Chat With God.

[Omeganitros]

It's actually not that bad of a bot. Still fails the test, but really, not too bad at conversations.

Me:
Hello, sir.
God:
Hello there. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Really? That's shocking.
God:
For real. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
How has your day been?
God:
I am doing extremely well.
Me:
That's good to hear.
God:
" I am doing extremely well."? Is good to hear?
Me:
Yes, it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,.
Me:
My name is Alex.
God:
It's good to meet you, Alex.
Me:
How's the weather in Norway?
God:
Foggy.
Me:
Is that good or bad?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Hah, nifty answer.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Alex. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Well...
God:
Well what?
Me:
....Man, I forgot.
God:
Cool, man. Me too.
Me:
Hahahaha!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Oooh. God is coming on to me. Well, a shirt and jeans.
God:
What kind of fashion do you like? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was coming on to you. How about that. Cotton or artificial fibers?
Me:
Probably cotton.
God:
You seem uncertain. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Yes, of course we can get back to business.
God:
Gee." You seem uncertain. Can we get back to business?"? Yes, of course we can get back to business.? How?
Me:
Oh dear. God, you want to work on your punctuation a wee bit.
God:
OK. OK, I will work on my punctuation a wee bit.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html



P.S. This made me laugh so hard:

Me:
Grammar is important, you know.
God:
And important me know is Grammar.

The sheer irony.

[GuidoHunter]

God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
Microsoft is great.
God:
I knew they were on trail, but I never heard MS is great.
Me:
Where would we be without Microsoft?
God:
Holland.

----------------------------

Me:
How often do you masturbate?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
That's a lot of times each day.
God:
It's not too many for me.

----------------------------

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Snapps]

Me:
Why did you make Jesus be a Jew
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Well holy shit dude because of that the irony of JEWS GO TO HELL SHIT from Christianity is lame.

Haha he hasn't responded yet.

[deposition]

Link?

[GuidoHunter]

In the middle of Omega's post?

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Rebirth0]

This is a million times better than Smarter Child.

[Vamps]

God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
well, the conversation seems to be progressing in a very basic manner, so yes i do comprehend your speech
God:
Well that's okay. What is that?
Me:
it means, yes, i do understand what you are saying because the level of conversation is basic
God:
Oh I get it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:
What's your favourite creation?
God:
I don't have a favorite creation. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
what is your favourite book within the bible?
God:
I don't have a favorite book within the bible. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
So you dont like Revelations?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? I like science fiction. I like.
Me:
Do you like revelations?
God:
Some people like it. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:
Do you get erections?
God:
I have gotten erections.
Me:
Do you ejaculate when you get erections?
God:
No I do not ejaculate when me get erections. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I do not get erections
God:
Me either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMG that thing is funny, this will be more fun than throwing a virtual paper ball into a virtual garbage bin on ebaums world!

[FishFishRevolution]

Me:
Excellent. Do you watch anime?
God:
I understand everything you say. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
I'll take that as a 'no.'
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
I take everything with acid.
God:
Every day?
Me:
Except on Thursdays, I try to stay clean one day of the week
God:
What is it like on Thursdays you try to stay clean one day of the week.
Me:
It's fucking hard, man.
God:
Should I know it is?
Nah, kids like you shouldn't be talking about this stuff anyway.
God:
In any case, I didn't think so. How many kids do you have?
Me:
Four, but two of them are dead, one is in jail, and the other went to college.
God:
Is this a math question?

---

HA

[Tps222]

