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#1 |
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FFR Player
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I was wondering if anyone else does this...
Whenever I get a plain package of M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally, I will get a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably, this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions, it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week, they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pund bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside next weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Last edited by Zerth; 06-29-2009 at 01:45 AM.. |
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#2 |
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Awwwwwww!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sacred Heart
Age: 30
Posts: 1,562
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Nice first post rofl
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#3 |
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FFR Player
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3 year old copypasta.
cool story bro |
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#4 |
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Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl
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Wow that is old.
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#5 |
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FFR Player
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YOU'RE OLD
lol kidding yeah I don't really post at all, but I found this and died laughing. but I came back from the dead, so it's all good |
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#6 | |
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Heckin' Cute
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Stepmania Cavern
Age: 28
Posts: 1,664
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Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahno
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#7 |
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FFR Player
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oh wow
you fail |
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