Looking into where there's nothing
I don't want to discuss more, why should I go on?
Living on with the illusion
That one day you'll love me just like I love you

Out of me you look for revenge
And from you I look for a dream
Then tell me what should we do?
Yet... all this feels like a game

Maybe you loved who you shouldn't of loved
And you took just one fatal decision
He hurt you and you know it was wrong
And I had to pay up for it

Maybe he had fooled you and didn't love you for real
It was an adventure, a game nonetheless
They never really gave you an opportunity
And I had to pay up for it

You're believing that you love me
And in you I would believe
If It had tasted like truth, whatever we felt
Yet in our hearts deep inside you know we didn't want it

We lied to each other so well
And from the love's grip no one escapes
Why fool ourselves like that
Just that I thought that you loved me

I know I've hurt your heart
And that you're afraid of another disillusion
I know that your smiles have changed, that many dreams faded away
When we went away

But if you gave me another oportunity
Maybe you would go back to loving me... maybe...
In need for you I almost went crazy
Because the most bitter tragedy enveloped me, maybe it was from crying

I looked at the most fatal thing
I thought about killing
The day I loved you the most you left me
Damn it, I had given away my happyness!

They say it's a fool's thing to fall in love
To have feelings... To love nowadays is only matter of a kiss
Nobody compromises themselves ahead of time
Nobody believes in the eternal
My love... but because of that, we didn't have to do it like that.

I just want to mail you to give you the cheers for such a day as valentines, it's been crazy even up here and I bet you it was as well up there, how are you doing as of now anyways? I can't get on since I'm not at home yet I promised I'd mail as much as I can, but you see... the exams await and my aunt has gone hectic as in studying as in how much can I use PC at home and all, so I would assume it's only fair I should pass now, yet I also have the hope of so.

The day... it was very sweet, and I'm talking about literal sense, but first of all, I was very lost in dates because today I woke up not only thinking it was february 11 or something but also forgot I usually do a lot of things for my school on this exact days, I even sing for the morning sessions, a romantic song to start the day wouldn't be as much as awesome... but damnit, we had sent forms to indicate that the whole school would be allowed to not use uniforms and bring all casual wears with motifs of today! At least I got to read out this certain chap of the bible that my aunt forced me to read and kinda ignored, but upon finding it true, I decided to share it:

Love is suffered, it's benign; Love doesn't have jealousy, love is not a sin and it doesn't fade away.
Love doesn't do anything wrong, it doesn't look for anything from you, it doesn't get irritated and it doesn't hold grudges.
Love doesn't take advantage of injustice, but rather takes advantage of the truth.
It suffers through everything, it believes everything, it waits for everything and it supports everything!
Love never stops to be, but the prophecies will end, the languages will cease, and the science will end.

So, relating onto the topic of the clothing... most of the wears were blue jeans, red shirts and black shoes, quite classic, everyone else went on their own style; The day starts a little sad for me though because I didn't get anything special or anything that showed true appreciation by my classmates... BUT, then I realized it was only me thinking too sudden again, and later on I got given lots of candy and a few cheerful messages, yeah, I was very happy, valentines isn't about chocolates and lollipop, it's day of love AND friendship, and I don't care about not having a girlfriend, I'm still happy by having many people who still would be aside me to this date.

And not to mention, this was the most perverted outcome of valentines, if you only knew how many penis shaped things were there out for sale, it's like if valentines was all about sex (in part it is... but jeez, keep it out for a while! ) and not to mention other stuff as personal girl's toys and so on. There were 95% no classes in my school either since our math teacher was as "AWESOME" enough as to put us a freaking pop quiz in middle of today. Well, we played a lot of board games too and music class was as interesting as usual.

And in other news, I'm never eating this much candy in a holiday again unless it is very far from here (maybe Halloween by now), two of my back teeth hurt while I'm biting anything hard (candy or rice wise), so well my friends, I hope you enjoy your day, I hope to be with you again soon.

I don't know anymore who considers me alive and who does not, but I have my reasons, and online gaming is no excuse for me, I have a lot of things to say but most of you don't like reading long ass journals so let me see what can I do...

For all these days until the last friday (the day my vacations started) my scholar work was giving me a kick in the ass so hard that it shoved inside for a few days, I got let out the boot just recently, but the last saturday , my stepsister married and I'm happy about it cause the guy she married is not some random immigrant asshole like what happened to my real life sister, Yes it's true, I was going to be an uncle but the guy married her (at the age of 19) and ended only trying to use her... Well, that's not the point of this journal.

I have to admit, alas that I learned new ways of dancing for that wedding I enjoyed it, and I didn't even take a sip of alcohol so it was even better... except that my little cousin is an annoyance to the infinite potency, he's 13 and has a lot of perverse inquiries... OK, I know it's a stage of his life but not when someone gets that little fucker DRUNK, and he almost breaks a glass bottle on my head that night, but that's still not the point of this journal; And even though I smack him a lot for his stupidities... he still HUGS me when he's gonna go away, I felt so bad for scolding him so much back then ._., Oh well.

So in resume... I haven't got inspirational values in days for songs either, I hope all of you guys in my msn don't think I left you, I may be back soon, hugs to you all.

Today I'm uploading two songs that weren't in my NG address, so I am giving you a fair warning and advice to check.

-Faithful thought:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/108786

-Soft confrontation 2:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/108785

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/108630

Check "Tranquility~", it's to love it!