Would you rather your daughter be a "tomboy" or your son be a "sissy".

[Rubin0]

This was kind of inspired by the "Is being gay wrong" topic. I've taken a few gender classes and through general observations it seems to me that a masculine woman is much less stigmatized than a feminine man. I think the obvious answer for most people would be that they would prefer a tomboy for a daughter, but I'm not sure many people have wondered why.

What do you think is stranger: Girl playing with a fire truck or a boy playing with a Barbie doll? Why?


Any thoughts?

*Edit* Also, I want to point out that I don't use the word "sissy" in every day life, but just thought I would use the derogatory word used for feminine men to make the post eye catching.

[Izzy]

The only reason girls like crap like barbie dolls is because of social expectations and the media. I'm sorry but girly girls are just idiots that fell into a trap of expectation. I think the same can be said about really masculine men. So my answer is both are fine. Either of those things imply that the child is thinking for themselves and I support that.

Not that a really girly girl couldn't have decided she really did like what people consider to be girly, but the more and more extreme you get the less likely I believe it is. So it kind of turns into a bell curve. All of the people in the middle are fine.

[Rubin0]

I just went to go hit the "like" button and realized I wasn't on facebook.

[BabyViperx3]

My daughter plays with toy cars & what not. She's growing up around my little nephew who's 4. It's kind of a tough question. I wouldn't mind raising both, but I seem to lean more towards a boy who's a sissy. Idno why. But as for the question, I don't feel either is odd.

[phe0nixblade]

I think a boy being sissy is odd, I would much rather have a daughter be tomboyish.

[8 Hour Whore]

Tomboy for a girl..
Reason being.. Every parent worries about their children. When they are more fit to support themselves it's a bit of a lift.. Plus Emotional attachments aren't as strong when letting go.

[funmonkey54]

Seeing as how society is more accepting of tomboy girls and a tomboy girl is going to get less harassment about their sexuality than an effeminate male, I'll take a tomboy girl for my child's sake.

[BethanyBangs]

Tomboy. Because i was one. and still am. just my looks changed. xD

[xealix]

Tomboy for previously stated reasons.

[who_cares973]

agree with izzy

[D!LL]

Originally Posted by Izzy

The only reason girls like crap like barbie dolls is because of social expectations and the media. I'm sorry but girly girls are just idiots that fell into a trap of expectation. I think the same can be said about really masculine men. So my answer is both are fine. Either of those things imply that the child is thinking for themselves and I support that.

Not that a really girly girl couldn't have decided she really did like what people consider to be girly, but the more and more extreme you get the less likely I believe it is. So it kind of turns into a bell curve. All of the people in the middle are fine.

Interesting point brought up in this thread I think. -- I agree with Izzy. I wouldn't prefer any over the other because both are just fine and dandy for me. I'd rather my child be what he/she WANTS to be rather than what cultural expectations in society demand of him/her.

It's interesting how men acting effeminate is less acceptable than women acting masculine.

I think this is because we're both judged by our piers. Men are judged by men, and women by other women. (Generally.) I say this because that's sort of how we're raised. (For the most part). Boys are taught how to be a man by their fathers and girls are taught how to be a woman by their mothers. and of course it's not this black and white, but this is a majority in how our society has developed as whole.

Men are, in my opinion, a little less open minded when it comes to sexuality, and because of this it reflects on society's acceptance of either a tomboy or a girlyboy.

[rushyrulz]

I agree with fm54. Society is more accepting of a tomboy than a sissy, but I wouldn't mind either.

[Cavernio]

Unfortunately I'd probably have to say tomboy girl, but officially, I don't care either way :-p It also seems that people who consider themselves more feminine compared to masculin would say they'd prefer the girly boy.

I definitely think there is more of a stigma to being a girly boy, but I don't think its for the reasons Dill said. Its much more of a product of our times than our individual upbringings, or from who judges who. The feminist movement came and went, and from that, it became alright for a woman to be manly. I suspect there is a backlash to that, that men have then developed more 'manly' endeavors, in an attempt to retain their gender identity. (This speaking for north american society as a whole, not about every individual man who is manly.) Even if that is not the case though, men have not gone through any sort of social reformation so that they can be more womanly. The closest thing they seem to have is the gay movement, which definitely makes some men feel like they can be more womanly (think Gay Eye for the Straight Guy show), but again, I think there can be backlash, and its really not a 'men' movement.

