The Dreams of Xiz

[Xiz]

12/11/2012: All I remember was memories were stored as little computer chips, and I remember looking into a bin full of them, being one person. Each memory was good, and bad. It was inhumane I thought. The scientist there said if I told anyone about it, I would die. I then found myself playing basketball with Lebron James, but he wouldn't let me win so I pushed him down a flight of stairs.

12/12/2012: Okay so imagine a peanutbutter monster. Like, made out of peanutbutter. I took one small bite, which happened to be his entire head. (His head was the size of a building) I couldn't breathe, so I went to find some milk. There was a milk river nearby, but I had to jump onto a cloud to get it.

12/13/2012: I remember being outside of a club or something, and what I assume to be the bouncer said "Is he cool?" He turned to the guy standing next to me, and he said yeah. We walked in. Turns out it was a Toys R Us. I went to the arm dispenser and attached a third arm onto my body. Right on my forehead. I then used it to walk, so i was kinda upside down. But then the world turned upside down as well.

12/14/2012: (Didn't sleep. Was playing LoL all night haha)

12/15/2012: I was eating flan while drinking beer in a mexican restaurant. I looked to my left and saw Captain America. The fact that we made eye-contact made him angry, so he slammed his fist into the table. All the items on the table flew up in slow motion. The DJ stopped playing and the ice-cream man got angry, so he started to fight Captain America. I then remember sticking toothpicks in my flan, making a little person out of it.

12/16/2012: Kinda cant remember, it was about large open spaces, but then really small tight spaces, which got me paranoid. There wasn't any true visual but the space was there. Kinda.

12/17/2012: I was playing checkers with a checkerboard. I couldn't stop laughing when I woke up.

12/18/2012: I was in the game 'Animal Crossings' - Walking around, helping my neighbors, going fishing and whatnot. I remember some characters like 'Lobo' 'Ed' and 'Buck' being there. It was by far the most relaxing dream I have had in a while.

12/19/2012: I was on a date with three women. All of them demanded that I finish my taxes before the last Dalek finished it's taco platter or I would die. I tried and tried, but then my taxes burst into flames.

12/20/2012: I was in Team Fortress 2 (TF2) - but nobody was moving. It was like lag, but empty. I remember a table, with a checkered tablecloth. I went to go sit-down and I was eating a pie that would keep regenerating. Apple, I think. I then starting pouring salt on my pie. So much salt. It started flooding everything around me.

12/21/2012: I was a pokemon trainer, in some grassy forest about to fight another pokemon trainer. I sent out Raichu and he sent out Barack Obama. I then immediately started to make clam-chowder out of a near-bye cauldron.

12/22/2012: Cant really remember

12/23/2012: Paining a purple wall... then someone screamed 'Hey!' thats... about it?

12/24/2012: I made a device where every-time someone in the world got a notification on Facebook, my ex-girlfriend would fart. (I seriously need to make this)

12/25/2012: I had to go back in time to help Julius Caesar from stop the war between Little Caesar pizzerias and Orange Julius's around the world. We never could help him because I had to go take tango lessons with my mom. On the plus side, there was a live jazz band preforming at the tango studio. Also the floor was made out of sponges.

12/26/2012: Can't remember

12/27/2012: I was a falcon, fighting the enemy bird game. It was almost like that movie 'Legend of the Guardians' but I wasn't the main character or anything, just a solider.

12/28/2012: Can't remember anything besides the number 51. Something about the number 51 lol.

12/29/2012: I had to chug beer with George Clooney or the earth would explode. There were TV cameras and toasters and party hats everywhere. The toasters were used to store beer for us.

12/30/2012: I was at a Yellow-card concert. They did this cool thing where they turned the audience into colors that would sync with the music they are playing. (Like the guitar would be green, Bass would be red, etc etc) But they were not playing music. It was mute.

12/31/2012: I had one silver coin. It listened to me. It was alive. It wanted to feel love. But then I bought a soda with it. Also taxi's were driving on walls.

