Posted on: March 14, 2011, at 07:07:36am [4 comments]
crackling bounces off of perfect crystal leaves.
the sweet intoxication of marijuana into my lungs.
a beautiful cloud of smoke.
calm falls over me.
I leave the world that consumes me
to enter the world I consume.
The air is now filled with laughter,
not a single thought of despair.
I'm surrounded by blitzed smiles,
and a night without a care.
INFO:Poem I wrote for a contest about smoking weed on allpoetry.com. I won :]
Posted on: March 14, 2011, at 06:12:02am [0 comments]
Ensnared by fog;
I'm on the other side-
looking at the world through another's eyes.
Such a busy mind,
I'm only ever half there.
my days all twist together.
It seems that I've forgotten how to feel.
Is any of this real?
The more I breathe, the more it hurts.
Time and thoughts combine.
Countless hours wasted on emptiness.
The shadows grow larger- sharp branches longing to consume me.
Psychological beings fighting to control me.
I am my own leech.
My imagination claws at me-
I'm crawling out of my skin.
Everything I touch feels like fire.
Constant restless nights
full of violent sub-conscious fights.
I'm trapped inside a mind that isn't mine anymore.
She's taken over and I'm lost.
The queen that holds the thread
has made me her marionette.
I've been damned to dance for her forever.
WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT: When I use "thread" in my poems its actually a reference to my poem "Thread". The Black Queen also often just referred to as "she" is a personification of my depression and I picture her as an evil me. She lives inside of me and eats away at me every day. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the outside looking in, or on the other side of the fog. There's constantly people around me but I still feel alone. So many things go on in my mind and I get stuck there, focusing on stupid thoughts. All of this is extremely difficult to explain. A lot of the time I imagine myself just clawing my way out of my own skin and during that time everything i touch feels awful, like it burns my skin. Any touch during this time is just acidic to me. I feel like there's not enough air to fill my lungs no matter how much I inhale.