BANK ROBBERY

Two blondes, Trisha and Robin decided to rob a bank together.

The first blonde, Trisha plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Robin, in great detail.

The robbery begins. Trisha drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.

You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," said Robin.

Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car.

One minute passes . . .

Two minutes pass . . .

Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Robin. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"

Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

There was three blondes stranded on a island far, far away. They saw a magic bottle floating on the water. They retrieved it and they went ahead and rubbed it, a genie came out and said " thank you very much lady's". the genie said, just for that I will grant you all one wish and one wish only, so all three blondes were happy.

The first blonde said I want to be rich and have a big mansion with a big swimming pool," poof", she was gone having a good time.

The second blonde said, I want to be a millionaire and own a plane with a cute husband to take care of me and travel the world, ' poof", she was of with her husband having a good time.

Then the third blonde was so sad. And the genie asked, "what is wrong?", the blonde said, you know what I wish, "I wish my friends were back here with me", and "poof", there they are, back together again.

1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We piss sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We avoid speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sleep with them.
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!).
14. We're cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
25. Cosmopolitan.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defence for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men can.
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic.
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too.
37. We get expensive jewellery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewellery all the time because men fuck up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.
40. Blondes are cleaner.
41.Blondes have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didn't know).
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. Massage!!!!
45. Blondes know how to fake it..
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. Better Tips
50. There is no penis envy.

A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, "Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car!" said the blonde.
"There's hundreds of them!"

BLONDE ONE-LINERS

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to re-train.

What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4 way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? "Toe goes in first".

What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? "OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds."

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins.

Three blondes walked into a bar. You'd think that one of them would have seen it.

How do you know there's a blonde secretary working in an office? The boss is always smiling.

Why is a blonde like a mosquito? She starts sucking, you keep slapping her away and she comes back for more.

Why is a blonde like a bowling ball? You finger her three times, you shag her down an alley and she always comes back for more.

Why is a blonde like a tv? A child can turn her on.