Mechanical Flower

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  • Zaevod
    FFR Player
    • Apr 2013
    • 385

    #1

    Mechanical Flower

    Finally a new song. This one is kinda special.

    "This is the theme of the Origin of Dreams, the Universe that contain all "universes", real or imaginary, in my books. It's also the theme of the character Zaevod.

    It contains some melodies that were used in other themes, too, but they were originally intended for this."

    https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/mechanical-flower

    I might tweak it later a little.
    https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse
  • Ohaider
    FFR Veteran
    • Jun 2012
    • 2893

    #2
    Re: Mechanical Flower

    Hearin improvement all over

    Comment

    • ScylaX
      urararararararara
      FFR Music Producer
      • Dec 2007
      • 1044

      #3
      Re: Mechanical Flower

      So the intro sounds really PRO and all. At first I thought you weren't the guy I thought you were when I read your nickname and I was like "wait is he the guy I'm thinking about or am I just mixing him with another guy".
      And then the rest of the song came out and from the global vibes I just knew I was right since the beginning. U ARE U !!!!!!

      A.k.a. what I said before stills applies to this piece for me. But I've got to say, you're improving. Even though it still seems "unpolished" to my mind (I still don't know where you wanted to go on some long notes you pulled) it's like you're managing to output legit FEELINGS and VIBES from it. Keep up, you're on the right way.
      Suimega is my present username!!! (b-but feel free to call me scylaax anyway) | https://suimega.bandcamp.com/

      Comment

      • Zaevod
        FFR Player
        • Apr 2013
        • 385

        #4
        Re: Mechanical Flower

        Originally posted by ScylaX
        A.k.a. what I said before stills applies to this piece for me. But I've got to say, you're improving. Even though it still seems "unpolished" to my mind (I still don't know where you wanted to go on some long notes you pulled) it's like you're managing to output legit FEELINGS and VIBES from it. Keep up, you're on the right way.
        Heh... I have a legitimate feeling for every note I put, but not all these feelings are easy to describe with words, or are just mixed XP
        Last edited by Zaevod; 08-4-2013, 08:08 PM.
        https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse

        Comment

        • Arkuski
          FFR Veteran
          • Jul 2006
          • 1118

          #5
          Re: Mechanical Flower

          Dude great intro!

          Originally posted by Wayward Vagabond
          i can appreciate a good looking woman when i see one and this one just happened to be my mom

          Comment

          • Zaevod
            FFR Player
            • Apr 2013
            • 385

            #6
            Re: Mechanical Flower

            Thanks. It was fun to make. I remember hearing that intro alone 976457648568 times before doing the rest.
            https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse

            Comment

            • Xiz
              TWG Chaos
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Feb 2012
              • 3399

              #7
              Re: Mechanical Flower

              Originally posted by Ohaider
              Hearin improvement all over
              ^ This x 5000

              Do more. Do more more more more. I can see great things for you at this rate.

              Comment

              • Coolboyrulez0
                VICES
                FFR Simfile Author
                FFR Music Producer
                • Aug 2006
                • 10042

                #8
                Re: Mechanical Flower

                the mixing is getting a lot better but i feel the arrangment itself is confused

                i get no consistent theme here its all just notes to me(?)... also the mix goes really muddy when the guitar comes in (3:01), it introduces noise and doesnt lay nice in the mix at all

                that being said you are getting better esp. drums and the mids -- HUGE improvement since your earlier works
                Last edited by Coolboyrulez0; 08-5-2013, 03:11 AM.
                https://soundcloud.com/cbrbreakcore
                https://cbrrecords.bandcamp.com/

                Comment

                • ScylaX
                  urararararararara
                  FFR Music Producer
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 1044

                  #9
                  Re: Mechanical Flower

                  Originally posted by Coolboyrulez0
                  i get no consistent theme here its all just notes to me(?)...
                  Yeah that's exactly what I was trying to say earlier.
                  Suimega is my present username!!! (b-but feel free to call me scylaax anyway) | https://suimega.bandcamp.com/

                  Comment

                  • Zaevod
                    FFR Player
                    • Apr 2013
                    • 385

                    #10
                    Re: Mechanical Flower

                    Originally posted by Xiz
                    ^ This x 5000

                    Do more. Do more more more more. I can see great things for you at this rate.
                    I'll be working on a villain song next

                    Originally posted by Coolboyrulez0
                    i get no consistent theme here its all just notes to me(?)...
                    Hmm... well, I don't entirely agree but I kind of know where the problem is.

