RIP Grandpa Johny
Posted on: September 20, 2009, at 10:01:01pm

how we pronounce it, Ya-nee

he died today and i just feel horrible. I mean everyone was crying hard core, and i couldn't, i wasn't as sad as i should've been and i feel like a horrible person for not even crying for my own grandfather. He never spoke english and i never spoke spanish, if there's anything to remember, it's just us saying hi and bye to each other and maybe a hug every now and then. I should've been around him more instead of avoiding him. I'm a horrible person.

I feel worse for my grandmother, i can't stop thinking about how she's gonna move on, life was tough for her already, now that grandpa's gone i can only imagine how she's gonna be like. Everyone is down and florida, and i'm staying here because i chose to go to school, because this year it's hard already, but no matter how hard it is i should've went there because he's my grandfather, and i could've helped my grandmother out...

Grandpa lived 87 years, though ppl say it was a long time, i just wish it could be longer. I feel so bad, and yet i'm also mad because when i went to a friend for comfort, he said i'm breaking into his "House time" he says he loves me and junk, but he chooses tv over me. but now that i think about it, thinking about grandpa, i probobly deserve it