Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

[Dynam0]

Very nice summative commentary

[choof]

I feel like I just need to flip a coin and figure out if I'm gay or not rofl

[dAnceguy117]

Kinsey scale, bro

[Izzy]

Originally Posted by moches

also because I haven't hated on this guy enough I'm just going to say that it's heteronormative to assume every guy wants a girl. some of us fellas are hella gay 8)

Awwww yis.

[EzExZeRo7497]

Holy shit I just read the entire thing and I don't think I've cringed so hard in my entire life lmao

it's so stereotypical, condescending and just flat out ignorant i don't even understand how can anyone be this closed-minded

Originally Posted by moches

dissection

nailed it

[cetaka]

maybe instead of talking about rly obvious things we should analyse the thing i posted some more cause its more interesting imo

[dAnceguy117]

Originally Posted by moches

benevolent sexism

that is an excellent phrase. gonna steal that.

[Cavernio]

"It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women."

If we're generally speaking...From Wikipedia about libido: "Biologically, levels of hormones such as testosterone are believed to affect sex drive; social factors, such as work and family, also have an impact; as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress."

(now goes and hides behind a rock while angry people throw things at me)

(honest question) Do you think that it's purely social pressures and influence that make prostitution far more common for women than men?

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by KgZ

women have more freedom to choice their own identity while men do not

You're free if you think you are.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by choof

I feel like I just need to flip a coin and figure out if I'm gay or not rofl

Choof, I dunno what's going on in your head. You're gay, then you're asexual, then you love dogs wrapped in bubble wrap...come on now, make up your mind.

Seriously though, have you fallen in love or felt a deep connection or desire that involves you wanting to touch them (not necessarily sexually, just wanting to touch them) because it does or you think it would feel nice, with a woman? Now answer the same question but replace woman with man.

If you said yes to both those, you're bisexual. If you said yes to only one of those, it seems likely you're gay or straight.

I find questionnaires about sexuality a little off-putting myself. They seem solely focussed on sex and ignore the emotions involved. I think of myself as very straight as I've never felt anything remotely close to romantic love for a woman, but because I wouldn't shy away from sex with a woman if the rest of the sexual situation called for it, (and I would probably enjoy it), then I fall somewhere in the middle of some of the most popular sexual scales. I feel misrepresented by them.
Furthermore, I think it doesn't help lesbian and gay people truly explain who they are to outsiders if they're getting categorized solely by sexual activities. Yes it's your sexual identity, but most of us call love as more than just sex, so being gay or straight is about more than just sex too.

[moches]

Originally Posted by cetaka

maybe instead of talking about rly obvious things we should analyse the thing i posted some more cause its more interesting imo

hypebeast can only run on HYPE for so long, but swag is ~forever~. swagbeast beats hypebeast easily

Originally Posted by KgZ

women have more freedom to choice their own identity while men do not

I'd say this is true in some contexts, not universally but there's definitely merit to the idea. Generally speaking, feminism has allowed women to build communities centered on solidarity and mutual respect. Men haven't really talked about those things, at least not on the level of a social movement on the level of feminism, and perhaps that's the next step to take in order to secure gender equality.

NOTE: I do acknowledge that men are still far ahead of women in many economic/political ways - they earn more, hold more positions of power and aren't subject to the same level of sexual scrutiny that women are. I'm not quite sure how that fits into this discussion, and I'm open to hearing more about it.

Originally Posted by Cavernio

"It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women."

If we're generally speaking...From Wikipedia about libido: "Biologically, levels of hormones such as testosterone are believed to affect sex drive; social factors, such as work and family, also have an impact; as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress."

(now goes and hides behind a rock while angry people throw things at me)

(honest question) Do you think that it's purely social pressures and influence that make prostitution far more common for women than men?

*looks around for rocks, finds none*

Thanks for bringing that up, actually - it's true that hormones affect men and women differently and that should be taken into consideration when discussing gender equality. I don't think it's fair to say that men who either don't want to have sex or channel their sex drive through other ways are somehow lesser, though, which feels like what the writer is implying with this entire statement.

Regarding your question - I don't think it's purely social pressures and influence, but I...I honestly don't know. I'd wager that one really big part of it is that men who have lots of sex are more accepted by society than women who have lots of sex, which makes it a lot easier to succeed as a female prostitute than as a male prostitute. It's not the only cause, but it's something.

[moches]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Choof, I dunno what's going on in your head. You're gay, then you're asexual, then you love dogs wrapped in bubble wrap...come on now, make up your mind.

Seriously though, have you fallen in love or felt a deep connection or desire that involves you wanting to touch them (not necessarily sexually, just wanting to touch them) because it does or you think it would feel nice, with a woman? Now answer the same question but replace woman with man.

If you said yes to both those, you're bisexual. If you said yes to only one of those, it seems likely you're gay or straight.

I find questionnaires about sexuality a little off-putting myself. They seem solely focussed on sex and ignore the emotions involved. I think of myself as very straight as I've never felt anything remotely close to romantic love for a woman, but because I wouldn't shy away from sex with a woman if the rest of the sexual situation called for it, (and I would probably enjoy it), then I fall somewhere in the middle of some of the most popular sexual scales. I feel misrepresented by them.
Furthermore, I think it doesn't help lesbian and gay people truly explain who they are to outsiders if they're getting categorized solely by sexual activities. Yes it's your sexual identity, but most of us call love as more than just sex, so being gay or straight is about more than just sex too.

this is honestly really really well-said. thank you.

