Topic concerning all teenagers

[QreepyBORIS]

Teach these cats a lesson and have sex with her while you're gone.


...I'm jus' sayin'.

[banditcom]

You know if you're physically attracted to the other person. If your emotional bond is strong, you'll figure out how to have good sex together. This is especially true for people who are more concerned about emotional and spiritual togetherness than physical pleasure.

Like I said, you're living in a fantasy world. That does not hold true most of the time.

Can you please back this up? Because the statistics I've heard seem to support that people who stay abstinent before marriage have a lower divorce rate than those who don't.

I understand you might think it hypocritical of me to ask for you to cite statistics when I don't have any statistics I can cite right now. I'm just interested in where you're getting this from.

I think Muskrat summed it up nicely with this: It seems obvious to me. I'd guess about 80% of people who wait until marriage are religious. I'm also guessing the divorce rates among secular people and relgious people are quite lopsided (with religious people getting divorced less)...those seem like reasonable enough statements, right? I know there are lots of people here who are secular, but still are holding off, which is great if that's what you want to do, but i think you're in the heavy minority. (EDIT: also, i'd be willing to venture that more relgious people are inclined to stay with someone despite a bad sex life, because they also tend to value marriage more). I'd take out the "tend to value marriage more", just they tend to value it differently.

I love my girlfriend, we intend to get married. But we are having sex, and we're learning to deal with things now, rather than when we're married, such as: what if i'm extremely horny and she's not in the mood, or vice versa? it may sound like a dumb question, but it can become a serious problem, and we've dealt with it. I'm not bugging her to give it up all the time (in fact she bugs me more than I bug her).

EXACTLY! You find out a lot about each other. A person has to know and trust the other person they're going to marry. That includes every aspect about them. If you don't, you might not be compatible physically. No sex before marriage is just as bad as if you went into a marriage because you had a great sexual connection and didn't know yet about the emotional.

[User6773]

EXACTLY! You find out a lot about each other. A person has to know and trust the other person they're going to marry. That includes every aspect about them. If you don't, you might not be compatible physically. No sex before marriage is just as bad as if you went into a marriage because you had a great sexual connection and didn't know yet about the emotional.

You should probably be talking frankly about sex before you get engaged. If it's an awkward topic for whatever reason, talk it out with each other until you're both comfortable with the idea and ready for it. This sort of comfortability will most certainly make it easier - not only to have sex, but to continue to talk about it. Ability to communicate is the most important thing in a relationship - and this applies even to the realm of the physical. Whoever said you can't talk about sex before you get married?

[sammie013]

thank god for guys like you, my boyfriend is the same way, i am so happy for that. there need to be way more guys like you out there.

[Cenright]

Yeah, there are so few of us...

[banditcom]

EXACTLY! You find out a lot about each other. A person has to know and trust the other person they're going to marry. That includes every aspect about them. If you don't, you might not be compatible physically. No sex before marriage is just as bad as if you went into a marriage because you had a great sexual connection and didn't know yet about the emotional.

You should probably be talking frankly about sex before you get engaged. If it's an awkward topic for whatever reason, talk it out with each other until you're both comfortable with the idea and ready for it. This sort of comfortability will most certainly make it easier - not only to have sex, but to continue to talk about it. Ability to communicate is the most important thing in a relationship - and this applies even to the realm of the physical. Whoever said you can't talk about sex before you get married?

More naivety.... Talking is not doing. Stop believing these fantasies. They are two completely different things.

[User6773]

More naivety.... Talking is not doing. Stop believing these fantasies. They are two completely different things.

This isn't a very strong argument.

Don't you discuss what you want to eat for dinner before you eat dinner? What's the point of discussing what you expect from the other person in a sexual relationship, after you've already started one?

Unless you're saying that discussion is unnecessary in a healthy relationship, which sounds from an objective ear to be quite naive.

Either that, or you're saying that it's possible for a sexual relationship to be doomed from the start, and no amount of discussion, practice, development, experience, etc. can save it. This, to me, seems to be the result of an extraordinary overvaluing of sex in a relationship, and an extremely unlikely scenario if two people are very much in tune with each other's emotions (in otherwords, they already have a strong foundation of love.)

Read what I quoted above, earlier in this page.

[nforcer06164]

Yeah, there are so few of us...

It is kinda sad, isn't it?

