Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found

CrystalProphecy · 05-2-2007, 10:34 PM

Top Four Winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest
in the "New Woman Magazine"

Na-na na-na na-nah!

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Surprise!

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Priceless

One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

Mom's Advice

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

BLaCkHawKDowN615 · 05-2-2007, 11:10 PM

lmao...hilarious

g4z33b0 · 05-3-2007, 07:32 AM

They probably just make this shit up to fill pages, but in anycase, not very amusing.

madmatt621 · 05-3-2007, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by g4z33b0

They probably just make this shit up to fill pages, but in anycase, not very amusing.

At least have a sense of humor, g4z33b0.

FRANKKK · 05-3-2007, 09:07 AM

Hahahaha,
"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

Wlfwnd91 · 05-3-2007, 02:09 PM

ROFL! I'm sitting here in school and had to use everything in me not to bust out laughing at #2 and #3. The first and last one weren't AS funny, and the last one seems fake, but still amusing.

**Squeek** · 05-3-2007, 02:14 PM

#3 is stolen from Bash.

Wlfwnd91 · 05-3-2007, 02:16 PM

What's Bash?

**Squeek** · 05-3-2007, 02:21 PM

Bet you can't just google it and find out for yourself.

In fact, I guarantee that it's not the very first result for google searches when you search the word "bash".

GUARANTEED.

But anyway, here you go.

http://www.bash.org/?212775

Wlfwnd91 · 05-3-2007, 02:23 PM

Opening this thread I knew that was going to be the response lol. This computer just runs slow as hell and I didn't think it would take too long to explain, so I asked. You probably spent more time telling me to use google and being a smartass than by just telling me what Bash is

**Squeek** · 05-3-2007, 02:26 PM

No, because nobody can describe what the essence of Bash is with words alone.

I can tell you it's a quote database. That doesn't really help, now does it?

It's something you have to see to understand.

Wlfwnd91 · 05-3-2007, 02:30 PM

Well then how bout instead of being a douche you say "It's hard to explain, just google it."?

beaner692 · 05-3-2007, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wlfwnd91

Well then how bout instead of being a douche

:O

...wow...

**Squeek** · 05-3-2007, 02:59 PM

Because I hate it when people ask stupid questions that can be answered in less than three seconds by searching Google.

I banned "what's ____?" questions in Media, after all. They're practically postwhoring in my opinion.

I mean, think about it. Say you're reading a book and the author uses some word you don't understand. Do you write a letter to the author asking for a definition of the word?

g4z33b0 · 05-3-2007, 03:04 PM

Well ninja'd I guess, didn't thoroughly read Squeeks last post

The stories are not amusing to me, pardon me.

05-2-2007, 10:34 PM	#1
CrystalProphecy FFR Player Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 9	Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Top Four Winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine" Na-na na-na na-nah! While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Surprise! It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again. Priceless One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Mom's Advice A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school." __________________

05-3-2007, 09:07 AM	#5
FRANKKK FFR Player Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New York Posts: 1,802	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Hahahaha, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?" __________________ Full combo's: 230 AAA's: 75 Latest AAA: Lesson. Best AAA: Firestorm. GameWhore Clan "Team Mom's Been Whoring" hahaha.

05-3-2007, 02:09 PM	#6
Wlfwnd91 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Roselle, IL (NW Suburb) Age: 35 Posts: 499	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found ROFL! I'm sitting here in school and had to use everything in me not to bust out laughing at #2 and #3. The first and last one weren't AS funny, and the last one seems fake, but still amusing. __________________

05-3-2007, 02:14 PM	#7
Squeek let it snow~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 14,444	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found #3 is stolen from Bash.

05-3-2007, 02:16 PM	#8
Wlfwnd91 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Roselle, IL (NW Suburb) Age: 35 Posts: 499	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found What's Bash? __________________

05-2-2007, 11:10 PM	#2
BLaCkHawKDowN615 FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: PA Age: 34 Posts: 98	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found lmao...hilarious __________________ AAA's - 20 Practice safe lunch. Use a condiment.

05-3-2007, 07:32 AM	#3
g4z33b0 Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Apex, NC Age: 34 Posts: 2,618	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found They probably just make this shit up to fill pages, but in anycase, not very amusing.

05-3-2007, 02:21 PM	#9
Squeek let it snow~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 14,444	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Bet you can't just google it and find out for yourself. In fact, I guarantee that it's not the very first result for google searches when you search the word "bash". GUARANTEED. But anyway, here you go. http://www.bash.org/?212775 Last edited by Squeek; 05-3-2007 at 02:23 PM..

05-3-2007, 02:23 PM	#10
Wlfwnd91 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Roselle, IL (NW Suburb) Age: 35 Posts: 499	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Opening this thread I knew that was going to be the response lol. This computer just runs slow as hell and I didn't think it would take too long to explain, so I asked. You probably spent more time telling me to use google and being a smartass than by just telling me what Bash is __________________

05-3-2007, 02:26 PM	#11
Squeek let it snow~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 14,444	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found No, because nobody can describe what the essence of Bash is with words alone. I can tell you it's a quote database. That doesn't really help, now does it? It's something you have to see to understand.

05-3-2007, 02:30 PM	#12
Wlfwnd91 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Roselle, IL (NW Suburb) Age: 35 Posts: 499	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Well then how bout instead of being a douche you say "It's hard to explain, just google it."? __________________

05-3-2007, 02:59 PM	#14
Squeek let it snow~ Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 14,444	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Because I hate it when people ask stupid questions that can be answered in less than three seconds by searching Google. I banned "what's ____?" questions in Media, after all. They're practically postwhoring in my opinion. I mean, think about it. Say you're reading a book and the author uses some word you don't understand. Do you write a letter to the author asking for a definition of the word?

05-3-2007, 03:04 PM	#15
g4z33b0 Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Apex, NC Age: 34 Posts: 2,618	Re: Funniest Embarrasing Moments I Found Well ninja'd I guess, didn't thoroughly read Squeeks last post The stories are not amusing to me, pardon me.

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