I want to be something I am not.

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

My friend, as young as you are to be coming up with these revelations I applaud you for your newfound insight. Now the real question is this: Can you hold true to these ideas and fight to become something better, or will you just let it all fall to the wayside?

If you do, just remember, you're young. This will all come in time if you let it. But do what Guido says and read that book.

I'm going to hold onto it for dear life. Also, if I do prevail, I won't be on this forum anymore (nor much of the internet). I'm building a website with her and am going to be the programmer with no experience at all when I decided to help.

Shox, chivalry seems to be a lot more accepted in Canada by women than America. It's terrible that I never knew of the word until a few months ago. I wish to be that guy that lays his jacket on the puddle for the lady (or hold the door... in which case that seems to always be the most common thing to do for that).

Verruckter, yeah I read somewhere about being a gentleman and that is to be polite to anyone regardless of who they are and if they decide to be rude to you, never lower yourself to their level and just be calm, etc.

Oh, with that said about my website... is there anyone interested in helping me? If so, PM me.

[flipsta_lombax]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

See, you have already taken the first step to maturity, and that's admitting your self weaknesses. Maturity, as well as love and charity, takes time. You're youung; you probably have alot to go through in the future.

First, how did you guys break up? Did she end it or did you pull it off? It would be easier if you are the one to back down seeing that she'll be more forgiving. Though I am not sure what'll happen if she backed down.

Sometimes in life, we have to let go of things we really charish deep inside us. Though it would be hard to let go, we just have to face that better things may and will happen in our lives, just by seeing life opptomistically.

Though life does give second chances. If I were you, I'd take my time gradually taking her back, like befriend her at first; never ask her out again. IMO, that is just a big no-no. As you two are friends, take time to talk with her, and somehow, get emotionally intact with her. Guys, I know, aren't usually the ones to have such quality, but if you are really desperate, this is the way to go.

But hey, let's face it, I am merely a person in the vast corners of the Intraweb; it's all up to you how you decide this. But it's nice to offer people even if it's just a reply on a random forum. Good luck.

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

flipsta, I'm not in here for any support upon having her come back to me. She broke it off, but we're going to be living together. We're friends. Good friends. In fact, she's probably my only friend now.

How shox gave little tips and advice is really what I'm looking for. That is because I never really had a parent tell me how to act... for anyone. I slouch, I spit, I make witty smart-ass jokes, I laugh at stupid stuff. I never got into drugs though, but all my bad qualities have been accepted and never been frowned upon it seemed. I just really hate how I never even saw those things as anything bad.

[flipsta_lombax]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

Well, let's hope common-sense is present within you; you will know what is the right thing to do with her.

Adding to shox's list, I'll add communication first; it's quite a pre-requisite. You can also try to practice ways to make her feel better, like...making her laugh. Seeing that she is possibly your only friend, try telling her you're the most awesome person in the world.

And the minor things that relates to shox's ideas are pretty self-explanatory. You'll know you're doing something right if she is smiling or maybe even hug you or whatever.

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

Yeah, drinking never was something I never really appreciated. Having a few beer is fine, but pointless. She also hates beer. I hate hard liquor. Other than scotch. I don't like smoking, I hung out with kids that did all the time. They all spat, that's where I got the habit from. i m kool. I quit spitting though. I try to hold doors open for her, open the car door for her, I just really wish I was taller or a bit bulkier. I've the waist of a 12 year old girl, it's really cool since I can eat anything I want and not gain weight, but with that, I don't have much weight and could be tossed pretty easily. Any ideas to make up for height? I try very hard to quit slouching even though I've been doing it all my life really badly and no one said a word against it.

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

Well, let's hope common-sense is present within you; you will know what is the right thing to do with her.

Common sense is very far from me, that's why I made this thread.

Like I said, I spat, slouched, looked at the ground when I walk. It never occurred to me that I should be doing something better than that until she stated it as something unusual that she hates seeing me do.

