What defines you?

[Cavernio]

Ok, so I truly am asking a question with this, however, I do wish to discuss the issue with a critical mind, so I'm posting it here. I'm also going to get the ball rolling.

I've talked to someone who's said that what they do for their job doesn't define who they are, and they generalize this to everyone. I partially disagree with this, because how can something which takes up 40 hrs a week (talking about full-time here), not have some sort of part in defining who you are?

If work doesn't define you, what does? Do thoughts define us, or do our actions? Or something else?

I know that I exist outside how I affect other people, but to me, none of that matters if I don't affect other people in some way. There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me. But, as the title suggests, it's more than just wanting attention; it's necessary for defining myself. If I don't affect anyone, I might as well not matter. My thoughts matter only if they're shared. Is this how you think too?

Getting back to the work issue, upon knowing my stand on this, if I spend a majority of the time working, then it's impossible for this to not define part of who I am, seeing as work in a capitalist society is defined by someone paying you for it, and ergo at a minimum, you affect the person who's paying you.

[MooMoo_Cowfreak]

For what you do for work defining who you are, it really depends. I honestly (and hopefully) doubt that a teenager who flips patties at McDonald's loves what he does and cherishes every living moment of it.

However, if someone who likes to write is a freelance writer, then that's what defines them, somewhat at least, because it's what they like to do.

That sorta brings in the question of money. Perhaps someone hates their job but is making like 15$ an hour. Well, that defines him as a greedy jerk who's only in it for the money. So there ya go.

[ballaw hare]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me.

Sorry if I seem to be nip picking but that isn't exclusive to humans.

[Xx{Midday}xX]

Consider this: An entity is only defined when there are others there to accept its existence. Hence, "you" are what others state that "you" are.

Moreover, this relates to the theory that the universe was designed to encompass mankind, hence the universe cannot exist without us humans as the observer.

I don't really buy into this theory, mainly because I believe that what "you" are is defined as what "you" percept "yourself" as. The universe is the universe, regardless of whether humans have the capability of observing it as an external entity. As selfish as this may sound, I believe that the only person you can truly believe in the end is, "yourself". Hence, "you" are what "you" define "yourself" as, while that definition may be influenced by external observers.

[infinity.]

Going with what Midday said, I believe that you don't define yourself, but your actions and expressions cause others to define you. Obviously you will have your own assumptions about yourself, but what you think is not how others always perceive you.

EDIT: Can someone CT ban Tofu?

[Cavernio]

Ballaw Hare: The term is 'nit picking', and I disagree with you. We are the utmost of social beings in known existence. We are the only beings which communicate in language, and are the only ones capable of sharing our thoughts and feelings in such an explicit way. I am dubious if the term 'think highly of' can be something an animal can have for another being, because there is so much societal structure that needs to not only exist, but also to be intellectually undestood, in order for us to place value on other people.

Midday: So, if you are who you define yourself to be, and you matter only to yourself, you would be alright if you were the last living person on earth?

[tupacodaman]

Originally Posted by ballaw hare

Sorry if I seem to be nip picking but that isn't exclusive to humans.

lol what? what other species, besides humans, have that quality of wanting to affect others?

and on the original question about your friend who thinks their work doesn't define them

Most likely they are 1 one 2 types of people. The first type is the "vague/artsy philosophical type". Some of my friends fit this category. They are majoring in philosophy and thus think that they know everything there is to know on the subject (aesthetics, good music/writing/poetry/etc, and so on). However, they are actually full of crap because they are inconsistent in their views, only liking the "idea" of something (liking indie music because it is indie and "revolutionary", according to critics) and not the actual object (the music could suck ass, a la Vampire Weekend, but be hailed as revolutionary because Pitchfork said so). Your friend might simply be unhappy with his/her job and therefore say that their job "doesn't define them" when in fact they're just unhappy.