1/1/2013: I had to fight Charlie Brown using poetry. Every word I would speak would age him by a month. He was dead by the time I was done. I then got a kiss on the cheek from Betty White. We then made an alliance to stop the Norwegians from taking over Canada.

[rushyrulz]

The grammar error in the thread title bugs the hell out of me every time I see this thread on the front page -.-

[Xiz]

Originally Posted by rushyrulz

The grammar error in the thread title bugs the hell out of me every time I see this thread on the front page -.-

hm how do i fix that o.0 I keep trying but it only will change the OP.

EDIT: Thx bmah!

[bmah]

OCD users shall now be cured

[V-Ormix]

thats not fair, I want awesome dreams like this... btw I have weird dreams p rarely unless I eat like junk food right before I go to sleep

[Xiz]

Originally Posted by V-Ormix

thats not fair, I want awesome dreams like this... btw I have weird dreams p rarely unless I eat like junk food right before I go to sleep

All it took was writing them down every morning when I woke up. After a bit of practice I taught myself to remember them more. Now, I can remember them like 90% of the time

[Xiz]

1/2/2013: Lady Rainicorn died but I brought her back to life with my fists. Also the walls were made of water, but it was calm and still. If I toughed the water, I would fall in and that wall would become the floor (gravity shifted)

1/3/2013: There was a giant meteor about to crash into earth but it decided not to because I wouldn't sit next to it on the schoolbus. (I think I was like 5 in this dream) There was a kid who was sitting across from me and stared me down, not saying anything but his eyes I remember started to get bigger and bigger each time I looked at him. Also there was no bus driver. In fact, the bus never ended. It went on forever.

1/4/2013: I became a successful DJ and I was about to preform infront of the earth but I couldn't because I forgot my teeth, because I pulled them out five minutes before to impress my pet snake. The snake bit me also.

1/5/2013: I was driving on the express way, and I was apparently speeding or running from something. Every-time I would bump into another car it would go shooting off and flying away forever doing like a million barrel-rolls or something. I looked behind me to see what I was running from, then I appeared in a park having a picnic with George Forman, the guy who sells grills. But he wouldn't talk. He just sat there. (Kinda weird how it was close to the 1/3/2013 dream)

1/6/2013: This one was fuzzy... I remember cotton. Blue cotton. I would jump in it, but one cottonball ended up killing everyone inside the sausage factory. I was blamed, and then put in happy prison. Instead of cells there were Xbox's, Roller-coasters and Asians.

1/7/2013: I became a moose. I then killed myself.

[Charu]

Originally Posted by Xiz

1/5/2013: I was driving on the express way, and I was apparently speeding or running from something. Every-time I would bump into another car it would go shooting off and flying away forever doing like a million barrel-rolls or something. I looked behind me to see what I was running from, then I appeared in a park having a picnic with George Forman, the guy who sells grills. But he wouldn't talk. He just sat there. (Kinda weird how it was close to the 1/3/2013 dream)

1/6/2013: This one was fuzzy... I remember cotton. Blue cotton. I would jump in it, but one cottonball ended up killing everyone inside the sausage factory. I was blamed, and then put in happy prison. Instead of cells there were Xbox's, Roller-coasters and Asians.

LOL, so happy you still are keeping up with this. These are simply amazing.

[KrazyKitsune]

Originally Posted by Xiz

1/7/2013: I became a moose. I then killed myself.

......

.____.

[Arkuski]

Originally Posted by KrazyKitsune

......

.____.

.___________________________________________.

[Xiz]

1/8/2013: I was Dr. Who - I had my sonic screwdriver, and when I pointed it to a cheerleaders head, it exploded. I knew the cops were after me so I hid under a table. They couldn't find me but they were everywhere. So I sliced their legs off with my hands and was able to get away. Almost. As one of the police officer's (with a bushy mustache) head crashed to the ground, his eyes shot lasers and hit me and I fell over, dead.

1/9/2013: I was making waffles, but my pan was too small. Yes, a frying pan that made waffles. I then sacrificed a chair by throwing it off of my building and it caught fire. I then went back to my stove to find about 60 waffles there, but they were made out of nothing if that makes sense. So they floated away, and my roof didn't exist anymore, so I floated away also after them. But I couldn't catch them... not a single one...

