pregnancy help...

[Grandiagod]

Think about it for a second. Compare yourself at 18 to yourself at 14. Unless you have some sort of developmental disorder, most everything you are, changed in those four years. The teenage years are some of the most formative years of your life, where you grow and change into an adult. A 14 year old should not have enough in common with an 18 year old to have an intimate relationship. Maybe some are super mature for their age, but most aren't.

When someone is 38 and 34, they both have already matured, that's why it is different for older people.

@FA - 14 year old girls rarely use older men just for sex. Their minds don't work like that.

[lord_carbo]

Originally Posted by nforcer06164

Something tells me that this girl was trouble to begin with. She may be your friend, but if she backstabbed her own best friends to go have sex with an older guy, knowing very well what consequences might result, what kind of person is she? I know very well if my own friend backstabbed me, and then got into some huge trouble from doing it, I wouldn't be very interested in helping them out.

I'm not saying that you should turn your back on her too, but you need to remember that this is not your responsibility. You are not obligated to get involved, and if she's selfishly caused you any problems, no matter how minor, through all of this, you should just forget helping her, because she doesn't deserve it. She did something really stupid. Stupid actions have consequences. She's not going to learn that any easier if she rides on tons of support.

My suggestion is an abortion. But it's another life? It's immoral? Forget all that crap. If she and the other guy were both adults, it might be a different story. But, odds are when she has this baby in her arms after it is born, she will not put it up for adoption, no matter what she says now. If she keeps it, she won't be able to finish her education, and she'll end up running the rest of her life on minimum wage and/or government support. In the unlikely case she gives it up, she'll constantly wonder what happened to her baby, and the child will constantly wonder where his/her mother/father is and why he/she was given up; "Was I not wanted?" or "What did I do?" I can't speak from experience on this issue, but I sure wouldn't want to be that kid, or see that kid living out his life asking that question.

If she didn't cause you problems during all of this, then go ahead and tell her what she's in for if she has this baby. Tell her that she can "cut and run" right now, clean herself up, and have a normal, successful life if she's smart about it. She did do something stupid, yes, but she can lessen the burden a whole lot if she chooses to not have the baby.

I was going to post something just like this, but you did a better job than I could have so whatever.

PS if she's un-Christian enough to have sex before marriage for pleasure and curiousity then she should be un-Christian enough to abort that son-of-a-bitch.

[Tokzic]

Originally Posted by lord_carbo

PS if she's un-Christian enough to have sex before marriage for pleasure and curiousity then she should be un-Christian enough to abort that son-of-a-bitch.

who said it's a guy

[acknerr]

Serious topic here. If it will cause this much trouble, an abortion would be the best option. If she has little support, no means to take care of it, and isn't old enough to get a job, there isn't much you can do. Either way, really sorry to hear about this predicament. I'm sure she will make the right decision (hopefully)

[chickendude]

which is why schools need to provide completely anonymous methods of distributing condoms

many schools offer free condoms, but you have to go get them from the nurse, which is uncomfortable for most anyone who wanted to have sex.

Abortion is never the best option. Adoption is always 100% preferable. We can talk all we want about what she should have done, but in the end the only loving thing to do for the child and the girl would be to put the child up for adoption.

Loving for the child because he/she gets a chance at life.
Loving for the girl because it spares her the trauma of an invasive procedure that has a high potential of harming her reproductive system.

[Grandiagod]

Originally Posted by chardish

Loving for the girl because it spares her the trauma of an invasive procedure that has a high potential of harming her reproductive system.

Actually, abortion is very safe nowdays, with little chance of any real damage. There is more of a risk in getting a C-section than some abortion procedures.

But still, we really haven't heard the girls view on this nor have we had a chance to get her side of the story.

[Tokzic]

Originally Posted by chardish

i am right-wing

apparantly

[Magnafiend]

Originally Posted by Grandiagod

Actually, abortion is very safe nowdays, with little chance of any real damage. There is more of a risk in getting a C-section than some abortion procedures.

Who ever said she would need a C-section? If things go as they should (which is most likely) invasive procedures will not be necessary, making childbirth the safest option. Not to mention abortion could be emotionally traumatizing as well, the whole guilt trip thing and all, having to live with the fact that her child never had the chance to live, etc etc, whatever else people tell her and shame her with etc etc etc...

[jewpinthethird]

Originally Posted by chardish

Abortion is never the best option. Adoption is always 100% preferable. We can talk all we want about what she should have done, but in the end the only loving thing to do for the child and the girl would be to put the child up for adoption.

