress for much of you, so don't screw your life up. I may sound like those crazed parents that want their kids never to experience life like this, but a lot of you are just kids. You have years to mature both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Wait until you have matured enough to understand the importance and significance of your actions to the fullest extent. This is more than likely old news for some of you, but for others: please take this into thought. I'd say wait until college to try anything, but could be longer for some of you. You have your life ahead of you, don't $*%# it up by doing something influenced only by the power of hormones. It may feel great for the few moments that it happens, but screw it up and your life is almost certainly done for.

I've understood the consequences of what could happen, and do everything I can to keep it safe, and I still learn something from it. I'm a virgin and I intend to stay that way until either I'm married, or I'm certain the girl I'm making love with is the right one for me. I hope all of you will do just the same.

I hope I didn't bore you too much with my rant; just wanted to point something out.

You do relize that if something happened like that. That your gf or what ever can take a pill if its before the first 5 days and it will just kill the egg? Lol.

[suicidalmuskrat]

Teach these cats a lesson and have sex with her while you're gone.


...I'm jus' sayin'.

done

[zildjian133]

RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

The Morning After Pill Shox......

Anyways the only reason I think why non-abstinent people regret losing their virginities is because that is societies view and they're not actually judging anything for themselves they're just taking the general opinion from society... Same thing with losing your virginity on the day of your marriage, how would you know that it's more special? You've never even had sex before... It doesn't make much since...

[Tasselfoot]

RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

Again, see my story for the fun times of first times.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

Anyways the only reason I think why non-abstinent people regret losing their virginities is because that is societies view and they're not actually judging anything for themselves they're just taking the general opinion from society... Same thing with losing your virginity on the day of your marriage, how would you know that it's more special? You've never even had sex before... It doesn't make much since...

Actually, zild, every argument I've ever provided and supported for abstinence until marriage has come from first-hand experience. Once I started to accept what I had done I began to regret it and regret it hard. And those who remain abstinent until marriage know it's more special because of the emotions involved, not because of the physical feeling. When you know you've waited your entire life to give your entire self up for this one person and swore to everyone that you will be with this one person forever, it's a bit more emotional than, say, losing your virginity in an arcade bathroom.

bandit, I honestly think you're overemphasizing the importance of the physical in a relationship and/or the ease of resolving any problems there might be. If a couple can't discuss issues with sex and try to make it better then there's a big problem with the marriage right there.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[zildjian133]

Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

The Morning After Pill Shox......

AKA: Abortion-in-a-box, but that's a different topic.

Anyways the only reason I think why non-abstinent people regret losing their virginities is because that is societies view and they're not actually judging anything for themselves they're just taking the general opinion from society... Same thing with losing your virginity on the day of your marriage, how would you know that it's more special? You've never even had sex before... It doesn't make much since...

Actually, zild, every argument I've ever provided and supported for abstinence until marriage has come from first-hand experience. Once I started to accept what I had done I began to regret it and regret it hard. And those who remain abstinent until marriage know it's more special because of the emotions involved, not because of the physical feeling. When you know you've waited your entire life to give your entire self up for this one person and swore to everyone that you will be with this one person forever, it's a bit more emotional than, say, losing your virginity in an arcade bathroom.

bandit, I honestly think you're overemphasizing the importance of the physical in a relationship and/or the ease of resolving any problems there might be. If a couple can't discuss issues with sex and try to make it better then there's a big problem with the marriage right there.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

True it might be more special for the person to wait and I'd rather marry a girl that waited rather than marrying a slut. I doubt I'll ever care that I lost my virginity... If I do I'll come back to this topic and say you're right... It depends on the person, theres tons of people that have sex all their life marry the person they love and not regret having sex before marriage all those times. So you just can't say "You're going to regret it one day." because not everyone does...

[User6773]

Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

So you just can't say "You're going to regret it one day." because not everyone does...

I don't say that. I say I've met people who regret losing their virginity - I've also met people who haven't. But I've never met a single person who's regretted

I don't think I'm underemphasizing the importance of sex, what I'm saying is that people with a strong emotional bond - people who are able to know what each other want without being told - people who empathize with each other, and truly and honestly care about what the other person wants more than they care about what they want - figure out a way to work these things out.

Maybe you're right, Banditcom, and I don't know anything about sex - but I can't fathom the idea that two people can be so harmoniously [i]perfect/i] for each other and not enjoy sex, not with any amount of work.

A couple in particular I'm thinking of went out for close to two years, but were both very prude and took it really really slow. Eventually they went all the way, but didn't know how to handle themselves afterward and broke up about a week later.

Sex often kills relationships because to many people, it doesn't become evident what you've given the other person of yourself until after it's already happened. This can make one or both parties feel cheap, or even used, and can place too much stress on the relationship - sometimes fatally so. It's essentially the same effect as trying to drive over a bridge before construction has finished.

And despite what you may have read in fairy tales, Virgins can not $*%#. It doesn't happen. Your first time WILL be painfully awkward- this is a given. Seriously, ask anybody about their first time. I've talked to dozens of people, and I've never heard anybody say their first time was anything more than "not terrible".

