Am I dying? Redux!

MalReynolds · 01-23-2006, 10:50 AM

So today was the day of my fateful doctors appointment with Mikhail Fuks PhD. I called last week, got my insurance cleared with the office, and set an appointment for today at 11:30. I walk down the street to the office.

I enter the building, step into the elevator and go up. I say hello to the receptionist and hand over my insurance card and drivers lisence.

"This does not look like real insurance card."

"Uh... It is. You can call them. I checked on the phone, remember?"

"Hokay. Fill this out."

Filled out some forms and the doctor came out and called me back into his office.

"Chello, Michael." He's got a thick russian accent. Half of the degrees on his wall are from Russia.

"Hello, Doctor."

"Does your family have any history of cancer, etc etc."

"Diabetes on both sides."

"Alright. Are you sexually active."

"With myself, yes."

"Masturbation?"

"Yes."

"So, I don't need to check for-"

"No."

"Alright. Follow me."

I go to the examitation room, do the height/weight thing and sit down on the table. The doctor begins to take my blood pressure when the receptionist comes through the back.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, doctor, but his insurance is no good here."

"I checked!"

"So did I, and they said it was a local thing in Virginia. Are you from Virginia?"

"Yes."

There was an awkaward pause.

"Alright, well, thanks then. Bye."

"Well, Michael, from what you say, I was ready to do full blood workup, EKG and test for various diseases... But that would cost you a lot of money. I'm very sorry."

"Yeah. Me too. Bye."

My last words going out of the office were, "This sucks."

Diagnosis: NO ONE KNOWS YET GODAMMIT.

Mal

super-smashman · 01-23-2006, 10:52 AM

Move to Canada.

Tps222 · 01-23-2006, 12:43 PM

Another reason as to why I hate living in New York.

Keep us updated.

Lightknight924 · 01-23-2006, 12:46 PM

Wow that's retarded, you should still get diagnosed first. Since when does money come first over people's lives or health?

**FishFishRevolution** · 01-23-2006, 12:53 PM

AHHHHH MAL I HATE YOUR CLIFFHANGERS

mead1 · 01-23-2006, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightknight924

Wow that's retarded, you should still get diagnosed first. Since when does money come first over people's lives or health?

Welcome to the world.

Tps222 · 01-23-2006, 01:02 PM

You've seen John Q silly.

I just hope Mal doesn't hold up a hospital with a gun.

You don't get any benefits from where you work? Crappy comedy club that is.

Tasuke · 01-23-2006, 01:05 PM

Go to an animal hospital just to fsck with their heads

**xObserveRx** · 01-23-2006, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mead1

Lightknight924 wrote:
Wow that's retarded, you should still get diagnosed first. Since when does money come first over people's lives or health?

Welcome to the world.

Er... Canada's different. Life saving stuff is free... Cosmetic stuff costs money; or at least that's how it is in Ontario.

There are certain fees for staying IN the hospital, but if you're dying and you need some emergency surgery or something... you're good. You always get to see doctors for free. Prescriptions cost money, but the visit and the diagnosis (including blood tests and EKGs) is free.

TheRaiRaiEatsBalloons · 01-23-2006, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xObserveRx

Er... Canada's different. Life saving stuff is free... Cosmetic stuff costs money; or at least that's how it is in Ontario.

There are certain fees for staying IN the hospital, but if you're dying and you need some emergency surgery or something... you're good. You always get to see doctors for free. Prescriptions cost money, but the visit and the diagnosis (including blood tests and EKGs) is free.

Which is how it really fucking needs to be everywhere.

**xObserveRx** · 01-23-2006, 02:29 PM

amen to that.

super-smashman · 01-23-2006, 02:41 PM

I can't imagine living somewhere where your right to live depends directly on the amount of money you make.

Grandiagod · 01-23-2006, 02:45 PM

Cut open your chest and check for yourself.
I love being helpful.

The_Q · 01-23-2006, 02:51 PM

You might wanna pray to Buddha for better insurance.

Q

MalReynolds · 01-23-2006, 02:55 PM

"Dear Buddah, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket. Oh, and insurance that is good outside the state of VA."

Mal

FluorescentArmy · 01-23-2006, 02:57 PM

Insurance is gay. Why would they even start the check up without knowing you had acceptable insurance?

MalReynolds · 01-23-2006, 03:05 PM

Because it was my appointment time and I was positive my insurance worked. It wasn't a checkup, either, it was a diagnosis

Bah.

Mal

**xObserveRx** · 01-23-2006, 03:06 PM

just call it an "appointment" for general purposes... it's easier that way. Less confusion, same shitty result...

honestly, this is a fact about America I've known for awhile now, but it still never ceases to amaze me. Talk about the rich get richer and the poor fucking die... America's going to hell...

MalReynolds · 01-23-2006, 03:13 PM

Despite the insurance snafu, I still enjoy living here. I don't think it's going to hell... After Bush, there's really only one way the country can go.

Mal

**xObserveRx** · 01-23-2006, 03:16 PM

Straight into Space?!

