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Old 05-9-2006, 04:30 PM   #1
bbyt
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Default Emo Essay

As you can probably tell, I rarely post in the forums, but I decided to try one of my english essays on here. I'm not positive if this is completely appropriate for this forum, but the description did include esssays. The assignment was to choose a unqiue constroversial topic and model it after a specified essay. Whoever can name the title and author of the original gets a cookie.

5 December 2005


In a day and age of a world population growing exponentially, financial super-powers creeping into debt, and the continuance of the ever-hungering third-world countries, one can easily become overwhelmed by the worries of our world’s future. As if these depressing facts were not enough, the youth of the United States are joining together in melodic propaganda groups to whine and complain to their peers about how their lives are full of sadness and woe. This movement is being labeled the multiplying subgenre known as “emo.”
Emo stands for emotional, suggesting that the lyrics are loaded with motivating feelings. Music, however, has been provoking feeling for centuries, so what makes emo so emotional? The feelings conveyed in emo music are usually not open to every emotion, but specifically those of depression and sadness, often with a twist of anger. This is where emo becomes problematic.
Emo bands possess no great musical talent nor sing/scream magical lyrics, but the sound of their droning music mixed with self-sympathetic words creates a hypnotic formula that produces unusual characteristics in regular emo listeners, particularly youths.
Given that emo’s roots reside in the underground punk/rock movements of the 1980s and 1990s, emo songs contain elements of rebelliousness which stirs instigation. When the youths are not fostering these thoughts against authority, though, they harbor other thoughts of “heartbreak” and “confusion,” sometimes relating the words of the songs to sad experiences they have had, but more frequently lamenting for no apparent reason.
As a result, these “emos” will incorporate this artificial depression into their everyday lives and attitudes, even to the point of having suicidal thoughts. Any question asked of an emo, therefore, will be answered as pessimistically as possible.
This behavior becomes harmful when it is manifested into life or death decisions. For example, you would not want an emo in charge of a rescue team if you were stranded in an isolated environment in need of help. He or she would more likely help plan your funeral than plan your rescue.
In addition to these potential dangers, typical emo attire is not at all in good taste. Because the average emo desires not to conform to fashion or other trends (which is not in and of itself evil), he will often find the most unstylish “thrifty store” shirts and long, baggy pants or jeans to wear. Facial appearance is even more appalling, often including hair dyed black and/or spiked in odd directions, one or more body piercings, and is sometimes accompanied by black make-up in both women and men. These apparels, at one time a public joke, have become what most consider an eyesore.
As the popularity of emo increaseth, I propose a possible and reasonable solution to dangers and inconveniences incurred with its existence.
In analyzing the behavior patterns of emos, I have found that most, under the influence of their favorite emo song or band, have a desire to take their own life, and in the event that they had the means to do so, would do so. Therefore, were someone to provide them an easy means to do this, the odds of their self-destruction would increase tremendously.
Upon conducting a poll, the weapon of choice among most emos is the razor. It is assumed that the suicide would be brought about by slitting of the wrists with the razor blade.
In light of these facts, I humbly propose that razors be supplied to emo youth by request. With utility knife razor blades being estimated as low as $.60 per blade, government funding of this operation should not be a problem.
One suggested target area would be at an emo concert, when emotions are at their highest. It would be here that many emos would be most susceptible. Another way for emos to get access to their razors would be to have an “Emo-hotline” that could be advertised on T.V., on the radio, in newspapers, billboards and such to encourage emos to fulfill their fantasies if they feel so encouraged. Emos could then call this number and order free razors for their own use.
In order to offset the price for advertising, phone services, and razors, the government could also sponsor the filming of emos during their self-destruction, which could then in turn be marketed and sold as entertainment to the public, similar to the guillotine shows during the French Revolution. This could also serve as a fundraiser for other things such as national debt and world hunger, since the prices for the operation itself would be minimal.
Thus, the American public would be filled with more optimism and happiness, and would also be gaining means to make the world a better place. I, myself, am not an emo, and have no desire under any influence to take my own life, and so cannot use myself in the operation. Therefore, I say there is no special gain for me in this proposal except the satisfaction of doing a good deed for my country.
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Last edited by bbyt; 05-9-2006 at 04:54 PM..
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Old 05-9-2006, 04:36 PM   #2
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Default Re: Emo Essay

I'm not an emo, but the sheer speculation without any facts to back it up just destroys it. You state things, yet you offer no real background.
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Old 05-9-2006, 05:09 PM   #3
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Default Re: Emo Essay

I found this extremely humorous. gj
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Old 05-9-2006, 06:01 PM   #4
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Holy cow. I started typing up a reply as to why everything you said was complete rubbish. By the end, I was like "oh he's retarded. He's suggesting that we help people kill themselves and sell footage of it."