Your first sentence threw me totally off Izzy, but your point makes sense. (How many video games do you play where you don't get to play dress-up with your character these days? Video games targeted at males let men 'play with barbies' these days.) But I also am much less concerned or even see 'just be yourself' as an issue for my peers...I really think that is an age difference thing...I cannot imagine the stress of having kids, working full-time, studying full-time, without allowing yourself to 'be yourself' so to speak. One has to be responsible and act accordingly so much of the time, that it'd be ludicrous to put on a show or 'try to fit in' during downtime. WHICH brings me to the ultimate point that I disagree with you, at least for an older group of people, although what you say makes sense from what I remember of my school years. Furthermore, I know people who adopt very specific gender roles specifically because they like sex and their lifestyle revolves around it, not for any other reason.

This of course opens the whole can of worms about people who feel they need to change their physical gender in order to 'be themselves'. How much of a role does society have on these people? If society were much more 'gender' neutral, if people felt like they didn't have to identify as being a man or a woman, do you think these people would still feel like they're the wrong sex? I suspect society has a large role in this, but I don't know anyone who fits this description to have any sort of personal knowledge either way. I know that a few decades ago, there were more men who felt like they were women but in a man's body, but that in the recent years (possibly due to bias in sampling in the past), the men/woman ration who feel like they are the wrong gender is smaller, something like 1.2.

[Cavernio]

I know, double post, but I'm not sure I'd like having a tomboy girl actually, at least not one who's into sports, seeing as I am completely not a sports fan.

[fido123]

I'd rather have a tomboy than a bitty girl, and a feminine guy than a macho douche-bag. If somebody is being true to themselves, and not just conforming to social norms (and I hate these social norms, as in the personalities), I'll probably get along with them.

[EnR]

Originally Posted by fido123

I'd rather have a tomboy than a bitty girl, and a feminine guy than a macho douche-bag. If somebody is being true to themselves, and not just conforming to social norms (and I hate these social norms, as in the personalities), I'll probably get along with them.

I'm basically same way here, I'd rather a feminine guy(not gay, but in touch with his feminine side) than some guy who thinks he's king **** and owns the place.

There's some chick at our school who went from dressing up girl, then started wearing black makeup and clothes and now she wears a hat backwards and huge sweaters with baggy ass jeans, she basically follows any group that accepts her and it's hilarious. She asked my GF if she wanted to go to a "screamo" concert but really it was a metal concert, she just has no idea about what trend she's following.

[fido123]

I don't think that's a tomboy rather than a girl trying to be "A HARDCOAR INDIVIDUAL"

[kmay]

umm I was a sissy boy... not exactly by choice because I didn't exactly have a Dad. It was really hard growing up. I'd definitely pick the tomboy.

[Kage06]

I'm not exactly masculine as in the stereotypical bloke, and I'm not girly either, but I'm not your average typical guy, and I think that's a good thing.

It is true that a tomboy would be more accepted in this society.

It really depends how you are brought up. As Kmay says, it depends who has raised you as well. You may grow to be different because of that.
If you have more sisters, as a boy growing up, you are going to learn ways different to how a guy/girl would living with the same sex from a young age, with both parents supporting them.

A lot develops and fast whilst you are young. A lot of what happens when you are young grows up with you, and stays with you.

I don't like football, and don't really watch any sport, but take part in some sports. Was this because I was brought up in a house where no one likes football, or doing much sport in general? Could very well be. Was it my choice? No, because it was never something I was interested in and never made the choice whether I would like it or not. It just happened that way.

I think some parents are scared their children are going to be gay, when it wouldn't change their overall sexuality traits.
Maybe gay girls are more accepted than gay guys as well in truth.

It could go back as far as when we first arrived on this earth. I doubt it would have seemed weird if a women was a lot more masculine in nature to be more protective to their families, etc

I like dancing games, like DDR/ITG and play them a lot. Does this make me "girly?" Some people would indeed say so (I've had so many people give me a weird look because a guys on the machines), and automatically think I'm gay because of it.
Do I care? No, because I know who I am inside

Sorry, I may have ranted on a bit

[Vendetta21]

I would rather my daughter be a tomboy because that means she's actively rebelling against being defined in a way that she doesn't want to be defined. But I wouldn't mind a son who was a sissy because it means that despite what everyone tells him to do he calmly just does his own thing.