Chapter Two: The Demon has Spoken, we must go!
Posted on: September 2, 2008, at 07:01:19pm


I started walking away from my house and looking at the night sky and moon. The moon was like a big white chocolate cookie. So round with its white chocolate chips. It made me even hungrier.

I looked away and started walking again. Everything looked the same. The houses were all painted the same color. Blue and Green, a horrible color choice I would say. The cars were all SUV’s or vans. The windows were tinted with yellow and some with orange. I knew that I was really hungry when this started to happen.

As I kept walking down the side-walk I noticed a little cat like animal walking in the distance. I usually would never hurt animals. They were so cute, fuzzy, and fun to play with. But I wasn’t in control of my hunger.

You see, when I get hungry I am like a puppet on strings. My hunger controls me. When I see or hear my prey. That is the end of their life. I kill it so fast and with a wide smile with laughter and without a second thought.

I jumped in a tree and watched the little animal. Its master must be in the house that it’s walking in front of, I thought. So I would have to be very careful. I watched it walk away and lick it’s self a couple of times. Ok, even though I was controlled I thought the animal licking it’s self was a little cute. The animal’s ears twitched and looked at the tree I was in.

I jumped out of the tree and smiled at the little animal. It started to get in a defense stance. How cute! I ran towards the cat but it dodged me by merely just walking to the left. I growl at the animal and the animal just sat on the ground and tilted its head at me. Then I charged towards the little animal and it jumped on my back and clawed my back. I knew the might hurt in the morning.

I grabbed the little animal and killed it very quickly. But not with a smile or laughter. No I cracked its neck and ripped its head off,” That was very annoying but you know what? I think I would have loved to have you as a pet.” Then I flipped him over so the blood could run down in my throat. Yes, I know this was very brutal but why should I care?

The blood was delicious! So sweet and warm. This was not a cat. Oh this was a ….lion cub? I flipped it back upside right and looked at its body. And it was a lion cub. I felt so bad deep down but yet I couldn’t stop myself from putting it back up side down and drinking more of its blood.

“I’m going to go feed Slayer.” A voice yelled from inside the house I was in front of.

I dropped the headless cub and jumped in the tree I was in before. I started to gain control of myself and looked at my bloody hands. My pupils got small and I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that i killed that lion. It was so cute and warm. The skin it’s self was very soft and I killed it.

1. 1: carlin
   Posted at 10:58pm on September 2nd, 2008

   Ok, couple of issues with this one. You use the word "animal" a lot, maybe try to find a better word.
   "I grabbed the little animal and killed it very quickly." Terrible sentence I have to say, you might want to get into the more gory details if you want to have any hope of this sounding good.
   ex: I grabbed the lion from where it stood and latched my hand onto it's neck; All I could remember happening next was the sound of muscles and skin ripping apart and the spurt of blood as the head separated from the body.
   Also, why is there a lion in a town? Unless the place they live in is in Africa then I think it would make more sense to have it be some other animal unless you have some kind of major plot stuff going on later that HAS to use a lion. =P
   Hope I helped.
2. 2: shadowrougesonic
   Posted at 8:35am on September 3rd, 2008

   thank you ^^ it does help but the lion will have something more in the plot once you read more ^^