Tell me your life story.

[Herogashix]

Originally Posted by Reincarnate

I am curious if anyone else's mother fits this profile?

http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html

And I don't mean just one or two points, but like damn near all (like 22+)

Dingding.

edit; didn't read them all, but I skimmed the first few sentences of the points, and they matched pretty well. Gonna read over now though.

[justin_ator]

I'd come back to this but I generally don't like spilling guts on my life story anymore because I just feel like I'm fishing for someone to feel bad for me. Most of the time when I was looking for someone to pity me or care about what was going on, I was met more with disapproval and ridicule for a lot of it. So yeah. I dunno. Nothing really out of the ordinary in my life.

[Reincarnate]

Sometimes it can be therapeutic to share stories simply because it helps you feel less alone when you see other people have gone through similar things. It can also help you heal / rationalize your wounds / etc. It doesn't necessarily have to be about seeking pity. People who've gone through shitty upbringings (such as myself) don't need pity. It's nice to hear that other people can sympathize, sure, but ultimately it's about figuring out how to seek closure for the past and how to move forward in the future.

[FFR4EVA_00]

Originally Posted by justin_ator

I'd come back to this but I generally don't like spilling guts on my life story anymore because I just feel like I'm fishing for someone to feel bad for me. Most of the time when I was looking for someone to pity me or care about what was going on, I was met more with disapproval and ridicule for a lot of it. So yeah. I dunno. Nothing really out of the ordinary in my life.

oh cool you took the thoughts out of my head and worded them like shit
although i also don't like thinking about the past because it makes me dwell on how my "actions" have completely fucked me

[justin_ator]

Originally Posted by FFR4EVA_00

oh cool you took the thoughts out of my head and worded them like shit

feel free to reword and write your own post next time? lol

[mi40]

nah dudes high school is a sack of shit
play all day smoke weed everrrday yolo

jk everybody who's in hi skool or entering it (im lookin @ u 13/14s) try ure best...

[Ohaider]

try your best and brace yourself for four years of waiting seven hours to go home on a daily basis

[blindreper1179]

I'm bored as hell, so here goes what I can remember.

BORN- March 19, 1989, early morning about 8:30 I don't remember pretty much anything before kindergarten.

Except before I started school, one of my cousins went to read to me, and I said let me do it, and read him the book. He asked my mom if she knew I could read, and she didn't. I taught myself I guess.
That and my moms car stalled on a main road, and went to use a pay phone. While she was doing this, the car caught on fire, and I was still inside. Luckily she saved me. (obviously)

My only full brother was born Sept. 91. I was the perfect older brother! That surely did change as the years went by.

My dad's dad took me to cedar point. I remember staying in the hotel there and on one of the nights, I wet the bed. I was sharing the bed with my one of my cousins. He wasn't too pleased. I also pooped my swimming trunks in the pool. I didn't tell anyone and kept it there until we got back to the hotel room and put it in the toilet.

My parents weren't two pea's in a pod. They were always fighting. My dad is an alcoholic. Always has been. One night I remember looking out their bedroom door, and my dad was yelling at my mom. Next thing I know, he smacks her. I was stunned, I didn't know what to do... Fortunately my brother and I weren't abused physically.

Kindergarten-Went to three different schools. My parents split during the first. It sucked always being the new kid that young. Don't remember the first at all except I liked a girl. The second is a blur too, except that during recess we had a bowling set, and two other kids kept setting up the pins wrong and I kept yelling at them. The teacher said take turns setting them up however. I was so pissed. Yes teacher, let's promote wrong! Finally went to the third school and stayed there until end of fourth grade. Don't remember much, except there was three other people who had the same name as me, and a kid that ate paper. Around this time my mom notices that I pay attention to little details like rims on cars. (We were driving and my mom saw a van that looked like her sisters, and said "Is that Aunt kim?" and I reply, "No mom, the wheels are different."

My fifth birthday was awesome. I received a Sega and a Nintendo. Videogames taking over starts now.