1/10/2013: I had this dream like 2 years ago... but I remember one thing. I was in a supermarket looking at pineapples, then these two scruffy pirate like guys were chasing me in a shopping cart. I had to run because otherwise they would turn me into stone....

1/11/2013: Can't remember

1/12/2013: Can't remember

1/13/2013: I had to eat my teeth or else Thor would eat Brazil. I cried.

1/14/2013: I had wings, but they didn't work. I tried and tried but no mater what I did, nothing would happen. I found myself in the middle of a road, and all these rallycars were coming my way and I couldn't get out. I tried to move but I couldn't. Right before they hit me I woke up.

1/15/2013: Can't remember

1/16/2013: My father died, and I was at his funeral. But he was there with me. It was really spiritual and weird. It was comforting, and I wasn't sad. As I was sitting in a pew, I looked over and saw him. He was laughing, as he was happy, smiling at me. I was happy.

1/17/2013: I was in a safari, like the pokemon safari. I could only step so much before I would get killed. That was the only downside. But it cost like $5 so I couldn't refuse. A wild German appeared, and I tried catching it but I ended up just sitting in a chair in a nightclub.

1/18/2013: I think I might have fallen off of a cruiseship or something, but I was starting to drown, but not really. I then decided to pretend to be dead, then the water disappeared and I found myself in the ER. I wasn't a patient or anything, but I looked over at the doctor who was slamming his hands with a derp face into the human body, blood going everywhere and piano sounds were coming out of it. I then walked outside and was eating a poptart.

[Cuddlecody]

These are great. I have a dream log of nearly 6 years, but they aren't honestly weird/humorous like yours are. The most odd thing for me is I've formed the ability to 'pause' my dream like a video game when I was near death or in a dangerous situation and could select 'Quit' or 'Continue'. Quitting would wake me up.

[Xiz]

So I haven't updated this in a while. A bit to read, but there are a bunch of funny bits in this one. Enjoy!

Rest Of January
1/19/2013: I was the king of spiders. But they were chill spiders. Like legit, they played beer pong and smoked weed. I got into a mild fight with one because I forgot to take off my shoes. Spiders take great offense to that.

1/20/2013: I smuggled colors. I... don't know how to even describe this one... Like, I would kill people for colors. I dont understand...

1/21/2013: I was on a spaceship underwater. Our goal was to collect samples of rocks. It would have been great but the Germans kept hiding my clothing. My ex-girlfriend fell down and I laughed.

1/22/2013: Can't remember

1/23/2013: Can't remember

1/24/2013: My son was a shark. He was cute because his eyes were massive. I trained him in the skill of masonry. He became rich and took care of me when I got older. His beard also served coffee. Also I apparently was a gardner.

1/25/2013: So it was my wedding day and I invited godzilla. People thought he was attacking so they opened fire on him. (I mean come on, he was wearing a fucking tux) So godzilla defended himself. He ended up accadently killed the bride, but I was cool with it because he offered me a beer in an irish rugby pub shortly after. And no, godzilla cant handle heavy liquor.

1/26/2013: I played chess with someone. I got angry because I lost. Thats it. Nothing exciting.

1/27/2013: Sex dream. It was funny at first, but good.

1/28/2013: You know that one scene in Finding Nemo where they are riding those turtles in the GAC? Yeah, I was surfing on one of those turtles. I had to go through these rings also, if I got 10 of them I would free a dragon. I ended up learning how to format an external hard-drive at the end of the day after I won all the trophies.

1/29/2013: I was climbing a mountain with my gym coach from middle school, but it started to shake and I fell off, right before I hit the ground I woke up.

1/30/2013: I had to sacrifice my eyes to save my family. Instead of complying, I threw a cat at the switch which free'd my family, and we escaped safely. That was, until they released the bowling-balls. These bowling-balls were heat-seeking missiles. I could block most with my fists, but when I turned around I saw my family was dead.

1/31/2013: Every time I sneezed, a woman would climax. I would prefer to not say any more about this one.

