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Old 04-19-2007, 12:33 AM   #1
chaoticblue
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Default Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Well, I'm kinda new here and I just thought I'd bring the topic up, if it hasn't been already. Well, we all know that somewhere out there someone is having sex or dating a cousin. I thought it was really weird and wrong at first, but a close friend of mine just kind of opened up to be one night *he was drunk as hell and probably doesn't remember*, and told me that his parents were in fact cousins. He went on to talk about how depressed he was about this and how ashamed he was, afraid that other people would find out or some such thing.

Well here's my question really, what is wrong with cousins doing that kinda thing anyways? I mean, sure it seems kinda weird at first, but when I really thought about it I kind of realized that if two people really really love eachother then why not? I did have this doubt in me before that cousins who have kids together produce retarded or deformed offspring, but my friend is pretty above average if you ask me. Then there's the whole 'only hicks and poor degenerates do it' myth, and well his parents are doctors. I think his father's a surgeon and his mother's a pediatrist?

Which leads me to my next question! Do cousins who have sex with eachother and have a baby really have an extremely huge risk of getting a mentally retarded or physically deformed baby?

I don't really understand the big taboo that surrounds this issue and why people look down upon and sometimes actively harrass people who fell in love and started a relationship. If anyone wants to give their thoughts or any info on this it would be much appreciated.

Sorry if this seems really rushed or incoherrent, I'm studying for a history exam right now and I'm really hoping I won't fail.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:43 AM   #2
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

yes, creepy, just no.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:44 AM   #3
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

I really don't understand, why not though?
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:47 AM   #4
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

The thing that's wrong with it is that they are RELATED TO EACH OTHER. I don't have a problem if people are in love and gay or something like that, but two people related by blood or other family ties is just weird. If they should ban any kind of marrige, it should be this kind.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:48 AM   #5
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

I still don't understand why they shuold ban it though, I mean sure they are related, but if they still fall in love I really don't see why not.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:51 AM   #6
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Yeah, I'm all for acceptence of people, but family members should not be in relationships of that kind.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:52 AM   #7
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Why? What reason is there other than the creepiness factor (which I kind of agree on)?
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:53 AM   #8
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Yeah my friend is muslim and she says in her family it's perfectly normal marrying a cousin.. sure there is a percentage that the baby will end up retarded.... but i guess it's love?
But most of them were arranged marriages.
Even people with wealth married their cousins suchs as the egyptians (who can also mmarry their siblings o.o) Some marry for the sake of keeping their wealth instead of bring someone else in with no money. And even in Englan Monarchy there were many marriages between cousins... thets why they kinda ended up with hereditory (sp? I'm not sure if this was the right word...) diseases ( diseases caused by marrying a relative.)
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:55 AM   #9
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

You're not supposed to be in relationships with family members. There is a reason most people get into relationship with other people. If people find out about your friend, they probably will tear him a new one. I wouldn't, but it's just wrong. The creepiness is the main thing, but it just makes sense when you think more about it. Most people would agree. I guess it could be different in some cultures, but it's weird in ours.
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:57 AM   #10
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

that's like on drawn together when captain hero and his sister had a baby 0_o

other than the creepiness factor there are more medical problems that arise
most can be demonstrated in the older royal families that wanted to keep the royal bloodline in the family so they were all inbred and such
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Old 04-19-2007, 12:58 AM   #11
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Some people also find out that that they are cousins... eventhough they are already married.
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:00 AM   #12
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

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Originally Posted by FaintScent View Post
Some people also find out that that they are cousins... eventhough they are already married.
Seems like that would be awkward. Even so, medical and moral issues are the main factors at play here.
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:06 AM   #13
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

This issue seems kinda complex if you ask me. You can't really say "that's gross because they're related!" because we're all related way deep down. That sounds like a stretch, but... cousins are already better than siblings, but better than cousins would be second-cousins... and so on. How do you know where to draw the line on what is acceptable? Once you get down to your fourth-cousin it's suddenly alright?

The main problem seems to be how you knew the person growing up. If the two were close like siblings, it's weird to us. But what if the two cousins were separated early on and never knew each other until meeting by chance years later, and then falling in love? How are we to say it's wrong, when it lacks that "gross" element of the familial relationship?

I agree that my first instinct is that it's wrong, but I think it's worth inspecting our reasons for such instincts.
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:07 AM   #14
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

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Originally Posted by AriesMalvis View Post
that's like on drawn together when captain hero and his sister had a baby 0_o

other than the creepiness factor there are more medical problems that arise
most can be demonstrated in the older royal families that wanted to keep the royal bloodline in the family so they were all inbred and such
Well, I think they got the disease (Hemophilia) because they were reaaally inbred throughout the generations, not just a one time thing with a cousin. But now that I think about, if it truly is the medical problem of having an abnormal child, then how come hemophiliac women are allowed to get married and have children even though there is a 50% chance of passing it on to their child? Don't children born from cousins only have around a 2.5-4% additional chance of abnormalities than do 'normal' children?

