Just sort of threw this together.

[ShastaTwist]

The sound of shattering reverberates across the room, the only evidence of our crime,
And we’re running, stooped over, picking up each precious piece,
Each red, splintered piece of our broken hearts.
And we’re taking our time,
Torturing ourselves with the pain our stalling has wrought upon us,
But at least we’re suffering together.

Biting words and narrowed eyes paired with the dangerous taste for the dramatic,
And I’m begging you to let me down, because I’m going to get up for this one.
You’re getting my hopes up and I know this is dangerous,
Our situation is so problematic,
And these shattered pieces of our hearts are taking vengeance on our fragile palms,
This is a recipe for disaster.

With your outspread arms and this sickening spinning, I’m collapsing all over for you,
So give me something to hold onto because I’m not sure how much I can take.
Surrender yourself to the catastrophe that we’ve created because it’s beautiful,
But what are we going to do?
We’re falling harder and faster and you haven’t prepared yourself for the landing,
And I’m in no position to help.

My simple words and your lonely nights spent thinking too much turned us to dust,
You created a perfect breeding ground for your own jealousy,
And maybe I should apologize for bringing the fuel but I’m paying the price.
Paying the price with the blue pieces of your broken trust,
And the broken, green pieces of your jealousy, both cutting into my skin,
But I know just how to tear you down.

[boondocks77]

I'm not gonna say it was beautiful because I'm not gay but it was well done. What were you thinking about though when you wrote it?

[The Rozen Maiden]

OMG!!!!!
I LOVE THIS POEM!
YOU ARE REALLY GOOD!!
U have BIG potential
u should write a book
lol n.n

[ShastaTwist]

It was kind of a thing about my ex-boyfriend and I mixed with an idea I had running around in my head. The situation is a little complicated and nobody really wants to know anyway, I'm sure.

[Wintergreen]

Interesting... You took something extremely cliche (broken hearts) and created something new out of it. Good job. I enjoyed the color association. c:

( P.S. It could use a little clarification. That's my criticism. D; )

[ShastaTwist]

I'm totally glad someone noticed the use of colors for the three different things. :]]

[Tokzic]

I like how throughout the whole thing there's the image of something glass falling on the floor and breaking, but they're out of order - the pieces cracked apart and mixed around on the floor, maybe.

What bugs me about this though is that it's one of those things that's written in a fit of emotion, so everything you write is very vague and only understandable by you and who you're writing it about. Saying "my heart is in pieces on the floor" is more powerful when you say what happened to put it in that situation first. When you're writing poetry based on your emotion, it's best to harness them but not let them tackle you down, because having powerful feelings gives you a raw item to write about, but letting them run rampant all over the page doesn't result in anything solid.

[ShastaTwist]

I can throw in a "Distance sucks" for you, Jared baby.


EDIT::

I would write another stanza, but the drive for this poem has pretty much been extinguished due to the fact that I'm essentially "done" with it. I'll see what I can do.

Also, I touched on one of the reasons for the "heartbreak" in the fourth stanza with the whole jealousy thing.

[championanwar]

Love it!! its really gooood!! nice flow!!