Febuary

2/1/2013: I had to save Finn and Jake from an evil version of themselves. As I was running to save them I found a treasure map. This treasure map located where the nearest Jimmy Johns was. As I was following the map, I realized that the primary path to take kept changing every 10 seconds. I then re-installed the map.exe file at the nearest wall. Turns out I had a virus in my wall. (So you know garrys mod? where you can just fuck around with rag-dolls?) Imagine an old-lady with a walker getting smashed into walls, the ground, and cars sending the cars flying.

2/2/2013: I was building a stove so I can make the worlds best tuna salad. Turns out my arch-nemesis Captain Crunch beat me in making tuna salad. I swore revenge on him by making his wife buy ugly ties for him. We went to JC Penny. I found a tie that used grapes and umbilical cords, so she bought it for him. I then instantly found out I was the worlds best race-car driver. So I went to participate in the Indy 500, however I forgot my car. But it was cool, I had sunglasses. I just ran the whole time. When the race started, my legs didn't work, so I just punched cars and they exploded. I ended up winning due to default. My prize was having intercourse with every woman in the state of California, but then I woke up.

2/3/2013: Something about my blender overflowing with water, and flooding my entire kitchen. That's about it.

2/4/2013: Can't remember

2/5/2013: I was in a pokemon battle with Obama. However I was the pokemon. Obama chose the bulldozer-pokemon. I swoop-de-woop and exploded the bulldozer and obama in one shot, along with every fan who was sitting in the stadium behind Obama. I then brushed my teeth and got ready for school.

2/6/2013: I made chocolate for a living. I had the best chocolate in the world. Then I simply just forgot how to make chocolate. I then tied my shoes, which were snakes. One bit me and I died slowly.

2/7/2013: Can't remember

2/8/2013: Was up all night. Didn't dream.

2/9/2013: I went to BronyCon where I met a few people in Team Pony, such as Goldstinger, FissionMailed and AlexDest. However, Goldstinger kept catching himself on fire, and nobody helped him because we all thought it was funny. While going through all the different booths, the ground split, and mostly everyone fell to their death. I found this no excuse and demanded the convention to continue. The head convention people with big white mustaches agreed and the convention continued. I then found Shakira practicing knitting. I then made out with Shakira, then put on a jetpack and flew away. It was pretty damn epic. Until of course my jetpack ran out of fuel and I fell to my death.

2/10/2013: My finger was a magical wond. I apparently was in Hogwarts, but I can tell it was fake due to how badly the building was made. Like, half of it was just painted cardboard. Also none of the elvators worked. Being so mad, I then kicked a stone and then hundreds of Elton John's came out. Due to the large increase of population at the school, the lunch lady couldn't serve everyone, so we used the extra Elton Johns as food. The thing was, the lunch lady didnt kill them. She just put Elton John's on a plate. I remember precisely there were 20 sitting on 20 plates, singing with each-other as kids took em to be eaten.

2/11/2013: I owned Rapidash. I didn't want anyone else to know she existed so I moved to Texas and opened up a small farm so nobody would find her. There was some guy in a suit trying to sell me something like turnips, or radishes, and I killed him because he couldnt find out. The police came instantly, like in GTA, but I just entered a cheat code and they instantly stopped.

2/12/2013: Something about how I was the last man on earth. It was cool, because I got a jet because of it. Also, I got taught how to color correctly

2/13/2013: Whenever I would clap, everything in the area from which I clapped got squished together. This dream really messed with my mind, because I was breaking every depth perception rule. It was way more confusing then I could even comprehend...

2/14/2013: Something about becoming a fish and swimming north to Canada. That's about it.

2/15/2013: I played guitar for the first time, and with every strum I killed a man. I didn't know till everyone in the world was dead. I got sad, so I made some lemonade. I then called the cops but nobody responded. So then I went to the Rockies game, where there were a bunch of people somehow. I realised this, and thought it wasn't fair for these guys to live when nobody else could, so I took my guitar, put my hand in the air, and then played Tetris on my laptop. I tried to get a really high score but I couldn't because the L pieces were douchbags.