A Modest Proposal was much better.

PS I do hope you realize that nothing in that writing could be called true. Everything was either a lie or just plain stupid.
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Old 05-9-2006, 06:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Emo Essay

damnit afro! you got to it before me

i was all like lets eat babies because im jonathan swift and such

oh well
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Old 05-9-2006, 06:11 PM   #6
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Man. Do some research.
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Old 05-9-2006, 06:36 PM   #7
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Agreed that it's has credibility problems.

I still find it humorous.
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Old 05-9-2006, 06:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Emo Essay

This guy is probably the biggest skater/punk ever.
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Old 05-9-2006, 11:43 PM   #9
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Default Re: Emo Essay

I'm so happy to have feedback. ^_^

Grandiagod, the stereotypes incorporated in the essay were referenced and cross-referenced with internet sources; however, in order to model it after Swift's pamphlet, I omitted citations.

Afrobean, I tried my best to recreate Swift's mentality when he wrote A Modest Proposal. Yes, I know that this essay about emos is merely a satire meant to poke fun.

Verruckter, I did do research =( but oh well. I got an A anyhow.

Thanks for your comments!
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Old 05-10-2006, 01:21 AM   #10
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Default Re: Emo Essay

I think that you had a good tone at the beginning, very professional and forthcoming, but then you tripped and fell on your face when you went off on government sponsoring razor blade sellings at concerts and the like. Personally, I wouldn't have given it an A but that isn't for me to decide.
O_o
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Old 05-10-2006, 02:49 AM   #11
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Default Re: Emo Essay

I'm emo. That is a very vague description of a sterotypical emo. Not all emo's cut their wrists, and emo songs arn't always about getting dumped. It's emotional, meaning all types of emotion. When i listen to my music i don't have a desire to take my life, although i am having a strong desire to take yours. Emo hotline? what in the hell. Baggy pants? i think you'll find it's tight jeans which are usually girls jeans. Band shirts aswell. All in all that essay isnt worth the the space it's typed on. I suggest you go away and do some real research on somthing a bit less vague. dork.
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Old 05-10-2006, 04:00 AM   #12
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Hahaha, awesome. The only thing I'd say is that you could probably work on the last part a bit, where you suggest the whole program of killing emos. There's something slightly awkward about your tone/language that gives away the fact that this isn't serious. I guess it's like you're trying to sound overly casual, or something. That's just my opinion. But still, nice work.
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Old 05-10-2006, 04:18 AM   #13
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbyt
but oh well. I got an A anyhow.
I find that very hard to believe.

I didnt even find that funny. I laughed yea, but at you attempted crack at "emos".
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Old 05-10-2006, 07:56 AM   #14
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grandiagod
This guy is probably the biggest skater/punk ever.
So you stereotype him based off his stereotypical essay? That's not hypocritical or pointless.
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Old 05-10-2006, 10:59 AM   #15
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anticrombie0909
So you stereotype him based off his stereotypical essay? That's not hypocritical or pointless.
Noooo, I wasn't obviously being sarcastic or anything. Not at all.
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Old 05-10-2006, 04:21 PM   #16
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Default Re: Emo Essay

Quote:
Originally Posted by ckj846
I think that you had a good tone at the beginning, very professional and forthcoming, but then you tripped and fell on your face when you went off on government sponsoring razor blade sellings at concerts and the like. Personally, I wouldn't have given it an A but that isn't for me to decide.
O_o
Must have never read A Modest Proposal.

It's about eating babies to cure poorness or something.

EDIT: btw matty, it was satire. He didn't seriously mean any of it.

This must be why everyone thinks I have a terrible sense of humor, if you people can't see the satire here.
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