Flasion

[MrGiggles]

It's cool, but....

I dunno, it's one of those things that's hard to place your finger on. Maybe it's your writing style, it seemed a bit odd to me. I think that if you wait for a year, then rewrite it, it would be awesome.

Nice story though.
Hey wait, I'm not in it. =P

[Grandiagod]

Cool ending, I don't care to much for fantasy, but this was interesting.