I Have Been Thinking About Life A Lot Lately. I Know It Will Sound Like I'm Depressed And All That, But I Am Not.
Anyways,I Thought About How People Affect Me. How My Emotions Get The Best Of Me, I Always think About That Stuff. I Am Starting To Get Confused A Lot Because I Don't Want To Have Emotions, I Want To Get Rid Of Them. I Have Numbed Up A Few Of Them To Where I Just Don't Care About Anything Really. Which Is Really Bad For Me. [(For My Poems Anyways I Haven't Thought About A Good Poem Since Well A Few Weeks Ago. The Ones That I Have Posted Are Old.)] I Get Really Irritated Easily With My Mom. But The Punishments That I Get, Which Is Just Basically Being Yelled Back At, I Just Don't Mind. But My Actions Don't Show That. I Think My Body Is So Use To Caring That It Works Without My Brain Helping It Or Something. Because Well I Can't Focus Much Anymore. I Would Just Think. And If I'm Walking I Would Bump Into People, Even when I Notice Them. I Can't Remember Much Anymore Because I Just Don't Really Care. I Can't Pay Attention 'Cause I'm Too Busy Thinking About My Life.
I Think I Need a Shrink!

I Noticed That Only My Anger Gets The Best Of Me. I Don't Get Happy Because Apparently I'm Missing Joy In My Life. I Don't Want To Deal With Emotions, To Have The Pain Of Heart Brakes, The Embarrassment Of Humiliation, Ect.

I Get Confused Because Nothing Adds Up In My Head. I Can't Figure Out How To Get Them All Numbed Up.
Because Of My Personality Of Being The Leader
( Which I Don't Really Show In My Actions) I Have To Just Retaliate To Words Thrown At Me. Then I Get Really Pissed Off At Myself For That Action. Which Ends Up With Me Thinking Of How To Not End Up Reacting To It. Which I Get Confused About Cause I Do Not Have That Self Control. I Guess It Will Take Me Awhile To Really Get Control Of Myself. I Mean Come On I'm Only Thirteen. In Angered Situations With My Family I Normally Win Because I Know How To Use My Words To Find Your WeakNess And Make You Break. I Also Realize That I Can Only Think About These Things When I'm Alone And It's Quiet. I Can't Concentrate.I Keep People Out Of My Head. For Even If I Explain These Things To You. You Will Never Understand. I Don't Like Attention. I HATE It When People Ask Me What Is Wrong. I Will End Up Thinking Of 10 Ways Of How To Kill You. Don't Ever Explain Useless Things To Me. Unless I Ask, Cause Then You Are Using Up Valuable Space In My Memory, That I Could Be Using For More Important Useless Things.

I Like To Figure Things Out. Like My Life And How It Works. How I can Get Set Off. How It Feels To Be This Way And What Happened To Make Me Feel That. I Observe People And See How They React To Things And I Try To Get Inside Their Head. I Like To Be Alone .. Have Peoples Presences Out Of My Reach. I Like Being This Way. But I Want To Know Why. So I'm Stuck Thinking About My Life And Existence.
Curiosity Kills The Cat!

I Remember When I Never Wanted Anyone Inside My Head/Life. Well They can't Really Know If They Never Read These And Asked Me.. I Feel Like I Don't Know Myself. I Know That These Are Confusing A Bit. But I Feel Like I Just Have To Get It Out.
Maybe That Is Why I'm Searching So Hard

How The Rain Come Crashing Down
How This Pain Won't Make Me Frown
Maybe This Inner Pain May Die
Falling To These Knees And Cry

Towering Over This Building
Standing On My Edge
Waiting For The Push
To Be Free Again

My Dreams Come To Life
Bursting In The Flames
Towering Far In My Cave
Never Passing To The Grave

Never To Be Set Free Of These Lies
I Search Frantically For Unawakened Eyes
For Being Lost And Forgotten
It Comes To Clear

The Life Never Ceased
My Life To Far Away
My Death Never Paced
The Death Would Always Stay

The Thought Never Occur To Me
"You Are Lost"
To Open My Eyes And see
With A Cost

Go And Find Yourself
I'm Too Tired To Say
"Come And Find Me
I Hate Your Guts Everyday"

My Life So Limp
My Eyes So Red
The Sheets Have Ripped
I Am Not Dead

I Was Blank
My Eyes Were Blind
To The Truth
Not Ever Again

The Time Is Now
For Me To Believe
To Start Over Again
And Not Fail

I Have Made My Choice
I Want Life
To Be Happy
For A Smile To Surface

In Reality
Nothing Happens
No Life
Not Anymore

I Said Yes
Yes To No
I Can't Stay Here
I Have To Go

The Strings Of The Guitar
The Beat Of The Drums
The Words Of Her Voice
The Strum Of The Bass

The Words She Speaks
The Music They Play
Her Story Is True
Will It Die?

"The Night Is Filled
With Fire And Black
Nothing Is There
No Words

The Sigh Is Deadly
The Stab Is Mild
The Thought You Said
Bring No End

The Blood Is There
The Knife Is Gone
No One See's You
I'm Dead"