The Trouble Is
Posted on: June 27, 2009, at 12:17:29pm

There’s an old saying in my village. The saying is ‘the trouble is,’ and of course it’s used in lieu of complex communication. Whenever something goes wrong in the village, the elders gather together under a very, very tall palm tree and discuss the problem. “The trouble is,” one will begin, and another will nod his head in agreement. “Yes. The trouble is.” The elders will all affirm that the trouble is, and then they’ll get up and go back to their huts, hoping that in the morning the trouble isn’t.
Now, you might be wondering just WHAT the trouble is, and I’m sorry to say that no one here has ever quite been able to figure it out. When a coconut falls on someone’s head, when a shark eats a passerby, and when a volcano causes the villagers to relocate to a less volatile landscape it’s simply said that ‘the trouble is.’
While this approach to unsettling events may seem imbecilic to some, let me assure you that this system has helped us adjust to the difficulties in life. We sometimes hear that other villages try to find the cause of their troubles, but really we don’t have the time for such measures. While other men, women and children scurry about wondering why things happen, we are free to spend time perfecting our hammocks and eating our prisoners.
The next time a coconut falls on your head, the next time a shark eats you or a volcano forces you to pack in a hurry, just remember that in the grand scheme of things, who cares why it happened? Your elders will sit under the very, very tall palm tree and assure each other that ‘the trouble is,’ so feel free to take a relaxing nap in your hammock before eating a prisoner or two.
And remember, all that nonsense about the ‘wheel’ is just silly European gibberish.

1. 1: insomniac_platypus
   Posted at 2:04pm on June 27th, 2009

   Heheh, this is great!!
   ... "Perfecting our hammocks and eating our prisoners."
   And I really like the last line X3