2/16/2013: Can't remember

2/17/2013: I was at the world championships for FFR, but I was placed in D2. So I had a good chance. SayUncle was there, and it was just us 2 in the finals. However, it wasnt actually SayUncle. It was a dolphin. Because dolphins dont have fingers, I was able to win.

2/18/2013: I secretly bought Apple for something like $600. However, I was scammed, and accidentally bought an actual apple instead of the company. But the joke was on him, because inside the apple was Pandoras Box. I sold that on ebay for like $25 and bought a used game for it. I think I bought Spyro or something.

2/19/2013: I was a DJ at one of the worlds most exclusive clubs. Everyone was there from The Ninja Turtles to ACDC. All I had to do was press play on my macbook and pretend like I was doing things. Turned out it worked, and I got the key to the city of Boston. Everything was going great, but then Sweden invaded. I picked up a gun, but then the buddy next to me kept telling me to aim down my scope so I hit him with a traffic cone.

2/20/2013: I was detained by border patrol. But the border patrol people were really trees. Who talked slowly. So pretty much the entire dream was in slow motion, and because of that gravity didnt really exist either.

2/21/2013: I was using my computer, but the icons were moving around all weird. Every time they would colide, a water-dropplet effect would come out of them, making a noise that i couldnt hear. It was weird. I guess I was doing homework? I'm not sure.

2/22/2013: My feet were replaced by a group of deer. I guess the best way to describe this is that it was a birds-eye view of a bunch of them running, and im controlling them. I sent them off a cliff, but then we flew over an ocean, into the clouds. We then landed in a forest of some sort, but when we got there the trees were made of glass. Glass so fragile, that the slightest tough would cause them to shatter. I then breathed on one, and it painted it red. It was a really cool artistic dream.

2/23/2013: Can't remember

2/24/2013: Up all night. Didn't sleep at all.

2/25/2013: I was Blitzcrank, in League of Legends. For those who don't know what Blitzcrank is, its a huge robot with an arm that extends and pulls an enemy toward him. I used this arm to kill a Katarina, and then I made pasta using it. However, while making this pasta, my arm randomly shot off and went through the table, busting a pipe causing the apples on my counter to run in fear.

2/26/2013: I was watching Blue Man Group. I got scared because one of their heads got really big. So I hid in my chair, and i became one with the chair, becoming really small and hiding inside of it. I then kept digging and found a gold coin.

2/27/2013: Something about being on a beach. That's about it?

2/28/2013: I found a new type of car, hidden within the ancient Aztec ruins. A car made of solid rock. I used it to race in Nascar, and I dominated my opponents in the first half, until I ran out of gas, and Nascar didn't have any rock gas. So I got upset and pushed a little kid.

March

3/1/2013: I was on the death star, right before it exploded. There were lasers flying everywhere, but I chilled. When the death star exploded, everything exploded around me, but I didnt explode. I was safe due to a magic bubble that Patric Stewart blew for me.

3/2/2013: Can't remember

3/3/2013: I found out that people really were nothing more then water when I poked them. The second I would do so, they would burst like a water balloon. This was great, until I realized how bad it was. It would only work on humans, and not animals, with the acception of my companion, Michael Felps, but a really tiny version of him. He would give me advice on what to do incase of a zombie apocalypse, which I find irrelevant since there were no zombies during the time.

3/4/2013: I forgot how to DDR and I was showing all my friends. It was so embarrassing. They were laughing. They said I looked so stupid that they could no longer be friends with me. So they made friends with a group of cheerleaders instead. fml.

3/5/2013: Kinda cant remember... I remember looking at clam chowder soup. That's it.

3/6/2013: I was dancing with this really really REALLY attractive girl at a local club in Denver. We danced all night, I bought her a few drinks and we mingled. We ended up making out and doing some hardcore dirty dancing. She then turned out to be a t-rex. While everyone was scared, I just asked if she still likes me, she said yes then we got married right there.

3/7/2013: My family and I were waiting at an airport. I think TSA or something was causing the long lines. However, I remember in particular me and my sister played the "PENIS" game, but instead of saying penis we used the word "BOMB" - Nobody seemed to notice, or care for that matter. I then started to climb a latter, but then I fell off.

