Lord of War *spoilers*

**Tasselfoot** · 09-23-2005, 06:34 PM

Ok, so I love Nicholas Cage. Not in the "I want to have him rape my rectum," love. Instead, the "I greatly enjoy his acting and choice of screenplays," love. 8mm excluded. Maybe Snake Eyes too.

Anyway... Lord of War: I had good expectations considering its Nick Cage + guns. How can they go wrong? Right? Wrong.

Lets get this straight... Nick Cage's acting was the one good spot of this movie. His normal charm and idosyncratic behaviors were shown in this flick and his ability to display them was probably a strong reason for his choosing to star in LoW.

His wife in the flick, whose name I do not know, is supposed to be a model. She looks great in the ads they keep showing of her (in the movie, not in trailers), but once they are married, she looks like any other run of the mill Hollywood actress. Nothing special. Well, except HER acting... which was fairly bad.

Combine that with the fact that I was expecting a movie that had a plot. I was sorely mistaken. In place of a plot, I was given Nick Cage narrating his life, from 1982 til 2001 or so. Interesting, yes. Worthy of a biography in quasi-novel format, yes. Right for a 2 hour movie? debatable.

As said at the end of the movie, this flick was "based on true events." Well, no shit. Clearly they aren't going to give us all of these times and dates without some form or basis of reality. Again, good for a biography, as the story is decently interesting... but NOT worthy of being a plot, nor a movie.

I watched the opening credits and said to myself, "this is interesting... I don't know the production company or any of the companies they work with. I'm not sure what to make of that." Well, now I know. It means the movie is going to be less than I expected. I won't say it sucked... because that is what Corpse Bride did. It was just alot less than I expected it to be. A movie like LoW needs a plot. This didn't have one.

That and his brother annoyed me throughout the whole flick.

Omeganitros · 09-23-2005, 07:13 PM

Actually, I appreciate your review. Now I won't be seeing the movie, and I've saved myself some good money.

**Tasselfoot** · 09-23-2005, 07:42 PM

So what was the point of the batman comic again?

MalReynolds · 09-23-2005, 11:08 PM

I laughed at it, and it really made me not think about how little his post contained.

Mal

PS: DIVERSION!

Omeganitros · 09-24-2005, 10:40 AM

Curse you, Mal! My plans are foiled again!

09-23-2005, 06:34 PM	#1
Tasselfoot Retired BOSS Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Widget Heaven Age: 40 Posts: 25,184	Lord of War spoilers Ok, so I love Nicholas Cage. Not in the "I want to have him rape my rectum," love. Instead, the "I greatly enjoy his acting and choice of screenplays," love. 8mm excluded. Maybe Snake Eyes too. Anyway... Lord of War: I had good expectations considering its Nick Cage + guns. How can they go wrong? Right? Wrong. Lets get this straight... Nick Cage's acting was the one good spot of this movie. His normal charm and idosyncratic behaviors were shown in this flick and his ability to display them was probably a strong reason for his choosing to star in LoW. His wife in the flick, whose name I do not know, is supposed to be a model. She looks great in the ads they keep showing of her (in the movie, not in trailers), but once they are married, she looks like any other run of the mill Hollywood actress. Nothing special. Well, except HER acting... which was fairly bad. Combine that with the fact that I was expecting a movie that had a plot. I was sorely mistaken. In place of a plot, I was given Nick Cage narrating his life, from 1982 til 2001 or so. Interesting, yes. Worthy of a biography in quasi-novel format, yes. Right for a 2 hour movie? debatable. As said at the end of the movie, this flick was "based on true events." Well, no shit. Clearly they aren't going to give us all of these times and dates without some form or basis of reality. Again, good for a biography, as the story is decently interesting... but NOT worthy of being a plot, nor a movie. I watched the opening credits and said to myself, "this is interesting... I don't know the production company or any of the companies they work with. I'm not sure what to make of that." Well, now I know. It means the movie is going to be less than I expected. I won't say it sucked... because that is what Corpse Bride did. It was just alot less than I expected it to be. A movie like LoW needs a plot. This didn't have one. That and his brother annoyed me throughout the whole flick. __________________ RIP

09-23-2005, 07:13 PM	#2
Omeganitros auauauau Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hee-Haw! Age: 35 Posts: 8,897	RE: Lord of War spoilers Actually, I appreciate your review. Now I won't be seeing the movie, and I've saved myself some good money.

09-23-2005, 07:42 PM	#3
Tasselfoot Retired BOSS Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Widget Heaven Age: 40 Posts: 25,184	RE: Lord of War spoilers So what was the point of the batman comic again? __________________ RIP

09-23-2005, 11:08 PM	#4
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 36 Posts: 6,571	RE: Lord of War spoilers I laughed at it, and it really made me not think about how little his post contained. Mal PS: DIVERSION! __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

09-24-2005, 10:40 AM	#5
Omeganitros auauauau Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hee-Haw! Age: 35 Posts: 8,897	RE: Lord of War spoilers Curse you, Mal! My plans are foiled again!

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