01-23-2006, 10:50 AM	#1
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	Am I dying? Redux! So today was the day of my fateful doctors appointment with Mikhail Fuks PhD. I called last week, got my insurance cleared with the office, and set an appointment for today at 11:30. I walk down the street to the office. I enter the building, step into the elevator and go up. I say hello to the receptionist and hand over my insurance card and drivers lisence. "This does not look like real insurance card." "Uh... It is. You can call them. I checked on the phone, remember?" "Hokay. Fill this out." Filled out some forms and the doctor came out and called me back into his office. "Chello, Michael." He's got a thick russian accent. Half of the degrees on his wall are from Russia. "Hello, Doctor." "Does your family have any history of cancer, etc etc." "Diabetes on both sides." "Alright. Are you sexually active." "With myself, yes." "Masturbation?" "Yes." "So, I don't need to check for-" "No." "Alright. Follow me." I go to the examitation room, do the height/weight thing and sit down on the table. The doctor begins to take my blood pressure when the receptionist comes through the back. "I'm sorry to interrupt, doctor, but his insurance is no good here." "I checked!" "So did I, and they said it was a local thing in Virginia. Are you from Virginia?" "Yes." There was an awkaward pause. "Alright, well, thanks then. Bye." "Well, Michael, from what you say, I was ready to do full blood workup, EKG and test for various diseases... But that would cost you a lot of money. I'm very sorry." "Yeah. Me too. Bye." My last words going out of the office were, "This sucks." Diagnosis: NO ONE KNOWS YET GODAMMIT. Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

01-23-2006, 10:52 AM	#2
super-smashman FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: No, I tacol. Age: 36 Posts: 2,638	RE: Am I dying? Redux! Move to Canada. __________________

01-23-2006, 12:43 PM	#3
Tps222 FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Age: 35 Posts: 6,168	RE: Am I dying? Redux! Another reason as to why I hate living in New York. Keep us updated.

01-23-2006, 12:46 PM	#4
Lightknight924 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New York Age: 33 Posts: 1,164	RE: Am I dying? Redux! Wow that's retarded, you should still get diagnosed first. Since when does money come first over people's lives or health?

01-23-2006, 12:53 PM	#5
FishFishRevolution GotR Creator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Vi sitter här i venten Current Band: The National Age: 38 Posts: 7,251	RE: Am I dying? Redux! AHHHHH MAL I HATE YOUR CLIFFHANGERS __________________

01-23-2006, 01:02 PM	#7
Tps222 FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Age: 35 Posts: 6,168	RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! You've seen John Q silly. I just hope Mal doesn't hold up a hospital with a gun. You don't get any benefits from where you work? Crappy comedy club that is.

01-23-2006, 01:05 PM	#8
Tasuke FFR Player Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: where ever you aren't Age: 35 Posts: 1,671	RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Go to an animal hospital just to fsck with their heads __________________

01-23-2006, 02:29 PM	#11
xObserveRx FFR Simfile Author Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ontario Age: 43 Posts: 1,148	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! amen to that. __________________ Come Play The Werewolf Game!

01-23-2006, 02:41 PM	#12
super-smashman FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: No, I tacol. Age: 36 Posts: 2,638	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! I can't imagine living somewhere where your right to live depends directly on the amount of money you make. __________________

01-23-2006, 02:45 PM	#13
Grandiagod FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Feaefaw Age: 37 Posts: 6,122	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Cut open your chest and check for yourself. I love being helpful. __________________ He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny

01-23-2006, 02:51 PM	#14
The_Q FFR Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Columbus, OH Age: 36 Posts: 4,391	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! You might wanna pray to Buddha for better insurance. Q

01-23-2006, 02:55 PM	#15
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! "Dear Buddah, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket. Oh, and insurance that is good outside the state of VA." Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

01-23-2006, 02:57 PM	#16
FluorescentArmy Forum User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Gattrobe, Pistolvania Age: 34 Posts: 1,754	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Insurance is gay. Why would they even start the check up without knowing you had acceptable insurance? __________________

01-23-2006, 03:05 PM	#17
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Because it was my appointment time and I was positive my insurance worked. It wasn't a checkup, either, it was a diagnosis Bah. Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

01-23-2006, 03:06 PM	#18
xObserveRx FFR Simfile Author Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ontario Age: 43 Posts: 1,148	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! just call it an "appointment" for general purposes... it's easier that way. Less confusion, same shitty result... honestly, this is a fact about America I've known for awhile now, but it still never ceases to amaze me. Talk about the rich get richer and the poor fucking die... America's going to hell... __________________ Come Play The Werewolf Game!

01-23-2006, 03:13 PM	#19
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Despite the insurance snafu, I still enjoy living here. I don't think it's going to hell... After Bush, there's really only one way the country can go. Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

01-23-2006, 03:16 PM	#20
xObserveRx FFR Simfile Author Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ontario Age: 43 Posts: 1,148	RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Am I dying? Redux! Straight into Space?! __________________ Come Play The Werewolf Game!

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