Loving for the child because he/she gets a chance at life.
Loving for the girl because it spares her the trauma of an invasive procedure that has a high potential of harming her reproductive system.

What are you talking about? Abortion is always the best option. Seriously, abortions should be mandatory for girls under 16 years old.

[_A2P]

Let's not turn this into an abortion issue.

[Tank101]

Originally Posted by _A2P

Let's not turn this into an abortion issue.

I'm afraid it's too late.

Nothing else we can do now except watch as nothing happens and destruction is caused.

ps I hope the baby is born and kills the mother during childbirth. Then grows up to find the cure for stupidity.

pps Why am I posting? I'm really tired and this probably makes little sense.

[acknerr]

Originally Posted by Magnafiend

Who ever said she would need a C-section? If things go as they should (which is most likely) invasive procedures will not be necessary, making childbirth the safest option. Not to mention abortion could be emotionally traumatizing as well, the whole guilt trip thing and all, having to live with the fact that her child never had the chance to live, etc etc, whatever else people tell her and shame her with etc etc etc...

It seems to me that the fact that she got pregnant in the first place would have gotten her enough trauma and guilt in the first place. If she wound up giving birth, the pain of that would probably traumatize her even more and then giving the baby away would create even more guilt. Abortion ultimately seems like the logical thing to do. No matter what happens, she will have gone through enough. Hey kentbball, seriously, I'm sorry to hear what your friend is going through. You will get through it though, just staying strong is the best thing for now.

[lbinator]

abort the damn fetus, who gives a ****? I hate when people are all like " its a life too" no its not, ok? People kill **** with more life than a damn fetus everyday, I mean you don't hear people complaining if you step on a spider or something, get a grip.


EDIT: woah lost it there... basically I think the better thing to do would be to advise her to get an abortion because she's 14 and even if she thinks she knows what she wants she probably doesn't and if she does give birth that child is not going to have a very good life. It's not fair to the kid.

[MCRenaissance]

Jewp, lock before Chardish.

Originally Posted by Grandiagod

Actually, abortion is very safe nowdays

Wikipedia may not be the best source, but -

A 1996 study found that suicide is more common after miscarriage and especially after induced abortion, than in the general population.[44] Additional research in 2002 reported that the risk of clinical depression was higher for women who chose to have an abortion compared to those who opted to carry to term — even if the pregnancy was unwanted.[45] Another study in 2006, which used data gathered over a 25-year period, found an increased occurrence of depression, anxiety, suicidal behavior, and substance abuse among women who had previously had an abortion.[46]

Also, there's a syndrome called "post-abortion syndrome" (PAS)...

Two studies, looking specifically for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms following abortion, were conducted in 2004 and 2005. The first surveyed 217 American women who had a history of abortion and queried them about symptoms they attributed to their abortions. Slightly over 14 percent had all the symptoms of PTSD which they attributed to their abortions, and over half reported at least some of the symptoms.[4] The second study examined ten cases of alleged PAS and reported that the criteria for PTSD were met in all ten. [1] Apart from the PTSD-specific symptoms, other symptoms noted in these studies were "repeated and persistent dreams and nightmares related with the abortion, intense feelings of guilt and the 'need to repair'." [1]

I'll find sources on the physical health effects later.

[Tokzic]

Originally Posted by chardish

sometimes people get sad when they abort

And I bet giving away your child after you get the natural motherly urges about it would be a hundred times as bad.

Or you could just ruin your life and your child's by keeping it. Much better, right?

ps chardish you're turning this into an abortion thread take it to ct

[acknerr]

So basically, she's out of luck either way she goes.?

[Tokzic]

Depends on what you mean by "out of luck". Yes, regardless of her course of action, she is going to go through hell. However, which path she chooses to take is up to her.

Abortion may result in some depression.

Letting the kid go to adoption will probably result in some depression.

Keeping the kid will likely blow her life completely.

Chardish, however, is being psycho-conservative and pressing his anti-abortion stance with some facts that really don't stand up and aren't even that relevant. She's going to be sad, you say? No ****. No matter what she does she is going to be sad. Her own damn fault for getting pregnant.

[Gamerchic14]

Originally Posted by UberMario

give her a bit of date rape and use a coathanger.

But seriously, the baby is a bad idea. Accident + no father + young + no support = bad. Talk her into getting an abortion. If she wants it because "it's another living thing", it isn't yet, but it will be if she goes through with it and it will have a terrible life because of her.

Think about it.

It IS a living thing. The best choice at such a young age would be for her to have the baby and put it up for adoption. But if she doesn't want to then just be a good friend to her, and try and help her best you can.