The second type I don't really have a name for, but it's more like me and what it sound like the original poster is. We actually think about the connotation and denotation of the words we use instead of throwing them around aimlessly. I agree that any job you are has to somewhat "define you" since you ARE going there to work for a good amount of time. However, if your friend is thise second type, then maybe he really does mean that the job isn't allowing him/herself to express him/herself. Maybe the friend is a psych major and knows a lot about child clinical cases and is working at a lab that only treats adult clinical cases. In this case, the job doesn't define the friend because of a disparity in the knowledge known by the friend and the knowledge needed for the job. Your friend could be a super liberal and be working at a job that somehow really encourages conformity (office worker required to wear a suit and tie and do somewhat menial/repetitive filing tasks all week). In this case, the job doesn't define the friend because of a disparity in ideology. The job's "ideal" worker is not "superficially liberal", if that makes sense). Both disparities I think are pretty legit complaints. For the first complaint about the job not applying to your area of expertise: you might be able to use your knowledge at hand to somehow apply it to the current situation at your job. I can definitely see this being a HUGE problem though and that your friend might have to consider another job. The second case I think is what the first type of person (philosophical artsy BS'er) I mentioned MEANS to say is affecting him (but it isn't really, he's just unhappy with the job). This case can be truly the case if all your coworkers/boss have a completely different set of ideals/morals than you do and if the company itself expresses that it has different ideals/moral than you do. I would see this as more as a challenge though, and embrace my uniqueness as much as possible. wear my tie slightly wrinkled, untie cuffs, stuff like that.

In conclusion, I'd say there's a slightly greater chance your friend is unhappy with the job and that he/she doesn't actually mean that the job doesn't "define" who he/she is. speaking from experience lol. most people really don't mean what they say and use a magnitude of a word that is not representative of their actual/current situation

[Chrissi]

Maybe this sounds like a cop-out and irrelevant to the discussion to you, but I feel like trying to find out what "defines" someone is completely.... how do you say it... semantics? Like, it doesn't matter how you're "defined" because that's just what somebody is SAYING about you. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't make you different. You can call yourself whatever and it won't mean anything.

[Xx{Midday}xX]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Midday: So, if you are who you define yourself to be, and you matter only to yourself, you would be alright if you were the last living person on earth?

You could define yourself as someone who needs to have others in your midst, and I also said that your own decisions are influenced by other people.

Moreover, I don't think humans can accomplish anything by themselves.

[Mans0n]

People Define them selves in some sort of way everyday.
I mean everybody (Most people) choose their clothes everymorning when they get up to work right? Well that right there is in a way defining yourself because ''you'' pick'ed out your clothes.
^^ also Midday is pretty right, other people influence are actions everyday.
Example: My girlfriend does'nt like that guy over there. She say's he's a pervert.
Im gonna go beat the **** outta him.
That example right their shows how manipulated men (humans) are.
I mean think about it, that girl (girlfriend) could have made that up. To get her boyfriend to beat up the guy.
So yeah.

[Xx{Midday}xX]

Clothes don't decide who you are. What. Since when did your taste in clothes decide who you are.

[Cavernio]

I think my wording in 'defining' oneself was poor in what I was trying to address. Perhaps I meant more 'what makes you happy'. My existence needs to be defined in order for me to be happy.

Midday: You didn't answer my question, personally, beyond that it'd suck not being able to 'get anything done'. You see, I wouldn't be happy with no one else around, because there'd be no reason to get anything done.

Tupacodaman: You do raise an interesting point, in that she just believes it because she's unhappy with her job. I don't think she's unhappy with it though, she teaches piano, and takes much pride and concern in her students. It is, however, possible that she thought it only because there's been so much other **** going on in her life that her job pales in comparison to it. I doubt that she was just throwing the statemnet around.
She does, however, have an opinion on anything and everything, but they're always founded so that it makes sense with at least one given fact.
This leads me to another question though. How do you resolve things to yourself if you believe that work does define you, yet for some reason you're doing work that's, well, not meaningful enough to be happy in how it's defining you? Are the only options getting a new job or changing what you decide defines you?

[1961casey]

Good question!

The main problem is that there are just about as many ways to define oneself as there are people in the world. Some people define themselves by how much money they earn, others by the amount of authority they have over others, others by how well they may perform a certain task ie. athletics. Others use more abstract standards such as how they can help others, the amount of cheer and good will the extend every day, some can be as pathetic as needing a person to smile at them to assuage their self-worth. Some define themselves by their relationship to someone important. Some people are just content being who they are and accepting that.

Your friend said that her job doesn't define her and based on how you have described her she may be right. It sounds like she has a genuine concern for people which she can express through her job. She could probably do well in another occupation if it also involved some personal interaction. Therefore, her job is not what defines her but the pride she has in someone else's achievements. Maybe you should ask her about what she does outside her job and what brings her satisfaction. I'm betting that her relationships are important to her and the fact that she would want to help others achieve whatever goals they may have.

