The Idiocy of Teachers Thread

[xiron]

My band teacher gets really mad a lot. hes very entertaining. some of my favorite moments-

1. He got so mad he tripped over a music stand and almost fell down.
2. One time he wrote a guy up for farting.
3. he kicked my friend dave out for trying to explain to a less experienced player how to play a note that he didnt know.
4. when he gets really mad, he starts speaking in incoherent phrases, usually consisting something along the lines of "Sir, we cannot do this your way, we are going to do it my way or you will be on your way to the office if you cant do it my way because my way is the only way that will work and we cant do things your way." his face always gets really red too.


also.

this isnt really a dumb teacher moment. its more of a dumb counselor moment. we were in class preparing for our 8th grade career fair. we were supposed to choose 7 that we thought wed like to see. currently, i would like to be a funeral home director. seeing as there werent any funeral home directors on the list, i raised my hand to ask which of the ones on the list would be most pertinent to being a funeral home director, so i could at least get something out of it. she calls on me, and i ask my question very politely.

she goes "oh yeah, im sutre thats what you want to be." very sarcastically.
I say, "that was a serious question. id really like to know"
then, taking a COMPLETELY proffesional approach, goes to the back of the room and says "I cant take this anymore" then i try to explain that it waas a serious question, and she keeps going on about how we dont respect her and that we are horrible to her. the science teacher finally convinces her to come back to the front of the room and continue, at which point someone laughs and she storms out of the room. completely proffesional

the science teacher was then nice enough to answer my question, which raised my respect for her a lot.

keep in mind, this is also the school counselor who told people not to hang out with me because im obviously a bad influence (just because i wear black) she told at least 2 people that if she saw them with me, she would call their parents and tell them.

since the science incident, every time she sees me, she says "Hello" in this like murderous voice. i dont know if she trying to reconcile or trying to put some kind of curse on me.

whatev

[MonkeyFoo]

Xiron... you... wanna be a funeral home director and wear black all the time? If you wear those uber-baggy short pants that have zippers and D-rings all over them, good luck if you ever come near a magnet.

Through the years, I've had weird/quirky science teachers:
6th Grade: The decapitation song! Our class sang along.
7th Grade: - Answered questions like, "Is it a boy or a girl?" with "Yes."
- Had people refer to him as God
- Answered questions that he didn't know the answer to with, "There's no crying in baseball."
8th Grade: The only thing weird about her was that she had a double chin despite her slim figure. From her posture, I think.
9th Grade: Kind of a pedophile, all the girls wore skimpy outfits and sexy shoes on test days, or when they asked about their grades. He tended to bump grades up a bit... creepy.
10th Grade: - Throws chalk at people.
- When he runs out of board space, he keeps writing on walls, cabinets, windows, etc.

These teachers aren't stupid, but they sure can be strange sometimes.
I also have a sexist Spanish teacher. She sings, makes us sing, joins in on girls' converstions about what happened on the OC last night, and then yells at the guys for laughing at her acronyms like T.A.R.D.

[dontcareaboutmyid]

don't get me started on stupid teachers

there are these fucktards at the tech that decide to weigh everyhting on the final projects/tests.

they suck ass

I had to literally stop one class in order to pass the other four I'm taking

with work, to eat and sleep, and trying to have a social life, there is not enough time in the day

[msbrunnettemickey]

~Back in 7th grade~

Me: So you mean, that if you cut open the frog, and you find a bird you get 10 extra credit points?

Mrs. Allen: Yes, but only if you open up the bird also.

Me: So that means, if i open up the bird also, and find a bee do i get 20 extra credit points?

Mrs. Allen: Michelle, JUST OPEN UP THE GOD FORSAKING FROG I WANNA SEE IF IT HAS A UTARUS!!

[metsfan001]

I had a teacher throw chalk at me (missing on purpose) when I jokingly insulted the U-Michigan football team (or made a "Go Spartans!" comment, I forget which).

[igotrhythm]

Darn. I haven't had truly retarded teachers. The only teachers I can remember are the awesome ones.

My 11th grade English teacher taught our class lessons about life all the time. For example, when he decided to teach us about denotations and connotations, he gave us a MASSIVE LIST on connotations for "vomit". It was the best day of my life.

My favorite one? "Spew a rainbow of past-digested delicacies."

~Squeek

I prefer something I read in an Animorphs book: "Technicolor yawn."

Anyway, in my study hall my sophomore year of high school, one of the seniors liked to take calls to the room and mess with them a little bit. So I decided to get in on the fun. I picked up, and in my best New Yorker fake accent..."This is Andy the soda jerk, what can I pour ya?" And the teacher didn't mind one bit. That soda jerk comment kept that senior going all through the semester.

[evilbutterfly]

My 3rd period is a split class. We go for 45 minutes, eat lunch, then come back for another 45 minutes. It's Spanish class, so we do a lot of talking. At the beginning of class she always asks us what we did the day before and we tell her stories. Usually it takes 5-10 minutes. Today (because of the 3-day weekend we had), the entire first half of class was wasted telling stories.

[Tps222]

Hmmm, a few teachers come to my mind.

I was taking a mid-term exam, and the proctor was an english teacher. So we were sitting there taking are tests, and the heater starts to make some weird sounds, and she is like"Ooops, that's just my locked up elf in my class, I must have forgot to feed him again,". Everyone was real silent in a freaked out sort of way.

Then, theres the spanish teacher. She sits there all period and watch kids draw and other stuff completey off-topic, doesn't care. One time, a kid named Dave wasn't in school, and the teacher asked me where he was, and I was like, "He's in the closet back there", and she walks back there and is like, "Dave, get out of there", then, one of the kids in the class goes, " No, Ms.Jarem, I hate you". Dave got a referral that day.

Foreign English teachers suck.

