just got the news that my cousin died last night

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

I'm glad you're getting along with your family and I hope you and your family are happier soon.

[lofty rhino]

Devistating to hear this kind of accident--and with a family member, no less.
Thinking about you. Try your best to stay in good health.

[Spenner]

Heart goes out to you and your family, the ripple effect of mourning isn't nice to see in everyone you love. But you and them can be strong, especially with knowing you can be; give a helping hand when and where you can. Just being with em occasionally helps more than most would know.

[top]

Originally Posted by contrapatior

I got to see the family this morning for breakfast. didn't talk too much about drake but we caught up and it was really great seeing all of them. drake's younger cousin and I are pretty close, so I talked to him quite a bit about drake's death.
the family's heartbroken but we're all pretty strong. we'll pull through.

life goes on. it's surreal seeing all the facebook posts about it, and the accident is going to be on the news.

not sure if we're going to have an actual funeral, as those are pretty expensive and I'm not sure the family can pay for it. we'll definitely have dinner at our grandma's house soon though.

rest in peace.

Cool man. At least there was somebody to talk to on that deeper level. Good luck with the burial, however it works out. Absolutely garbage that funerals are so damn expensive.
What about cremation or another option?

[contrapatior]

cremation actually came up in conversation. I was talking to my bro's girlfriend, her grandfather passed away recently and they decided to cremate. apparently, that's super expensive. but I think it's going to be what our family does. a burial doesn't seem like a good idea since he died in a crash. but idk what's going to happen.

I'm thinking about raising some money with some ambient music, to help at least a little bit for whatever costs might come up.

[SpaceGorilla]

this reminds me that i'm gonna put "throw me in the ocean" or something in my will because the idea is that the organic materials in my body will break up and that way instead of wasting ground space i'll just help out the environment

[top]

What the fuck cremation is expensive

[Zeldagurlfan1]

namaste.
all the best~

[-paexaea-]

My condolences. Stay strong man.

[Son Paimon]

Sit back, think of all the good times and embrace those memories.

[007ghg7]

Originally Posted by top

What the fuck cremation is expensive

odd, when my grandmother passed cremation was the cheaper option. Still went with burying her though.

[choof]

we had a candlelight vigil and hundreds of people came out, it was wonderful. lots of great stories were told, loads of laughter. we had a moment of silence, a prayer, and two big ass posters filled with pictures.

I almost broke down. his best friend, a guy our family has known for well over 10 years now, showed up and looking into his eyes reminded me of the people I knew in the military who had lost their close friends in combat. just even writing about it is hard. but I talked to him about it. I told him that he can't let this destroy him, that he needs to focus. it's what drake would have wanted. he's looking to be a father soon, so he needs to stay strong for his family.
also got to see a friend I hung out with quite a lot in 2012-2013 and we're gonna be hanging out again soon too, which is super nice.

the family is going to go with cremation. we're waiting to hear when the service is, it could either be in 2 weeks or 4 weeks.

I'm staying strong, our whole family is.

[Spenner]

You and your folks are strong people choof, and that circle of support surrounding this is good to hear. Outreach for those not doing as well coping have a means of benefit. I hope that and your donation drive helps you all out enough to lessen the load of stress resting on this.

It's good to hear you're reconnecting with people too, even if the circumstances of coming together had to be this, but that's life being life. Keep with that network of peeps, I'm sure you and them both strongly value understanding things close to the same; even if it's largely unspoken, there's a level of comfort there which is good for the soul.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

i'm glad you enjoyed the ceremony

[choof]

Originally Posted by Mourningfall

What a fucking dumbass

lemme tell you a short story
so last night, we had the vigil. hundreds of his friends and family came out to share stories and mourn together. my step-sisters came out, and they were under no obligation to come, since they haven't seen this side of the family in... fuck, 10 years?
so, I've been making my rounds, sharing stories with a bunch of people, meeting up with some people I haven't seen in years, comforting my younger cousin. my older step-sister pulls me aside. I'm thinking that she sees how upset I am and is trying to say something for comfort.

but.

it basically went like this.
her: "hey, do we know what happened?"
me: "yeah, he was in a motorcycle accident."
her: "yeah, but... what actually happened?"
me: "what do you mean? he was speeding and lost control. he received life-threating injuries and they were unable to save him."
her: "no I get that, but... was he drunk? was he high? what he hanging out with the wrong people or trying to show off to some ho?"
me: "does it matter? ultimately, my cousin, one of best friends, is dead. I will never hear his voice or embrace him ever again."
her: "no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I was just cur-"
me: "yeah."

I'm not sure if you ever had someone close to you die. I know that you're simply going to respond to this with some kinda edgelord response like "yeah dude my mother died and I didn't care lol I thought it was actually hilarious lmao"

my cousin's life was torn away from the family and we're in pain. does the circumstances of his death change anything? if we know later on that he was driving drunk, does the family collectively go from immense sorrow to, "well shit, he was drunk when it happened so he deserved it! ha!" I don't think anything changes. my cousin is dead. it doesn't matter if he was driving under the influence. my cousin is dead. it doesn't matter if was showing off to some girls on the side of the road. my cousin is dead. my cousin is dead. my cousin is fucking dead.

I will never hear his voice again. I will never hold him in my arms again. every time he called my mother, he would start the phone call off with "hey auntie tweesah!" he's done this for as long as I can fucking remember and she will never get that phone call again. my brother, his closest friend, will never see him again. his mother and father, they will never see their oldest son, their "baby" ever again. his younger brothers lost a role model. they lost their best friend. my grandmother lost a grandchild. I remember going to grandma's house every year for christmas when we were kids, and the entire living room would just be fucking FILLED with presents. all five of us, just fucking tearing wrapping paper off of the presents in a joy-fueled frenzy. we grew up together dude, I could talk to this dude about literally anything and no matter what time it was, I could call him up. I'd be at his place, or we'd be at my brother's place within an hour, beer and cig in hand, ready to stay up all night just talking about life. he was a brother to me. fuck being a cousin. we were so unbelievably close, you don't understand. and I will never see him again.

in one breath I hope you never have to experience this emptiness dude. because it hurts. I never cry, but right now, there are tears.

but in the other, I hope you do experience it. perhaps then, you will understand how it feels. how it feels to have a friend to lean on just simply... disappear.

[Mourningfall]

ok. I can see you obviously cared about him, I envy that.
I'm sorry. You've my condolences.

I've lost enough to be numb to the sensation. parentals, siblings, friends have all died.
I guess I stopped caring a long time ago, but just because I don't give a fuck what happens to me or those around me anymore doesn't mean I should disrespect you.
Sorry man, I'm out of line.

[choof]

Originally Posted by Mourningfall

ok. I can see you obviously cared about him, I envy that.
I'm sorry. You've my condolences.

you're only sorry because you saw me break down
you're not sorry
apology not accepted
don't speak to me again

[SpaceGorilla]

can someone please close this thread or something 'cause jesus christ

[Charu]

I request Mourningfall get perma'd

[top]

Oh and hey drizzle, poor choice of words.

That's like when people on Facebook "like" a sad or hurt-filled status. You don't ENJOY shit like that because it's not a joyful occasion.
Its pain hurt and sorrow.