...This is a grandest apology to all the friends I have come to know through this site. I feel as though I have mistreated you all through my unending silence. For me to stay so silent around you all, despite all I have asked for before...

I can't even see myself as a friend to you all, demon that I am.

The weight of my conscience now pulls my very being to the ground, forever lost, seeking an answer through others that cannot come through them, but is hidden within my own frailty.

I now doubt that I ever deserved such amazing friends such as you all I have met, seraphim to my rotting oni.

Divine judgment wreak havoc on my soul...perhaps then I may see some light.

A shrinking violet, hm...

...

それ が 痛める...

毎日...

それ が 痛める.

A single life, torn away from the world
Blindly erecting its own prison
Sits idly by, asking those distant
"How has your day been?" once again

A simple statue, with dying flame
Stationary and unable to move
Sits idly by, asking those distant
"Good to see you again." once again

Living an eternal, facile facade
Veiling from the world the dark inside
In the silent nights, alone it asks:
"Shouldn't there be more to this life?"

Forging blades to cut its own heart
The blind life sits, and never changes
Its emotions die, with only one thing known
That it has learned how to live death

My heart, trapped within its own condemning cycles
Searching the world round, searching for escape
It cries in pain from its daily torments
Though the replies soothe nothing of its anguish.

My heart turns, searching for a new light
But is too rooted, and never leaps forth
Where shall it turn? What can it do?
The answer is simple: the heart beats, but does no function.

The heart must break out and reach away from home
What it fears is the unknown, and what hides
It fears the light may leave it, or look away
...Then, heart, simply look for another light.

I've had enough of this pain that I've been internally going through. It's high time that I start talking with people and that I put myself toward resolving this.