Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

[Pseudo Enigma]

Originally Posted by devonin

If you refer to "adults" as something other than the group to which you, yourself belong, I'd argue that you pretty much -aren't- mature.

but not doing so doesn't guarantee you are mature either.

[ilikexd]

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl

What I'm irritated about is when adults expect other people to act in the way they believe to be mature, and they openly attack someone's self-esteem if he or she doesn't follow those unspoken rules.

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl

I believe everyone has their own right to act however they would like to act, provided the country's laws are not broken. I don't appreciate when people judge others who don't act how those people want them to act.

They have the right to judge you because the country's laws are not broken, right?

[Pseudo Enigma]

Originally Posted by KgZ

Guy. People who are older than you (commonly referred to adults) simply have more experience in life than you do. They've literally lived more days than you. That doesn't always mean they're right because they're older. But they have more experiences and stories to back up their moral claims. In the example of your response to Dev, you don't have to agree with him. It's probably worth listening to what he and other people older than you have to say though.

replying =/= not listening
I have read every response in this thread. My response to dev was mostly sarcasm. I don't disagree with what he said, but it sounded a bit conceited. His responses haven't been exactly helpful at looking at OP's problem either.

edit: actually, that's another thing. Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you. Sure there's preformed respect that comes with being older than me, but the other side has to also build up from there too. Being an adult doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and get away with it because of respect. In fact, it doesn't exactly install respect. If anything it takes away from it.

Call me a rebel.

[Tharringbone]

It is probably irritating to you because you are an immature little child.

[awein999]

There are misconceptions when it comes to immaturity and maturity. Maturity doesn't mean have no fun and never be silly, and likewise immature doesn't mean always be silly and never be serious. You can be maturely silly and immaturely serious. There could be aspects of yourself that are mature and others that aren't. It's not a blanket statement as to whether you are mature or immature. Many people use mature vs immature weapon of words to try to insult someone who deviates from the norm and get them to conform by making them feel insecure. Instances happen all the time by less mature people attacking more mature ones ironically calling said person immature. (age is irrelevant)

You have at least one immature trait if you have a warped view of reality, shallow beliefs, shallow wisdom, acting without thinking, more self-centered or self-humble than your reality calls for, or are emotionally unstable.
Usually it comes down to whether you are a realist or not with certain things probably.

I still think the way immaturity and maturity are used as blanket statements in society as a way to "act" is bogus though.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Originally Posted by KgZ

how about respecting everyone instead of proving their worth to you?

I just said I respect everyone. Once they do something that lessens themselves in front of me they lose that respect. It's not rocket science.

>FFR talking about maturity
it's funny in of itself.

also I think calling people immature isn't a very mature thing to do, either. Explicitly nor implicitly.

edit: KgZ I see where you're coming from, don't get me wrong. I just don't agree with it 100%.

[GuidoHunter]

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl

I sometimes become extremely irritated with other adults when they expect me or anyone else to be mature.

Adults looking out for the best interests of children who don't know any better? The outrage.

However, I detest when adults think the act of maturity is something that should be enforced.

Yeah, I mean who wants a productive society or anything?

Immaturity well into adulthood is a serious problem, so excuse us for trying to curb it.

The sanctimonious "Don't judge me!" attitude isn't helping your case, either.

--Guido

[dAnceguy117]

Originally Posted by Vendetta21

You may not always meet expectations because you are human and the expectations are beyond your capacity. Maturity is, in some sense, learning how to identify all the things expected of you, doing that which you can, and communicating clearly with others those expectations you feel can't meet. A lot of times the things you think are expected of you are malleable and sometimes your preconceived notions of your own capability are mistaken. This is where the communication element becomes critical.

perfectly describes what I've learned through some of my own failures in the last year.

[Crazyjayde]

I am more unnerved of the misconceptions that go along the idea of "becoming adult" upon age, where in fact it's more of a transition into maturity. Aging individuals often go along the concept of "tagging" someone by their acquired capabilities (read skills) or their age, when in fact, somebody's maturity is more often that not cultivated in wisdom. That, I think, had been more of an issue for people crossing the gap.

I could see myself more prone to understanding that. Your initial statement might need some rephrasing.

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by Pseudo Enigma

Just because you're older, doesn't mean I'm automatically going to respect you.

In general I agree with this. Being older is only an opportunity to become more mature, not a guarantee.

Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.

[Poison-]

Originally Posted by Izzy

Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.

Gender: Female ?

[Crazyjayde]

^ Confirmed

[Izzy]

That doesn't change much even if it is true. I don't think I'd easily believe someone that seems to lie about everything else.

[Crazyjayde]

The fact that you said this:

I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop

makes me think that you don't fully understand what an account worth a thousand of posts entails.
This thread is getting harsh.