                    You see, most of those tracks have some very old melodies I created and sometimes try to tie together, but that doesn't always work as well as I intended. In this case, for example, I can see 3 distinct themes: the frilly fast thing, the one for the verses and the one for the choruses. They don't have the exact same mood, and that was intentional.

                    I do think that the isolated themes (especially the chorus) are pretty memorable on their own, so that's why I think that saying it's "just notes" is a bit too much. But I should probably try to just make new melodies from scratch than try to tie several old themes in a same song from now on, because I didn't hear this kind of complaint for Labyrinth of Logic (in my sig), for example (I created that one from scratch).

                    Or maybe not everyone likes when I try to shift moods.
                    Last edited by Zaevod; 08-5-2013, 06:50 AM.
                    https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse

                    Comment

                    • ScylaX
                      urararararararara
                      FFR Music Producer
                      • Dec 2007
                      • 1044

                      #11
                      Re: Mechanical Flower

                      The problem isn't about what you have in mind, the problem is about how you execute it. You can be gifted for composing music and have a lot of inspiration, however if you can't manage to work on it correctly (like, you know, basic theoretical principles behind any "technically good" musical composition) the final product will most likely be a typical "meh song with great ideas nonetheless".
                      Don't take it for what you made there, I just want you to get the idea.

                      That makes the difference between the work of a genius who's a rookie to music composition and a typical bland mainstream music that is aesthetically poor but which respects what makes a music still pleasant to listen to (to some extent !!)
                      Last edited by ScylaX; 08-5-2013, 11:45 AM.
                      Suimega is my present username!!! (b-but feel free to call me scylaax anyway) | https://suimega.bandcamp.com/

                      Comment

                      • Zaevod
                        FFR Player
                        • Apr 2013
                        • 385

                        #12
                        Re: Mechanical Flower

                        Oh gosh, I'd really like some specific examples right now (like what specific notes should be changed and stuff). I could even provide the .flp to whoever's willing to take a look at it.
                        Last edited by Zaevod; 08-5-2013, 11:56 AM.
                        https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse

                        Comment

                        • Nullifidian
                          ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                          FFR Simfile Author
                          • Sep 2007
                          • 1837

                          #13
                          Re: Mechanical Flower

                          The song really is lacking any coherency/consistency. It all sounds like random notes that have no thought behind it and don't fit together. The intro was kind of interesting and I could see that working for something like a game where you're at some magical shrine or something but it gets old really fast and the tone progression could use some work. The rest just didn't fit at all and sounds like you took random bits and pieces and mashed it all together. I'd say listen to a bunch of intricate songs with complex progressions to get a better feel for what sounds good together, because it's basically impossible to dissect your entire melody and pinpoint the problems because there are so many anyway (especially tricky for me now since I don't know/can't read notes anymore).

                          Comment

                          • Zaevod
                            FFR Player
                            • Apr 2013
                            • 385

                            #14
                            Re: Mechanical Flower

                            Originally posted by _.Spitfire._
                            It all sounds like random notes that have no thought behind it and don't fit together
                            This is getting pretty ridiculous, to be honest. Seriously? It sounds completely random?

                            Why don't you point out an intricate song with a melody you actually enjoy, then?
                            Last edited by Zaevod; 08-5-2013, 12:51 PM.
                            https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/the-glimpse

                            Comment

                            • Nullifidian
                              ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                              FFR Simfile Author
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 1837

                              #15
                              Re: Mechanical Flower

                              like I said, it's impossible for me to pinpoint issues because there are so many and I know that sounds horribly elitist. It really isn't though, because picture someone making a drawing and lacking in all of the fundamentals. What are you going to pinpoint as errors when the entire drawing is fundamentally flawed (basically everything)? More importantly, how is someone who doesn't know the fundamentals going to understand why they're errors? It's not meant as an insult, so please don't take it personal.

                              Each melody on their own sort of works (not that well though, there are a lot of dissonant notes), but it's almost as if you made these bits seperately and then put them together without making sure they actually fit together.
                              Last edited by Nullifidian; 08-5-2013, 12:53 PM.

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