New Church

plasmix · 10-12-2003, 11:16 AM

Today, my whole church moved into a new one like 5 minutes away from my house. Half of the buildings were half done and the service had to be done in the Tenants Hall.

However, just outside the door, there's this fat person playing the bagpipes.

The scary thing is, I couldn't tell if it was a guy or not.

*shudder*Kilts.*shudder*

Anonymous · 10-12-2003, 12:55 PM

I dont goto church, so this doesnt concern me. But I have business with that man, as in an M4 and a Deagle. To his head...

MalReynolds · 10-13-2003, 12:51 AM

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.

Anyway...

Mal

Sinjin · 10-13-2003, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plasmix

Today, my whole church moved into a new one like 5 minutes away from my house. Half of the buildings were half done and the service had to be done in the Tenants Hall.

However, just outside the door, there's this fat person playing the bagpipes.

The scary thing is, I couldn't tell if it was a guy or not.

*shudder*Kilts.*shudder*

Hey, c'mon Plasmix. I was born in Scotland.

SAE WHEESHT, BAIRN, AR'ALL GOW APESHITE ON YER ARSE! HO HO HO, AW OCH AYE, I'M FUNNY....

jewpinthethird · 10-13-2003, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.

Anyway...

Mal

Word. But My Jesus could kick your Jesus' ass. Mine has a Jetpack.

SotN · 10-13-2003, 01:16 AM

The Adventures of Kung-Fu Jesus and His Amazing Giant Robot!

MalReynolds · 10-13-2003, 01:32 AM

Dude, my Jesus has an axe thats +9 against organized religion. If you get in range... WATCH OUT! He'll smite the hell out of your Jesus.

Mal

EDIT: Cause I can't spell religion worth a crap.

**nestlekwik** · 10-13-2003, 10:13 AM

I'm ordained too. Anyone can be ordained through the Universal Church of Life.

I can't remember the website, but you can actually be ordained for free online. I seriously didn't beleive it and went through the whole process, but they seriously ordain you and give you a certificate you can print out. I guess the printed certificate is valid in 46 states, so I could technically do Rev. Kwik type procedures.

**Moogy** · 10-13-2003, 10:27 AM

I can see it now... "LET THE HOLY POWER OF THE ARROWS CLEANSE THE DEMONS FROM THIS MAN'S SOUL!" etc. etc.

RobbyZero · 10-13-2003, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

I started my own religeon after getting ordained.

It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap.

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.

Anyway...

Mal

aannddddd....how old are you?

anyways thats fucken insane....

**Moogy** · 10-13-2003, 10:33 AM

I should start the Moogy religion. In order to be in it, you have to pay me one dollar. It'll be really awesome! And it's only a dollar!

dontcareaboutmyid · 10-13-2003, 11:18 AM

its called an offering if you don't want to be sued cause technically churches can't say give me money unless you want to go to hell.

very few people would join.

i think i'll stick to christianity of the lutheran style thank you much

**Moogy** · 10-13-2003, 12:08 PM

Have you ever heard of something called a "joke"?

Falcon · 10-13-2003, 12:20 PM

Quote:

i think i'll stick to christianity of the lutheran style thank you much

word... except minus lutheran and add nondenominational.

MalReynolds · 10-13-2003, 12:42 PM

I'm sixteen, and full in my rights to be a minister.

www.universalministries.com is where I did it. Valid in all the states.

And for my church: There is no strict rule set, as gods word is forever changing.

Many people argue that Homosexuality is an abomination, as stated in the Bible. Well, so is eating shellfish, and wearing polyblend clothing. According to the bible, we can purchase slaves, as long as they are from neighboring countries. We can sell our daugthers into slavery, and if we are in a war, we are allowed to take one woman back with us to be our concubines. And sowing 2 types of seed in 1 field would get you killed.

Thats why I don't particularly follow the bible. Gods word is ever changing.

And, my Jesus has a +9 Axe against organized Relgion.

Mal

Sinjin · 10-13-2003, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit.

If you believe in abortion...then we have very different perceptions on what a human life is worth. There is no excuse for murder. Ever.

carnage · 10-13-2003, 02:17 PM

You see, my religion is called Tannerism. You do whatever the hell you see right. And in the afterlife, you eat Pizza Pops and watch all new episodes of your favourite TV shows every day.

MalReynolds · 10-13-2003, 07:16 PM

I do not beleive in murder, and I do not like the abortion debate. There is no way I could change your mind; your mind is set, and there is no way you can change my mind; my mind is set.

I do not want to debate abortion: This is the last thing I wanted to do.

All I wanted to say is that my church is open to new ideas. We beleive in God, Jesus, and the Ten Commandments. We shouldn't have to live by the bible to live a full and meaningful life.

Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

Mal

carnage · 10-13-2003, 07:25 PM

What are the ten commandments? I don't know what they are. XD

Sinjin · 10-13-2003, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MalReynolds

I do not beleive in murder, and I do not like the abortion debate. There is no way I could change your mind; your mind is set, and there is no way you can change my mind; my mind is set.

I do not want to debate abortion: This is the last thing I wanted to do.