[Izzy]

What are you implying it is worth? That doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Someone could easily be bored enough to spend the time messing with people.

[Crazyjayde]

I am implying it's enough dedication in this short time span to be clear about her genuine interest in this community.
Jesus, go ask her yourself.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Originally Posted by Dynam0

It's legal to wear one's pants below the normal belt line thereby exposing one's undergarments (boxers/briefs/thongs etc.), however this behaviour is classified as immature and frowned upon by adults. I'm immature as hell for a lot of things, but it's hard not to pass judgement on some behaviours when you see them. If this whole maturity debate is driven by opinion, then there isn't a right or wrong answer for what you're looking for. Adults expecting others to be mature is irritating to you because in your opinion, immature behaviours should not be scrutinized. These adults aren't wrong in their judgements and neither are you in being irritated by it

Thank you Dynam0, you helped me understand that I need to accept that some people are going to judge and/or insult me. I need to be able to take what others tell me with a grain of salt and follow my own beliefs.

Izzy, I couldn't care less what you think about me, but please don't derail this thread.

I understand that learning to act in the interest of society is helpful, but I think the way some people attack others' self-esteem and behavior is revolting. In my opinion, people who think it's their duty to judge and incriminate the immature actions of others are losing a huge sense of community. The very definition of maturity seems to be to act the way society expects others to while discouraging opinions and critical thought. If this kind of thinking continues, we might eventually turn into a society similar to the one depicted in the novel titled The Giver by Lois Lowry.

In this novel, no one has deep feelings for anyone else, and everyone is forced to conform to society. These people are discouraged from thinking for themselves and are told false information from their birth so that they can live in an ignorant Utopian society. They are told what to do, which job to adopt by the time they are 12-years-old, and even whether they are eligible to have children. Furthermore, if anyone tries to escape from the city they're imprisoned inside, they are killed without the escapee even knowing what death means, and mistakenly believe they will be transported to another place.

Is this really the life we are heading towards?

[Poison-]

Originally Posted by drizzleRomanceGirl

Thank you Dynam0, you helped me understand that I need to accept that some people are going to judge and/or insult me. I need to be able to take what others tell me with a grain of salt and follow my own beliefs.

Izzy, I couldn't care less what you think about me, but please don't derail this thread.

I understand that learning to act in the interest of society is helpful, but I think the way some people attack others' self-esteem and behavior is revolting. In my opinion, people who think it's their duty to judge and incriminate the immature actions of others are losing a huge sense of community. The very definition of maturity seems to be to act the way society expects others to while discouraging opinions and critical thought. If this kind of thinking continues, we might eventually turn into a society similar to the one depicted in the novel titled The Giver by Lois Lowry.

In this novel, no one has deep feelings for anyone else, and everyone is forced to conform to society. These people are discouraged from thinking for themselves and are told false information from their birth so that they can live in an ignorant Utopian society. They are told what to do, which job to adopt by the time they are 12-years-old, and even whether they are eligible to have children. Furthermore, if anyone tries to escape from the city they're imprisoned inside, they are killed without the escapee even knowing what death means, and mistakenly believe they will be transported to another place.

Is this really the life we are heading towards?

No it is not

[reuben_tate]

You have to realize though that you do in fact live in a society. Sure, everyone could be like "lol, screw everyone else, I'm gonna do whatever I want" but that doesn't make for a productive society. A lot of the social norms however just make sense. For example, if you agreed to meet your friend in 5 minutes, acting like "oh, the law doesn't say I have to meet my friend on time" is a poor excuse for being 3 hours late. Many of the social constructs are put in place because their reasoning is based on the consideration of others (sometimes even including yourself). Other social norms may seem ridiculous or obscure but give them a chance to think about why they exist in the first place.

Also, just putting it out their, if adjusting to social norms and being mature is an exhausting activity in itself, then spend more time with friends; when you're good friends with someone, over time you build up a mutual understanding of what actions are tolerable :P

[devonin]

I just don't understand how 'maturity' is supposed to somehow be mutually exclusive from doing fun things, or having 'childish' hobbies.

I'm mature. I run a business, I have meetings, I wear suits and ties now and then and have grown up talk with the other grownups, and then I read sci-fi/fantasy, play Magic and D&D and World of Warcraft and go to gaming conventions.

Maturity is not about "someone not having to babysit you" it is about you meeting your end of the deal for living in a society. At a certain point, the adults who labour and provide things for everybody say "Okay, we've given you enough, now you have to start earning it." And you need to start earning it.

Does that mean they are trying to "force" you to be mature? No, they're calling in a debt you put yourself into when you let your parents feed and clothe you for your childhood and adolescence.

Does that mean you must be universally "A grown up" and forever completely stoic and independent? Of course not. You just have certain obligations you need to meet first.