The atrocities of the world.

Of the men being shot to death

Of the women raped, tortured, then murdered.

Of the children bound and gagged, then beheaded on video for the world to see.

Of all the victims from bomb explosions.

We band together, yet there are so many whos only goal is to tear us apart.

Of all the people that die when two buildings are targeted.

What do we do? How do we stop it?

We band together, tighter thats what we do. We grab each others hands and we walk a broad line against our enemies. We stand strong and spit in their faces, showing them we are strong.

We take vengence for the innocent lives lost in a battle they could not understand. And for those that do understand, they know what must be done.

We must defend ourselves and others in these instances.

For should we let those men be shot? For no reason?

For should we let those women be raped until their bodies give way and their spirits fade out of existance.

For should we let the children, no matter what country they are from, should we let them be captured, beaten then executed.

For should we let those that died on September 11th die in vain.

I say not.

What do we make of ourselves in this world? How, as humans, do we define eachother and oursleves? Through our actions and inactions? what we do or don't do? or perhaps its in our own beliefs and morals, our ethics that, whether or not we try to, cannot be hidden from the world. Despite the common mantra of equality, every human being is different. Maybe the individuality itself is the key to our dominance? Fact is that we can't possible be like someone else, you can't hide yourself and your own personal experiences and put on the facade of someone elses. People keep telling me to be myself, don't do anything i wouldn't do. Well, fact is, that decision is completely out of mine and everyone elses control. I can only be myself, i cannot be any other. The same rule applies to anyone you meet. Some may be able to lie well enough to pull that veil, but it will eventually come up, no one can live underneath a blanket forever.

What makes us who we are? What we do? How we feel? How we interact with other people? In todays world, words mean little to nothing, it is actions that show true worth. Yet to achieve the great things in life you at least need to focus on the positives, for if you stay in the negative, it makes the jump so much farther. Its funny really, to watch people complain about all the terror, pain, suffering, and death in the world, when there is so much more thats happening. Is it natural for humans to be so negative? How the hell did we get anywhere? I'm not saying to delude yourself with impossibilities and hopeless happiness. Don't view the world from a positive view, nor from a negative view. View it from a realistic stance, one that doesn't see the glass half empty nor half full. Just a glass containing some sort of liquid. Yet its when tragedy strikes that we often lose sight of this and turn our backs to the world. We find solice and comfort within ourselves, and feel safer to not let anyone in, and in most cases I would agree. For me strength is a big thing, and its something that people don't realize about me, they just think i'm weird.

For example, I wear a coat year round, a heavy coat, regardless of triple digit weather or not. I tell people that its comfortable and I even have an explanation for it. But truth is that, for me, its almost like a right of passage or a sign of strength. I don't take it off, no matter how hot it gets, I suffer through it, and for that I consider myself stronger than most for tolerance. No matter how bad things get emotionally, I make it a point never to let anyone see me cry, even involving the death of a family member...

My family, lately, has started to worry about me, my parents have even considered sending me to a shrink. I honestly don't believe I need one. I know for a fact I'm not crazy, and I know this because I know every exact reason why someone would think I'm crazy. However, in the past years, I can't help but feel some sort of emotional change. I seem to no longer care for my life anymore. I neither care whether I live or die. Don't think I would commit suicide, the pain would have to be far greater than this before I would even consider that option. I'm merely saying that death comes when death comes, and I'll embrace it when my time is up. Yet if I can manage to give my life at least to save anothers, I wouldn't hesitate. I'm no longer afraid of death. However that thought alone troubles me. At the age of 16 I feel I've already lived a full life and have already expericed that which i intend to, which does not include anything remotely connected with any sort of relationship with anybody.

I am a loner, I work better by myself, and I intend to keep it that way. Though as arrogant as it may sound, I don't need anybody, because I don't want to need anybody. Should an opportunity float my way I'll take it, hell I'll even make my own opportunities. But as far as being helped by other people, I would pretty much like to avoid.

What do we want? What do we all want? Someone? To be there for us when we inevitably fall? Or maybe to be able to get up ourselves? Is that why we beat ourselves up when we make a mistake, no matter how small? Why do we strive to be perfect? Even though the feat is impossible...

So is this life? Is this what its all about? It seems so surreal, almost a game. What are we supposed to do? Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? To reproduce? But, how can it be so simple? Life is precious, it is a gift that is so delicate, once its broken, it can hardly ever be pieced back together. Through all the pain, loss, and sorrow that we as humans feel all our lives, we still perservere. We constantly look forward to the happiness, the joy that we can only hope follows. So what happens to someone who gives up? Death? Suicide? and after that? Heaven? Hell? Where do we go, and what is done with what is left of us? And why do we contantly try to meddle in things so far above our heads? We delve deep into concepts that take so much more of an understanding and try to contemplate it. But whats the point? Like the saying, ignorance is bliss, it truely is. So why do we try to unerstand these things, when the truth, the knowledge, is too powerful for our own minds. Yet we do it anyway, and we'll keep on doing it. Till one day, it destroys us all...