Spelling word=Corridor
She pronounces = Car door

Everyone gets it wrong.

[ckj846]

My 3rd period is a split class. We go for 45 minutes, eat lunch, then come back for another 45 minutes. It's Spanish class, so we do a lot of talking. At the beginning of class she always asks us what we did the day before and we tell her stories. Usually it takes 5-10 minutes. Today (because of the 3-day weekend we had), the entire first half of class was wasted telling stories.

Reminds me of my fifth grade teacher...
OMG!!!
He had this "Log of Weekly Events" in the back of the room, and you would write whatever was bothering you in the little notebook...
One girl kept on "telling" on the other kids, so my teacher starts to read all of the passages that this one girl keeps writing. She wrote things like "Kelley ate an apple and threw it on the ground!" and random things of the sort. So, my fifth grade teacher starts reading them aloud in front of the class on a Friday. He then starts screaming at this girl, making no sense nor sentences for that matter. All I remember is that the girl never once spoke to the teacher, and she never wrote in that stupid journal. What really bugged me was that the journal was totally public...
My teacher was a total jerk, but it just made me laugh because that whole day was spent talking about our Weekly Events and how we should keep some of them to ourselves...
Good times...
O_o

[Squeek]

My 3rd period is a split class. We go for 45 minutes, eat lunch, then come back for another 45 minutes. It's Spanish class, so we do a lot of talking. At the beginning of class she always asks us what we did the day before and we tell her stories. Usually it takes 5-10 minutes. Today (because of the 3-day weekend we had), the entire first half of class was wasted telling stories.

... This is abnormal?

In my high school, it was inferred among the entire class that the goal was to waste as much time as humanly possible in any way, shape, or form. We were quite successful in this manner as well. There were many days where we didn't actually do anything at all.

~Squeek

[Silver_Brian]

wow i wish i could do that. Sometimes we do that when its like a half day or something. Movies + popcorn + soda = :P Mr. Schmidt you rock!

On the stupid teachers note, my science teacher last year was a total idiot. I told my friend, on the last day of school, somebody should give her a gift basket with some deodorant. Because her armpits were always yellow. X_X

[xiron]

Xiron... you... wanna be a funeral home director and wear black all the time? If you wear those uber-baggy short pants that have zippers and D-rings all over them, good luck if you ever come near a magnet.

I don't wear "uber-baggy short pants that have zippers and D-rings all over them". I actually dress fairly normally.

[blargherness]

well not really stupid teacher, more annoying...but i'll say it anyway. my english teacher is always picking on me. not sure if its on purpose or if i really stand out.
1. one day in class, she was writing on the board about a story and literary terms, and about none of the people in class were taking notes. (she never said to.) im in the FAR back, paying total attention, and all of a sudden she yells out to me and me only, why arent you writing this down! seriously "insert my name here:P" you should write things down more often. all of a sudden everybody at once takes out their notebooks and she doesnt even notice.
2.didn't do my homework. but thats not it. my half friend half enemy who sits beside me didnt do it either. she was calling on students for the answers. (by the way it was vocab. homework) and she calls on me. i flip back a few pages to look at the vocabulary so i could possibly answer, and she sighs "you didnt do your homework, did you." then its my friend-enemy's turn. (by the way he's not an enemy because of this situation.) remember he didnt do it either. he flips a few pages back, and the teacher calls out "oh i understand if you missed that. it was really tough." when even i could get the answer without previously doing it. so he gets credit and i dont. but neither of us did it. of course i wouldnt tell.....
3. project, working in class. working with friend-enemy. (not enemy for this reason either.) he has all the sheets we need for it and im helping righting stuff and leaning over to his desk to see how to work things out. having conversations to make the project better, then the english teacher, yet again, annoys me. "hey, why dont you have anything in front of you!? are you making your partner do all of the work?? gosh. take out something. i respond, "I may not have anything on MY desk but im working things out with the stuff on my partners desk. im working just as much as he is, i dont think it matters whos desk the papers are on." she responds in a totally sarcastic manner, "ok, sure."
4. forgot my book, looking on with my friend, (this is just remotely annoying.) the teacher comes over and says "i dont think he (my friend) likes you very much, your always hovering over your shoulder. he told me he didn't like it yesterday." i pretty much knew it was a lie, and later on my friend is like "what was that all about, i dont mind you looking at my book at all." lying just so i bring in my book, not very teacher-like if you ask me. not that bad though.
5. sometimes, i cant find my homework in my notebook cause of all the other crap in there, so whenever i look for it for a little too long, even when i do have it, the teacher just says "i know the 'i cant find my homework' trick." and gives me a zero.
i tell her that i really have it and ill show it to her but she doesnt listen, then again, i never end up finding it. stupid crappy notebook with the crap in it.
6. essay. returned. graded. crappily. i get about 10 points off cause i used "The" too much, and i mean its a pretty common word.
7. this one i find pretty funny cause its true. she is deciding where to put everybody in next year: accelerated, honors, standard, or college core. she goes to the back of the room where me and my friend sit.
teacher, to my friend "i know you work very hard and do your best, but im not sure if a 70 is going to help you much. how about going to standard next year?" he agrees.
to me: "now....what are we going to do with you....." in that kind of tone like its hopeless :P

well theres a list of semi-semi-annoying things my english teacher does to me, although that stuff is probably normal stuff a teacher does to everybody and im just too ignorant to see.

[Tasuke]

Well the first one she was being sarcastic and she wanted everyone
to get out their notebooks. None of my teachers act like regular idiots.

But one time in seventh grade the teacher wrote colored pencils on the
board behind her, and some later walked up and earased some of the
letters s it said "colored penis" and the some other kid took her picture
in front of the board and that was right by her head. When the pictures
got developed, she had to cut that part out.