Im writting a book...

[psychic25]

Well, nobody's actually trying to help him out.

All he's getting flamed for is his grammar, which, frankly, is easily fixed. I'm willing to take the time to fix it for him (which automatically makes his story FAR better).

I don't see what the problem is with his story topic and ideas. Why not construct upon that?

EDIT: ^:P Well, I guess that's NOT what the complaint is.

[YungYung]

You guys are being a tad bit harsh. There's no need to insult his intelligence just because he has a few (err...more than that I guess) grammatical errors.

However, earth_lord what I noticed through the entire thread was that you were only replying to the good comments you were getting (that were mostly from forum n00bs). You're making it seem like you're actually serious about writing a book. Well guess what, serious writers don't get praise 24/7. Mal probably has the best opinion out of all the people who have posted in here, and yet you've ignored next to everything he's said.

Anyways, I didn't bother reading your first post, only the last post where you said you had 'editted' the chapter. Even then, I noticed a ton of grammar errors, mostly with comas. I speak english as a second language, and my english is probably better than yours. That or you're just not paying enough attention to your writing. fiiiiiiiiiiix it kk?

[Brainmaster07]

The whole grammar thing has been beaten on enough, so I won't comment on that. I'd just like to say that if you want to improve, you have to listen, and respond to criticism. If you can't listen when someone is saying your story lacks, then all you have to work with is 'That's great!' and 'Nice!'. How do you expect to get better when you won't listen to how to get better, and will only accept praises about how the story good enough? Yeah, some of the feedback was harsh, but so what? Try to see past the harsh wording to what they're really saying, and use that critism to improve your writing. I agree with everything Mal has said, listen and learn from him.

[earth_lord]

I am sorry for the inconveinience

and yet I agree with MAL

[Snapps]

Originally Posted by earth_lord

No i am not 12. so leave me the hell alone!

Last time I checked you where. You edited your post to 13, i'm sure you remember what I am talking about clearly.

Did I mention my name is Arnold Minnos? I myself am in high school and a dedicated gamer to boot. I am 15 and in the 9th grade. My parents are rich, but always busy so I stay most my time home playing video games, or watching VHS, (Virtual Holographic System) which is basically a circular television and you can look from nearly every point of view. I am a stuborn kid when it comes down to it, and im really skinny. I have brown hair and brown eyes and I wear contacts.

If this is a real story, things don't just come together like that. It would take a good one to two pages to describe a person with good detail. Things like this don't happen in one sentence.

[earth_lord]

thank you, more detail will be added

[Lightknight924]

yeah it's a good book ao far.

[earth_lord]

once again i thank everyone for there comments

[pfff]

Originally Posted by earth_lord

I thank you for your comment but dont count your chickens before they hatch

in other words wait until your read the whole thing im writing then make your most awesome opinion

okay i got it, i look forward to reading the rest

[earth_lord]

good thank you for understanding

[Snapps]

What grade are you in? Because at higher grades they tell you how to use better wording, sentence structure, and other little things that would be amazing for a story if a person wrote it.

If you say your grade, I can think back at what they taught me then and tell you what you are missing.

[Afrobean]

Guys, this kid was banned a bit back for being underage. Don't you guys remember?

I'd say he's a freshman in highschool, or in junior high still. That is definitely not the time to be "writting" a book, unless one is very advanced, which I can see that this earth_lord is not (No offense intended).