[flipsta_lombax]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

High-metabolism people makes me lawl. I just don't know what to say to them but trying to excercise till they get a toned body to their preference, though I am not even sure if that is possible.

You know, if you start worrying about what good things you do with her, it might get noticable to her and might get obvious. She'll probably notice. Don't take this change into evasive action, but give it a gradual change. It'll be easier on you and it'll help her think you are changing for the better, but not in a overly drastic way.

Slouching is what a guy do =P. I am practically slouching right now. Just try adjusting when she is nearby; clearly, nobody is perfect.

EDIT:After reading your recent reply, I would think many girls get used to things differently. It may probably be her pet-peeve and she is trying to change you. Well, it's a good thing she opened your eyes however. It was a giant step to your new you. =P

[Chrissi]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

I don't know about you guys, but I love small, cute things.

Small cute guys are cuuuuuuuuuute.

[lord_carbo]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

I don't know about you guys, but I love small, cute things.

Small cute guys are cuuuuuuuuuute.

Mine is small =/

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

I don't know about you guys, but I love small, cute things.

Small cute guys are cuuuuuuuuuute.

I prefer small girls.

Shox, I'm 5'5 and fit only kid's 16 pants (About 26/28). I have a toned body already, it's just.. small in general. I've no chest, but my arms are huge (for never working out) because my dad was an arm wrestler back in the day.

Chrissi, what do you want in a man that would wow you?

[DrugstoreCowboy]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

This book was helpful to me. A little bit of comedy, but it got down to the facts of being a man.

The things that have made my relationship flourish was just basically, listening to EVERY word she said. Its helpful to remember things she says because weeks later, you could always surprise her with a gift of something she mentioned.

Example: My girlfriend says (while we were talking about food) "I love apples, expecially when they taste like they were just picked off of the tree."
2 weeks later, I tell her I have a surprise for her. We get in the car and I drive her to an apple orchard. +5 points for remembering what she said, and + 5 points for being cute/romantic.

Opening the car door, Hanging up coat/jacket, holding her hand and many other things like that are nice to do.

One other thing that I did that made her just fall in love with me was..(This was before we were dating) Me and my (now current)girlfriend just went to the movies. We got back to her house, I walked her to her door. Said I had a good time with her and wanted to go back out with her again. She said some things and we hugged and i gave her a kiss on the cheek and she went inside. I didnt leave her door, but instead I called her phone and said she forgot something and to come back to the door. She opens the door and sees me with my hands behind my back. She asks what she forgot and I gave her another hug and one more kiss and said "That." and she thought that was the most cutest thing of all time.

I have plenty more cute things that you can do if you want to hear them, but i know this post is superlong.

<3

[Chrissi]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

I prefer small girls.

Shox, I'm 5'5 and fit only kid's 16 pants (About 26/28). I have a toned body already, it's just.. small in general. I've no chest, but my arms are huge (for never working out) because my dad was an arm wrestler back in the day.

Chrissi, what do you want in a man that would wow you?

Amazing logic, sincerity, and romantic in a non-misogynist way.

The things that have made my relationship flourish was just basically, listening to EVERY word she said. Its helpful to remember things she says because weeks later, you could always surprise her with a gift of something she mentioned.

Like that.

Opening the car door, Hanging up coat/jacket

And not like that.

[UberMario]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

<3

<3.


Chrissi, non-misogynist way as in not chivalry ("women can do it on their own")?

Pff, I'm still going to do that.

Hmmm. How was my valentine's gift for her (The blue yukata with red lining and bow) from a scale of 1-10?

[DrugstoreCowboy]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

i didnt hear about this gift..?

did you make a thread about it that i missed?

[Chrissi]

Re: I want to be something I am not.

<3.


Chrissi, non-misogynist way as in not chivalry ("women can do it on their own")?

Pff, I'm still going to do that.

Hmmm. How was my valentine's gift for her (The blue yukata with red lining and bow) from a scale of 1-10?

Depends on her interests. To me, it would be 1000% yes. So like, 100 on a scale of 1 to 10.