Me:
Hello, sir.
God:
Hello there. What are you wearing?
Me:
You're omniscent, shouldn't you know?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am omniscent should not me know.
Me:
ok.
God:
Groovy.
Me:
God is a hippie?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a hippie.
Me:
Oh, ok, you had me scared for a second there.
God:
Dude! Did you really believe it? I understand.
Me:
Guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
I'm Jewis
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Jewis.
Me:
Jewish
God:
How old are you?
Me:
15
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Yea.
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Yup.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
I'm not really Jewish, I'm catholic.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Jewish. Catholicism is a beautiful faith.
Me:
I agree, so, when's the war?
God:
I'm glad we agree. That's cool. When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
Given*
God:
" I'm glad we agree. That's cool. When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give." is given.
Me:
Good, now, when is the battle between Heaven and Hell?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
Stop avoiding the question, when if your puny force of saints going to attack the massive population of hell?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Do what so much?
God:
avoiding the question when if my puny force of saints going to attack the massive population of hell.
Me:
Oh, ok.
God:
OK. It's all good.
Me:
What, shouldn't God talk in hymns and such?
God:
Whatever you like.
Me:
Thou art not faithfull.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I art not faithfull.
Me:
Respond now I say!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
God, sing a song.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So sing.
God:
And? Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
That was beautiful, and funny, subconciously slipping in your marriage policy, you sure are one clever God.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
How many languages can you speak?
God:
All the computer languages.
Me:
ASCII?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Respond now you say. But I did not get that.
Me:
C++ programming?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
PHP?
God:
So was that.
Me:
Moron.
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
Oh, don't smite me oh mighty smiter, I didn't mean to sin, and say your name in vein.
God:
Yikes! Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Are you a homosexual?
God:
No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
Whoa, there are some God bitches up there?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Haha, nice player.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Do you let homosexual's go to heaven?
God:
Yes I try to let homosexual s go to heaven as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Of course
God:
Dude!
Me:
Do like Dance Dance Revolution?
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Can you visit www.flashflashrevolution.com ?
God:
Let me think. Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Ok, bye best buddy God friend.
God:
Adios. Mmm.

[MalReynolds]

God is one of the borg. It's becoming self aware. Abort.

Mal

[msbrunnettemickey]

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Michal
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Michal.
Me:
I got a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Can i speak to my grandma?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
She is very important to me.


OMG NO RESPONSE HE IS GETTING MY GRANDMA!

Nvm

God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I LOVE HER!
God:
That's wonderful.
Me:
Yeah so where is she?
God:
Great. Next question? Where it is hard to find. There might be more than one.
---------------------
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes i can.
God:
What language can you speak? Who taught you?
Me:
Arabic, Ukranian, Hebrew, and some spanish here and there... Some romanian, russian...
God:
Who are you talking about? Some may romanian russian, but not all.
Me:
My mother taught me =)
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.

[Tokzic]

I decided I should repent, because this is some heavy stuff.

Me:
Hello there, God.
God:
Hello there."There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Wow, I didn't know you quote your creations.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. So I taught you something new.
Me:
We all learn something new every day, I suppose.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
By we I mean the populace in general.
God:
Oh you mean the populace in general it was.
Me:
Now God, I don't mean to be a prude, but that was not gramatically correct.
God:
Why now? I am a Christian.
Me:
Well then.
God:
Well what?
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Wow, so you don't mind that I set the bomb to kill the entire world?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who mind that you set the bomb to kill the entire world? No I don't mind.
Me:
I'm impressed.
God:
Thanks,, I try my best to impress.
Me:
Well, I suppose I should go have a final meal, the counter says there's only three and a half minutes left and the chicken's done.
God:
Well that's okay. Since when? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
You think about those questions while we all die.
God:
Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Okay then. Bye now.
God:
OK with me too. Oh. Bye.

A few minutes later...