3/8/2013: Can't remember....

3/9/2013: Up all night. No dreams today!

3/10/2013: I owned a cocoanut farm. But they acted like cows. So they would roll over and eat oats or hay or whatever the hell cows eat. I then went to go farm some land, so I punched the land as hard as I could and it was instantly fertilized. I was so happy I did it again and it set everything on fire, and lava cam bursting from the ground. Me and my sister grabbed surf-boards and proceeded to rive the lava waves.

3/11/2013: I became best friends with Keanu Reeves. The dream consisted of literally NOTHING but us sitting on a sofa, eating pizza and watching scrubs. I think I was drunk? Not sure.

3/12/2013: I was taking an exam for my spanish class. I then left the exam, and found myself taking the spanish exam again, like it was on a broken loop. I remember looking at the clock, but the clock said "Perree Station"

3/13/2013: My arms were tentacles, and I could climb walls with them. The walls however became the floor, and the world shifted accordingly. Due to this change, I started laughing. Then I looked up in the sky, and noticed a bird flying into the sun. It caused the sun to explode. Shortly after, a new sun appeared. But this time, the sun throbbed. So I proceeded to walk down a street that had no end. I found a homeless man on the side of the road, but when I asked if he needed anything he proceeded to eat himself. As in, he disappeared.

3/14/2013: I owned about 600 cats. So many cats, that it was literally a tilde wave of cats. Instead of ocean sounds, you can hear their meows. I was confused by this, so I went to the beach. But I never got there, because I got arrested at Ben & Jerry's for making out with their employees.

3/15/2013: I was waiting for something to start, but I can't remember what. I just remember that I really really wanted whatever it was to start. The weird thing was, I kinda remember the hunger games clock in it. But it wasn't the hunger games.

3/16/2013: Can't remember

3/17/2013: I could change the way traffic went with my mind. I could throw cars up in the sky, and replace them with better cars. How they were better I know not, but the way it felt seemed right. Also, there was a panda smoking weed. She offered me some, but I told her weed was bad and punched her in the boob.

3/18/2013: Doritos became banned due to how sharp they were. So I made a profit by smuggling Doritos into the United States. People would pay me in pillows, because my goal was to have the worlds largest pillow fort.

3/19/2013: I was farming potatoes, but all I could farm was gold. I got so angry at this that I ended up taking a plank of wood and smashing the hell out of the letter S, who just happened to be there. I then looked at its crippled body, and then got worried what Elmo would think. I never ran into Elmo, because I went to the moon in my bathing suit. It's cold up there.

[Charu]

For some reason, after reading all the entries. I liked the very last one, or latest one, the most!

[.Rarity]

Originally Posted by Xiz

However, Goldstinger kept catching himself on fire, and nobody helped him because we all thought it was funny.

wow


lmao

[gold stinger]

Originally Posted by Xiz

3/19/2013: I was farming potatoes, but all I could farm was gold.

I'll kill u if ur referring to me

[Nullifidian]

This is comedy gold

[Pseudo Enigma]

This thread again. I was wondering why you hadn't updated it in forever. <33 this thread so much

1/25/2013: So it was my wedding day and I invited godzilla. People thought he was attacking so they opened fire on him. (I mean come on, he was wearing a fucking tux) So godzilla defended himself. He ended up accadently killed the bride, but I was cool with it because he offered me a beer in an irish rugby pub shortly after. And no, godzilla cant handle heavy liquor.

so uh, I'm starting to think godzilla doesn't deserve the rep he's getting. Poor guy.

dowant your imagination. You should write.

[Xiz]

Originally Posted by Pseudo Enigma

This thread again. I was wondering why you hadn't updated it in forever. <33 this thread so much

dowant your imagination. You should write.

xD Yeah I kinda forgot to update it. I'll do like every week / every other week depending. And I probably could make an entire series out of some dreams that I have had haha.... But I cant write. My engrish is bad.

[Jonlovesddr]

I feel like some of these are made up
still funny but really how the hell do you dream every day