will i ever get into the top 1000?!... after this my next goal is top 500, then top 100, top 10 and of course number 1... though prob years from now, my ambition is overwhelming sometimes for such simple things.. oh well its something i enjoy.. later!

Poems About You

unclasp the wings
from the past that has bound
and the sound of the wind
an unsombering sound
the way we made ways
to unfrivoulous found
and the future thats held
from the grip of my hands
and the smile of your face
to the palms of your hand
all the ways these fractures be found
and the way you sing..such beautiful sound.


Fuck You Without The "Me"

i want it
i've got it
now i've had it
i need it
i freed it
it's left
how im sadder
makes you gladder
i once had her
i left her
now i've had it
i've been there
lost in fear
covered by tears
i needed you
you hated me
im ignored
forgive me
all my pleas
now im gone.



All Alone Again Pt. I

she says she hates me
and then i cry
this feeling i had now fades inside
this feeling i had once risen above
now hides behind the emotion of pride
i thought i needed someone to be me
then i realized that it just cant be
she made me smile now not to be free
bound by worries and unwanted by me
i need self want but noone can see
that she hates me and it just cant be


All Alone Again Pt. II

... in great cofusion a loss for words
i turn to you to pry into my soul
break these bonds that are holding to tight
free me of these feelings that haunt me tonight
so scared and all alone
i needed someone to call my own
that person was you that came to my home
and layed with me and cried with me
i felt so alive like i finally mattered
then i knew that all this couldnt get any sadder
the way you yelled,and told me goodnight
the promises youd made to hold me tight
but noones listening today these things you said
and the tears that you cried and the tears that i shed
the feeling so lost in the emotion of sorrow
the feeling i get when you say tomorrow
never again i ll never see you dead
but then you left and i was alone
again without someone to call me own.....





All Alone Again Pt. III

sitting here still
so quite
so somber
as i look up
the door slams shut
tears running down my face
black as night
hear my screams
answer my prayers
give me comfort words, i wanna hear
one last tear that fills my eye,
rolls down my cheek
some adolescent,
[lets compensate for my worrys]

im lost in an endless maze of no escape, im losing air, and i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, chances are im not gonna be playing this game or any game in that matter if i keep living my life the way i have, i need a break, i need to get out and get away from everything.... fuck it

i cant play until i get a new computer or fix the one i have, im pretty sure i got some shitty virus or something, ive tried to defrag and reformat it and nothing has worked so im stuck like this at least until next month when i get a new comp, so its peace for now until something changes