There are many more diseases that seem to have a larger chance of producing an unhealthy child than first cousins getting it on, so why is it legal for people with those diseases to have children and get married, but not first cousins, second, or so on?

Last edited by chaoticblue; 04-19-2007 at 01:09 AM..
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:11 AM   #15
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Well, as I recall, isn't the american phrase "Kissing cousins" referring to second cousins, on the grounds that at that point, you are genetically distant enough to have kids with basically no risk of genetic issues?

On the Six Degrees of Seperation front, you can connect yourself, by blood, to almost anybody to some extent, so theoretically there is a line whereupon it just shouldn't matter. My step-mother's parents found out after having been married, that they were something like third cousins once removed. I don't see such a distant link making any difference, especially if discovered after the fact.

That said, ew, gross, ick. Not something I am personally a proponant of, but if it is determined that biologically you're far enough apart that there's no particular risk to having kids, far be it from me to try and stop you.
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:17 AM   #16
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

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Well, as I recall, isn't the american phrase "Kissing cousins" referring to second cousins, on the grounds that at that point, you are genetically distant enough to have kids with basically no risk of genetic issues?

On the Six Degrees of Seperation front, you can connect yourself, by blood, to almost anybody to some extent, so theoretically there is a line whereupon it just shouldn't matter. My step-mother's parents found out after having been married, that they were something like third cousins once removed. I don't see such a distant link making any difference, especially if discovered after the fact.

That said, ew, gross, ick. Not something I am personally a proponant of, but if it is determined that biologically you're far enough apart that there's no particular risk to having kids, far be it from me to try and stop you.
But even if you are not biologically far enough apart, as first cousins there is around a 2.5 - 4% increase of risk compared to 'normal' couples. Even with this risk though, who are we to stop them?

I mean, to me love is love right? I really don't think that there should be a limit to love because well, life is short and you can die at any moment. Our purpose here on earth? I don't even know if we have one, so I figure I might as well enjoy everything that I can since there's no guarantee of an afterlife either. I mean as long as I'm not harming anyone else then I really don't think that there is anything I can't or won't do as long as I like it.

I just don't think it's very fair that if people found out about something like this, they probably really would tear my friend a new one and harrass him like there was no tomorrow. Why would people actively try and prevent two people from attaining happiness?
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:20 AM   #17
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Hmm this topic reminds me of that episode on house...
A highschool dropout couple elope together, the woman gets sick and it in serious pain in the brain. After many trials of what's causing it, they find out that they are both half brother and sister. Their father had an affair with her mother. The reason the couple eloped together was because the father never approved of them and abused them (mainly the man). The father was a drunk aswell... But anyways yes, they both ended up geting sick from eachother because of that... it's kinda sad.. they were really inlove... the woman couldn't accept the fact that she was realted to the love of her life...
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:22 AM   #18
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

Huh? How'd they end up getting sick by being together?
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:35 AM   #19
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

I think the main reason people consider blood relative (in this case cousins) dating as wrong is just the "creepy" factor that was instilled into them throughout the beginning of their life. I mean, if you're told "that's gross" every time a particular subject is brought up for the first ~18 years of your life, chances are you will think it's gross.

For the sake of comparison, think of slavery. There was no real reason to the whole "Black people are inferior to white people" mentality, yet people spent their life defending the concept of slavery. Why? Well, chances are that for their whole life they were taught the very thing, and so they believed it.

I believe this is of the same concept. In my opinion, none of the medical reasoning behind the concept is strong enough to disallow marriages within blood (cousins in particular), yet we hold tightly to that 2.5%-4% because that's what we've been raised with.

This, however, is where slavery and marriage to cousins split. The former affected a whole race, and therefore there were eventually enough people to break the concept and force people to accept that their perspective was a flawed one. With the latter there aren't enough people affected to cause any widespread change, therefore we seem to be stuck with "ew....that's creepy."
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Old 04-19-2007, 01:38 AM   #20
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Default Re: Romantic relationships with cousins, creepy?

That's true, but that 2.5 - 4% thing was fairly recent, some time after year 2000 I think. Before people used to think the percentage was up in the fifties or it was almost a certain thing that your kid would be retarded if you had it with a cousin. the 2.5 - 4% thing was meant to debunk the myth, but unfortunately who goes around looking for these kinds of statistics anyways? Most people don't have a reason to, so as you said, they stuck with the "ew.... that's creepy."
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