What really upsets me today is that teens engaging in sex in my school is that they treat it as a sport. One kid has sex with a girl, gets tired of her, and passes her off to another guy for "seconds". It's disgusting. Another guy in my school got into a relationship with a girl, and I've seen her and heard the way he talks about her; it was obviously just for sex. It's awful.

It's not just limited to them, though. It makes me wonder if my ideas are really wrong, and if it's not worth it to wait. This topic, however, has fortified my belief in waiting until marriage. I'm lucky that all the girls I've dated thus far weren't looking for sex in a relationship. I guess it's weird to most guys in my area that I'm not trying for it as well. High school virgins are about 50-50 or worse in my area. It makes me wonder what our world has come in respect to morality and respect. Plus, if you have to use contraception to prevent a pregnancy you don't want, when the main purpose is such, isn't there something wrong there? I'm not saying that's all it's for, but it's really something for people my age to think about.

Anyway, I'd like to thank djshox, chardish, and cenright for showing me I'm not the only guy out there that thinks the way I do ^_^

[msbrunnettemickey]

Love the inside of the person, more that counts.
But also love the outside of the person, to show them how much you love them.

[Varia]

Hey if you're a girl I'll give your insides plenty of loving.

And whatever, you can love my outsides.

[Privateer]

All I want to say is that I feel bad for people that are waiting because they'll be majorly disappointed, especially Chardish. Refraining from all sexual activity down to masturbation will not make your first experience that much better. I honestly think it'll even be uncomfortable, if not painful.

And banditcom is so right in saying that doing means so much more than talking about it. People should also know all aspects of your mate before marriage. Regular sex before marriage won't make sex on the wedding night NOT special.

There's so much more to your answer, Jurs. Friends, parents, community are only a small part of it. I know that my decisions about sex didn't come from any outside influence, just from logic.

I typed this in haste so there may be weird sentences or spelling errors.

[User6773]

All I want to say is that I feel bad for people that are waiting because they'll be majorly disappointed, especially Chardish. Refraining from all sexual activity down to masturbation will not make your first experience that much better. I honestly think it'll even be uncomfortable, if not painful.

I have never heard a single couple that was abstinent before marriage that said that they regretted staying abstinent, or that they wish they had sex before their wedding day. The response pretty much unanimously seems to be that it was worth the wait, and felt all the more special and momentous because they had waited.

I have, however, heard numerous people who lost their virginity before marriage and later regretted it.

[Privateer]

They wouldn't feel regret, but they will have lost a lot of pleasure for something that I believe does not compensate for it.

But that's your choice to make, and I can't sway you.

[iPatcH]

I'm Straight Edge

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[banditcom]

More naivety.... Talking is not doing. Stop believing these fantasies. They are two completely different things.

This isn't a very strong argument.

Don't you discuss what you want to eat for dinner before you eat dinner? What's the point of discussing what you expect from the other person in a sexual relationship, after you've already started one?

Red Herring

Unless you're saying that discussion is unnecessary in a healthy relationship, which sounds from an objective ear to be quite naive.

Not at all. Communication is very important, but that includes all forms of communication.

Either that, or you're saying that it's possible for a sexual relationship to be doomed from the start, and no amount of discussion, practice, development, experience, etc. can save it. This, to me, seems to be the result of an extraordinary overvaluing of sex in a relationship, and an extremely unlikely scenario if two people are very much in tune with each other's emotions (in otherwords, they already have a strong foundation of love.)

Just like how it's possible for an emotional relationship to be doomed from the start....

You're treating the physical aspect of a relationship as if it's not important at all. It's VERY important, especially for marriage.

I have never heard a single couple that was abstinent before marriage that said that they regretted staying abstinent, or that they wish they had sex before their wedding day. The response pretty much unanimously seems to be that it was worth the wait, and felt all the more special and momentous because they had waited.

I have, however, heard numerous people who lost their virginity before marriage and later regretted it.

Because the people who did wait wanted to prove a point in some way and so they'll believe they're right in choosing that path. However the people who might regret it are ones who are deeply in love with their spouse that they might have wanted to just be with them.


You honestly know nothing about sex Chardish. You've never experienced or talked about this sort of stuff. I'm not experienced with another person, but I know a lot more than many experienced people. I have experimented with myself quite extensively, and I also constantly discuss sex and the importance and all that with many people on the Sex, Health and Dating board over on IGN. I know how important sex and a healthy sexual relationship is. Your viewpoint is skewed because of religion. I understand that. But the physical aspect of a relationship is very important, regardless of whether or not you feel that way.