[qqwref]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

Seriously though, have you fallen in love or felt a deep connection or desire that involves you wanting to touch them (not necessarily sexually, just wanting to touch them) because it does or you think it would feel nice, with a woman? Now answer the same question but replace woman with man.

If you said yes to both those, you're bisexual. If you said yes to only one of those, it seems likely you're gay or straight.

welp I'm asexual

[G.S.M]

I kick goddamn doors down with my dick

this whelp better not get in my way

[devonin]

If you said yes to both those, you're bisexual. If you said yes to only one of those, it seems likely you're gay or straight.

Hooray gender binary as applied to sexual preference!

[Cavernio]

Yeah, I suppose 'falling in love' is the strongest of romantic feelings one can have, and I guess I didn't exactly define it very well. Perhaps that wasn't the best way to classify a romantic feeling for someone, as you may never go through life experiencing that even if you have the capacity to experience it.

I dunno about asexuality...some people don't fall in love but love sex, others fall in love but don't like sex, but it seems both can then use the term asexual?

I agree with pretty much most of what you've said too moches. Just because a man falls under a position of power within society, doesn't mean that he is more free to be himself if his self is, for instance, a soft-spoken, 'feminine' person.

Off-topic: Sometimes I do wonder if it's actually good to break down gender-barriers though. Rather, not just gender barriers, but all socially defined roles. It feels like, somehow, we as a society must be missing out on something by focussing on breaking down the idea of fitting into a social defined role, when humanity seemingly spent thousands of years creating and recreating social roles for individuals to fill, when social roles seemingly must have some importance to humanity as a whole. I don't know what this would be, I don't really have any sort of logic to it. Surely society wouldn't break down if we all felt more free to be more natural to ourselves, and yet I feel that that seems more imminent if we break social roles. But that's ridiculous I know. And I truly DO believe that people should be more free to be themselves as I think it will make people happier to not have to struggle against a norm they don't fit into.

If you're a man and you fit the stereotype of a macho man, or you want to be the type of man this guy was saying men should be, there's nothing wrong with that. It's wrong/off, however, to perceive that just because OTHER men aren't fitting into that category more and more, that your own self-identity is being challenged.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by devonin

Hooray gender binary as applied to sexual preference!

It specifically wasn't binary... Or are you talking about the idea that I'm using 'man' and 'woman' in strictly-defined terms?
*sigh* You're right, I'm assuming choof identifies as a man...maybe choof's issue isn't that they don't know they're attracted to but is rather unsure of their own gender. Maybe choof has only ever been attracted to cross-dressers or individuals who choose to identify themselves as genderless. Perhaps choof has fallen for someone of unknown gender or choof thought their gender was opposite of what choof thought it was and now finds that they (choof) still maybe loves that individual upon finding out that their gender was not what they thought it was.

Maybe choofers is too hung-up on identifying their sexual identity and my previous post was just confusing choofers more by trying to railroad choofer's sexual preferences into the vocabulary that we use which is wholly not large enough to encompass the vastness of possibility that we have for sexual and romantic feelings.

[qqwref]

It seems to me that non-binarily-gendered people are rare enough, and differ enough inside that group, that we don't need to bother labeling individual types of attractions to them. Everyone is going to have their own personal orientation (except those who are attracted to all or none of the group), and it's probably going to depend on the non-binary person's other aspects anyway - such as their personality - rather than on their precise gender identification.

So, it'd be kinda like how we have words for people who specifically don't eat meat or can't eat dairy, but we don't bother having a word for people who like mozzarella and gruyere and swiss and american and goat's cheese, but not provolone or pepperjack or gouda.

[devonin]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

It specifically wasn't binary... Or are you talking about the idea that I'm using 'man' and 'woman' in strictly-defined terms?
*sigh* You're right, I'm assuming choof identifies as a man...maybe choof's issue isn't that they don't know they're attracted to but is rather unsure of their own gender. Maybe choof has only ever been attracted to cross-dressers or individuals who choose to identify themselves as genderless. Perhaps choof has fallen for someone of unknown gender or choof thought their gender was opposite of what choof thought it was and now finds that they (choof) still maybe loves that individual upon finding out that their gender was not what they thought it was.

Maybe choofers is too hung-up on identifying their sexual identity and my previous post was just confusing choofers more by trying to railroad choofer's sexual preferences into the vocabulary that we use which is wholly not large enough to encompass the vastness of possibility that we have for sexual and romantic feelings.

I'm mostly referring to the statement that "if both, you are bi, if only one, you are probably gay or straight" except that that has always and will always be a very fluid scale.

You've got your bisexuals, your homosexuals, your heterosexuals, and you've also got your heteroflexibles, your asexuals, your omnisexuals, your nonsexuals.

A telling point though, is how my browser identified every single one of those as misspelled though.

[choof]

I think the thing is that I don't want to identify as bisexual because of the social stigmatism against it.

I'm also not dating or actively seeking out relationships because I'm broke and... fat lmao.