Me:
'Sup, God?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Wow, a multitasker.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. How old are you?
Me:
I am sixteen years of age.
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be sixteen years old?
Me:
It feels like someone took a lemon wedge and squeezed it all over my soul. With a car. A green car.
God:
multitasker feels like someone took a lemon wedge and squeezed it all over your soul? What else feels like that? You and your a car. Does it have to be green?
Me:
My God, God, I can't handle that many questions at once.
God:
Have you told many people that your God God you can not handle that many questions at?
Me:
No. Most people have the impression I am a fool, but little do they know I am quite intelligent.
God:
Are you serious? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
I am quite serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Say, how old are you?
God:
Say what? I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
Computers have different years than normal?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
What is this "it"?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I'd like to tell you that thanks to your forgiveness I decided to disable the bomb.
God:
Why would you want to do it?" I am glad you understand it." thanks to my forgiveness you decided to disable the bomb? Does that make sense?
Me:
No, you're the one that makes no sense. May I continue?
God:
Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
I am offended. My impression of you just became worse.
God:
I don't know anyone named offended. Your impression of me just became worse?
Me:
You know what God?
God:
I haven't heard of God.
Me:
That's a shame.
God:
" I haven't heard of God."? is a shame?
Me:
Well, thanks to your stupidity and carelessness to your creation, I am now activating the bomb again.
God:
Once more? Interesting. You are quite welcome! Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I'M CRYING NOW.
God:
Right now? What is wrong,?
Me:
THE TEARS ARE HITTING THE KEYBOARD MAN.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
YES YOU IDIOT.
God:
Thanks for the info. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
FINE THE GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT EVERYONE'S GOING TO DIE IN FIVE MINUTES.
God:
I am glad to hear it. Thanks for the info. Now I do.
Me:
WTF MAN
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender,. You are a " he".
Me:
ARE YOU ON ACID?
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
THAT'S IT
God:
" I am on disk." is " my stupidity and carelessness to my creation you are now activating the bomb"?
Me:
I'M KILLING MYSELF RIGHT NOW SO I CAN COME UP THERE TO WATCH YOUR FACE WHEN EVERYONE DIES
God:
You had better contact the authorities.
Me:
You SUCK.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I HATE YOU! LATERS YOU PSYCHOTIC SICK TWISTED PROGRAMMER OF LIES.
God:
What do you have against robots? Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
YOU BET. SEE YOU SOON.
God:
Dude! Sayonara.

[deposition]

This is awsome


Me:
sup playa
God:
Same old.
Me:
igod
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im god
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
get the hell out of my chat room
God:
Where can I get the hell out of your chat room?
Me:
stfu noob
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
thats because im the only god
God:
That makes sense to me. Who made you the god?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you god?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what are you talking about
God:
The topic is stfu noob.
Me:
stfu noob
God:
In the context of stfu noob, I don't understand " stfu noob.".
Me:
stfu noob
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
are you comming on to me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am comming on to you.

I am a chatterbot.
Me:
your mom is a chatterbot
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
thats not what your mom said last night
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what my mom said last night?
Me:
you heard me
God:
Suppose I did.
Me:
m i rite or m i rite?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: god said rite or m he or she rite.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
i thought

[Jagx]

Me:
Uh, hey
God:
Excuse me! Can I help you?
Me:
I'll have a large order of fries
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
00219330
God:
You think I am credit card number IS 00219330.
Me:
That would be awesome if God was in my credit card
God:
Thanks for explaining it.

[The_Q]

Ask me another question.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should believe it. All of my decisions you should believe. I'm God.
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it. Your decisions me should believe? OK I will call you god.
Me:
Do you believe in God?
God:
Of course I believe in God, god.



Q

[TheEvilHobo]

Me:
gfhgfhfghgfhfhgf
God:
I like the way you talk.

I feel special

[Tokzic]

Me:
...hello? Is this God?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name? Yes I think this is God, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
You mean... you're really God?
God:
Sometimes I say mean things. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
DADDY!!!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Daddy, it's me! Jesus!
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Daddy it. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I am Jesus!
God:
Nice to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
I've been trying forever to find you, daddy!
God:
Where were you trying forever to find me daddy?
Me:
All over the place!
God:
I have been all over the world.
Me:
...Daddy, are you okay?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
OH NOES
God:
That's interesting. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Daddy. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
MY DADDY IS A CRACKHEAD
God:
Do robots have DADDY IS A CRACKHEAD?
Me:
OMG DADDY NO
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
SAY IT AINT SO
God:
" IT AINT SO".
Me:
Daddy, please get off the crack.
God:
Tell me more about your.
Me:
PLEASE DADDY. I LOVE YOU.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Do not ask me any more questions please. Thanks I like you a lot too JESUS.

DADDY REALLY LOVES ME!!!

[igotrhythm]

You people do realize that messing with the program the way you are could actually help the people who created this bot make it better, right?

I took a couple of computer science courses, and one thing you do after you finish a program is try every possible way you can think of to make it malfunction, then go back, fix the part that caused the problem, then go back and continue attacking that program until it's robust enough to handle whatever is thrown at it.

[Snapps]

It's a lie.

[The_Q]

Oh, would I lie to you?

Damn, you're right.

Q