All I wanted to say is that my church is open to new ideas. We beleive in God, Jesus, and the Ten Commandments. We shouldn't have to live by the bible to live a full and meaningful life.

Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

Mal

You say it's wrong to kill yet you support abortion. You don't support the abortion debate because there is no logical reason to support it, other than that some people are selfish and cowardly. You are a fucking hypocrite.

10-12-2003, 11:16 AM	#1
plasmix FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: TX Posts: 3,639	New Church Today, my whole church moved into a new one like 5 minutes away from my house. Half of the buildings were half done and the service had to be done in the Tenants Hall. However, just outside the door, there's this fat person playing the bagpipes. The scary thing is, I couldn't tell if it was a guy or not. shudderKilts.shudder

10-13-2003, 12:51 AM	#3
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	I started my own religeon after getting ordained. It basically follows that there is a God, there was a Jesus, but the rest was bullcrap. We should be able to pratice how we want. I believe in God, Jesus, Homosexulaity, Abortions, and ply blend clothing. That makes me pretty damn unique, as religeons go. And the thing about my religeon is, I add new beleifs as I see fit. Anyway... Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

10-13-2003, 01:16 AM	#6
SotN FFR Player Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 1,159	The Adventures of Kung-Fu Jesus and His Amazing Giant Robot! __________________ 209

10-13-2003, 01:32 AM	#7
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	Dude, my Jesus has an axe thats +9 against organized religion. If you get in range... WATCH OUT! He'll smite the hell out of your Jesus. Mal EDIT: Cause I can't spell religion worth a crap. __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

10-13-2003, 10:27 AM	#9
Moogy 嗚呼 Join Date: Aug 2003 Age: 36 Posts: 10,303	I can see it now... "LET THE HOLY POWER OF THE ARROWS CLEANSE THE DEMONS FROM THIS MAN'S SOUL!" etc. etc. __________________ Plz visit my blog ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

10-12-2003, 12:55 PM	#2
Anonymous FFR Player Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,088	I dont goto church, so this doesnt concern me. But I have business with that man, as in an M4 and a Deagle. To his head...

10-13-2003, 10:13 AM	#8
nestlekwik Retired Staff Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nestlekwikland, Ohio Age: 44 Posts: 2,317	I'm ordained too. Anyone can be ordained through the Universal Church of Life. I can't remember the website, but you can actually be ordained for free online. I seriously didn't beleive it and went through the whole process, but they seriously ordain you and give you a certificate you can print out. I guess the printed certificate is valid in 46 states, so I could technically do Rev. Kwik type procedures.

10-13-2003, 10:33 AM	#11
Moogy 嗚呼 Join Date: Aug 2003 Age: 36 Posts: 10,303	I should start the Moogy religion. In order to be in it, you have to pay me one dollar. It'll be really awesome! And it's only a dollar! __________________ Plz visit my blog ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

10-13-2003, 11:18 AM	#12
dontcareaboutmyid FFR Player Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin, Close to Canada Age: 39 Posts: 2,103	its called an offering if you don't want to be sued cause technically churches can't say give me money unless you want to go to hell. very few people would join. i think i'll stick to christianity of the lutheran style thank you much __________________ Theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics

10-13-2003, 12:08 PM	#13
Moogy 嗚呼 Join Date: Aug 2003 Age: 36 Posts: 10,303	Have you ever heard of something called a "joke"? __________________ Plz visit my blog ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

10-13-2003, 12:42 PM	#15
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	I'm sixteen, and full in my rights to be a minister. www.universalministries.com is where I did it. Valid in all the states. And for my church: There is no strict rule set, as gods word is forever changing. Many people argue that Homosexuality is an abomination, as stated in the Bible. Well, so is eating shellfish, and wearing polyblend clothing. According to the bible, we can purchase slaves, as long as they are from neighboring countries. We can sell our daugthers into slavery, and if we are in a war, we are allowed to take one woman back with us to be our concubines. And sowing 2 types of seed in 1 field would get you killed. Thats why I don't particularly follow the bible. Gods word is ever changing. And, my Jesus has a +9 Axe against organized Relgion. Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

10-13-2003, 02:17 PM	#17
carnage FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: According to ThunderClaw Great Britain....Merry pip pip and whotnot Posts: 266	You see, my religion is called Tannerism. You do whatever the hell you see right. And in the afterlife, you eat Pizza Pops and watch all new episodes of your favourite TV shows every day. __________________ ¤Cå®ñågê¤

10-13-2003, 07:16 PM	#18
MalReynolds CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A Denny's Bathroom. Age: 38 Posts: 6,571	I do not beleive in murder, and I do not like the abortion debate. There is no way I could change your mind; your mind is set, and there is no way you can change my mind; my mind is set. I do not want to debate abortion: This is the last thing I wanted to do. All I wanted to say is that my church is open to new ideas. We beleive in God, Jesus, and the Ten Commandments. We shouldn't have to live by the bible to live a full and meaningful life. Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. Mal __________________ "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!

10-13-2003, 07:25 PM	#19
carnage FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: According to ThunderClaw Great Britain....Merry pip pip and whotnot Posts: 266	What are the ten commandments? I don't know what they are. XD __________________ ¤Cå®ñågê¤

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