[rzr]

Work defining who I am? Ha. I work at McDonald's. It says nothing about who I am. I'm going for a job at Hot Topic, that would show who I am. Anything else?

[tha Guardians]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Ok, so I truly am asking a question with this, however, I do wish to discuss the issue with a critical mind, so I'm posting it here. I'm also going to get the ball rolling.

I've talked to someone who's said that what they do for their job doesn't define who they are, and they generalize this to everyone. I partially disagree with this, because how can something which takes up 40 hrs a week (talking about full-time here), not have some sort of part in defining who you are?

If work doesn't define you, what does? Do thoughts define us, or do our actions? Or something else?

I know that I exist outside how I affect other people, but to me, none of that matters if I don't affect other people in some way. There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me. But, as the title suggests, it's more than just wanting attention; it's necessary for defining myself. If I don't affect anyone, I might as well not matter. My thoughts matter only if they're shared. Is this how you think too?

Getting back to the work issue, upon knowing my stand on this, if I spend a majority of the time working, then it's impossible for this to not define part of who I am, seeing as work in a capitalist society is defined by someone paying you for it, and ergo at a minimum, you affect the person who's paying you.

Your job is only a way to spend the time and make your life easier.

What I believe defines a person is, well, their personality.
Their beliefs, their outlook.. things of that nature.

Additionally, what defines a person can also be what's important to them.
Music defines me because without it, I would be a much different person.

It's really nobody's place to say what defines someone else.

Originally Posted by Xx{Midday}xX

Clothes don't decide who you are. What. Since when did your taste in clothes decide who you are.

It shows how you like to present yourself to others, and also what style you like.

Every single thing a person does, thinks, or says defines that person a little.
A person is truly defined by who they are, which includes every single thing about them and every single thing included in their life. However, a person can make a statement on how they would like to be viewed, or "defined".

[Xx{Midnight}xX]

Originally Posted by Xx{Midday}xX

Clothes don't decide who you are. What. Since when did your taste in clothes decide who you are.

Out here cloths and who you hang with is the deciding factor of almost everything. Personally it sucks. When one person wears one thing and the "Popular" kids dislike not many people will talk to them.

What should define a person is how they act, think and their personality. But even with this it has its problems. Just because some one acts a bit stupid doesn't always mean they are. A person's ability to think and act upon their thinking can also be taken badly because some people don't agree with that line of thinking. (Like the people who still believe in God and those who don't.) On top of all that a person's personality is almost always determined by a few factors, such as how you were raised and what you're told by people.

Basically what I think is that people just shouldn't be judged period, if that were to stop the world might actually be worth going into.

[monkeybomb45]

"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth."
--Alan Watts

[Xx{Midday}xX]

Oh I see.

Meh, I was taking this in a more shintoistic direction I guess.

[Corbin Wells]

I believe my actions define me more than my thoughts. Although I do feel that thoughts are extremely important because it is part of our consciousness and is what is used in making decisions, I believe that the actions I make speak much more strongly than the taboo thoughts that sometimes would be made or created out of my minds complete randomness. Like when we dream, we have strange dreams, the mind filters out a whole bunch of random things in sleep.

[ledwix]

I think my thoughts define me more than my actions do. This is because it's tough for me to translate some of my most profound thoughts into acts, so I kind of hide inside myself due to a lack of confidence. I get extremely paranoid in some social situations. Basically, I think more than I talk. Of course, the only way to gauge who someone else is is to evaluate their actions. So the way to define someone outside of our own being may be to observe their actions, since this is the only way to do it. But for ourselves, we can feel our thoughts and see our own character in an even greater light; we have that primary-source type of connection with our own conscience. We actually know when we're thinking perverted thoughts and fantasizing, and everything else. It's interesting how this isn't the case with others.

My job will only define who I am in the future if it follows the lines of my career interests: the fields of philosophy or physics/astronomy. If I end up becoming a physics major who drops out of college and flips burgers, it won't define who I am; just the method I use to put food on the table. If I end up in an observatory, that will match my personality. I'd conclude that jobs don't necessarily correlate with character or a person's most obvious qualities.