Most people accept this, and it's not a reason to not wait until marriage. I'd rather be awkward and clumsy with the love of my life, who would be willing to accept said inadequacies and work together to get over them, than some throwaway girlfriend to be used simply as practice and might end up emotionally scarred from the experience. And if you're committed to monogamy, what's the harm in waiting? You've got your whole life to get better at it.

[suicidalmuskrat]

RE: Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

the tragic/ironic humor side in me can't help but laughing at the idea of you guys becoming impotent before you get married.

[stretchypanda]

RE: Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

I don't regret losing my virginity to the person to whom I lost it, but I do regret losing it so early. At first I didn't care and I was really happy, but then this really slutty girl at my school found out and told everyone, then told me she was proud of me, and she's someone I really never wanted to make proud. That's when I started distancing myself from the guy and everyone who reminded me of him, and it damn near ruined our relationship.

We're okay now, though. All is well.

[jazzmosis]

RE: Re: RE: Re: Topic concerning all teenagers

Wow, I feel like I'm in the minority. I've had sex with multiple partners... and although it's not important in my life, it is fun. All these people that say they aren't interested in sex are just saying that because they haven't had it yet. When the opportunity arises, it's damn near irresistable.

Just as long as both people are consenting, and using protection. I'm in no mood to impregnate anyone.

The most important thing before having sex is to have an emotional relationship. Random sex = bad. Meaninful sex = fine.

Personally, I could live without sex if I had to, and I don't ever pressure for it. I'd rather have meaningful, fulfilling friendships and relationships over anything else.

[suicidalmuskrat]

Read carefully. These are not my words, but there is much truth in them.
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It must be taken into account that it is naturally difficult for the woman to adapt herself to the man in the sexual relationship, that there is a natural unevenness of physical and psychological rhythms, so that there is a need for harmonization, which is impossible without good will, especially on the part of the man, who must carefully observe the reactions of the woman.

If a woman does not obtain natural gratification from the sexual act there is a danger that her experience of it will be qualitatively inferior, will not involve her fully as a person. This sort of experience makes nervous reactions only too likely, and may for instance cause secondary sexual frigidity.

Frigidity is sometimes the result of an inhibition on the part of the woman herself, or of a lack of involvement which may even at times be her own fault. But it is usually the result of egoism in the man, who, failing to recognize the subjective desires of the woman in intercourse, and the objective laws of the sexual process taking place in her, seeks merely his own satisfaction...

...for it must be emphasized that physical disgust does not exist in marriage as a primary phenomenon, but is as a rule a secondary reaction: in women it is the response to egoism and brutality, in men to frigidity and indifference.

...There is a real need for sexual education...the main objective of this education is to create the conviction that 'the other person is more important than I'. Such conviction will not arise suddenly and from nothing, merely on the basis of physical intercourse. It can only be, must be, the result of an integral education in love. Sexual intercourse itself does not teach love, but love, if it is a genuine virtue, will show itself to be so in sexual realtions between married people as elsewhere.
-Pope John Paul II
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When I read this, something struck me as strange, but I wasn't able to put my finger on it until now. If I'm not mistaken, the Pope has to be unmarried, and celibate (sic). So why are you quoting him on this subject? It seems like being educated on sex by someone who has never had it is comparable to getting driving lessons from someone who's never been in a car.

[Yanah_God]

I am not reading 7 pages of illiterate, over-aroused teens posting shit about shit that nobody gives a shit about. I stopped reading the first post at "we love each other very much". I doubt it. I doubt it very much. Nearly everyone I know that has a girlfriend/boyfriend/inflatable woman is going out with them because they "love them" and yet they have all pretty much dated each other. Now, either I live in the sluttiest little town in the country or it's like that all over. What they are feeling is lust. Lust is bad. Lust makes you do bad things, like get rid of friend to keep going out with them (only to break up a week later) or... well. I just totally lost my rant-jive. I'm not that good at it anyway. Sorry for embarrassing myself.

Let's just say I'm against teen dating.

[GuidoHunter]

When I read this, something struck me as strange, but I wasn't able to put my finger on it until now. If I'm not mistaken, the Pope has to be unmarried, and celibate (sic). So why are you quoting him on this subject? It seems like being educated on sex by someone who has never had it is comparable to getting driving lessons from someone who's never been in a car.

First, you spelled celibate right. Second, priests only have to be celibate after they take the sacrament of Holy Orders (i.e. become a priest). He probably was unmarried and celibate, but that doesn't mean he's incapable of speaking on the emotional and spiritual part of it.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Privateer]

Let's take my relationship as an example: it's spectacular. Even if you were to remove sex, it would be as good as it could be. So, why wouldn't I add something that could make it even better? We know that we aren't using eachother, and there is a ton of emotion. Even when/if our love is bound to us in more than words (marriage), the sex will mean just as much. The sex we have adds to the unmeasurable love I have for her. That doesn't mean I'm shallow, but it's a tool that connects us.

As for you, Chardish--I know one of the reasons you want to hold off on sex is because you want to make sure you don't fall in love with someone for the sex or vice versa. If you had sex in a relationship, you would be able to decide whether you did or not. I honestly don't think you have valid input anyway because you've never even consciously had an orgasm.

Plus, it would make a huge difference to me if the person I marry ends up being poorly sexually able. It matters just as appearance does; There is a standard that has to be met.