First grade- I remember slightly being a teacher's pet. Talked to a few fellow students. Made my first best friend that I hung out with until high school graduation. Things I remember is calling home sick because I didn't know how to jump rope in gym class and didn't want to get made fun of. Dad wasn't pleased. A kid pulled off his nail because he hurt it the day before. First real gross thing I remember. Playing mouse trap, we got the green guy stuck in the ceiling. one of the girls I liked made me cry because she said the teacher didn't like me and wasn't going to let me leave school. This was the beginning of being picked on as it lasted until graduation of high school as well.

Second grade- Parents were getting divorced, lived with mom. I started writing her maiden name on my school work subconsciously. (My hate for my dad's side of my family was always known deep in me I suppose) She told me that wasn't my last name and to stop. We made a huge Green paper mache T-Rex. This turns out to be the only thing I ever stay after school for through schooling. During a field trip I wet myself around lunch, and didn't tell anyone all day. Sat in pee for the rest of the day. -_- First girl I liked that liked me back. We held hands on the bus and what have you. She said she liked the Packers, and I bought her a pacers pencil. _-_ (didn't like sports then or now)

I can't remember when exactly, but around this time, my mom was driving and the front passenger wheel went flying off. She spun out and we safely made it to a parking lot. To this day we both think my dad removed the lug nuts.

Third Grade-Divorce was finalized around this time. Got my first and only two detentions ever. One for fighting. I was being beaten up, and I got in trouble.... The other for throwing those pink erasers in art class. I was bored enough one day and found out how many licks it took to get to the chewy center of a tootsie pop. It was around 450, can't remember the exact number. I read Goosebumps in elementary, and that was it voluntarily wise. During recess one day, two boys were fighting, and I told them to stop. One of them thought it was a good idea to kick me in the private. I told the lunch lady and said I had to pee. I peed blood. My dad lived in Detroit around this time, and I saw black people for the first time there. I was scared of them right off the bat. My family isn't racist (that I know of, they didn't say racist things around me) so I don't know why that is. My brother and I would have to sleep on my dads water bed in the basement with him because we didn't have our own rooms. Being the drinker he is, he got up and pissed all over bags of clothes we had next to the bed. I was awake, I saw "it", I was/am scared. Most people are skeptics, but I would dream bits of the future up to this point or shortly after. It faded for sure before ten. I remembered almost all of my dreams, and a few I had at this time, would repeat until I was about 15.

Fourth Grade- First teacher I didn't like. I started to realize people on another level. As in characteristics and intentions. I was sick multiple times and threw up twice in school. One on the way to the bathroom. Nice long trail from classroom to bathroom. Another on the way to art class and almost threw up all over the kid in front of me. Good thing for hands!

Fifth Grade- At this point in life, I was forced to move into my dads house. Luckily he moved out of Detroit back into the same city where my mom lived, and where I reside now, Roseville. Unluckily, I had to live with him, my brother, aunt and uncle with 3 kids, and my grandma. Devil family. New elementary, new kid once again. Made some friends, one in a particular way. Story goes like so. I was with a group of kids and across the playground was one kid. They were making fun of him, and I said guys watch this. I walk to him, say don't mind them, I'll be your friend. As he drops his guard, I kick him in the balls, run back, and we all laugh. I apologized the next day, and we were best friends for quite some time. Pokemon started, and I was obsessed as any other kid. Had tons of cards, brought them to school to trade and play. Eventually they were banned. D: My dad made me play baseball. I hated it. I wouldn't bat during the games. Just turn and get hit by the ball. During a practice, my coach said to swing at the ball, so I did. The ball hits my finger and smashes it between the bat. It fractured my finger and you can see the stitches from the baseball on my finger. Had to get a splint, and to this day, I can't close it all the way anymore. During a recess session, I was playing football with a bunch of kids. My team scored, and we were all standing around. A kid shoves me from behind, making me fall. As I was falling, there was a kid on the ground. My eyebrow area of my skull hits his head, and my veins/eyelid instantly explode. I start crying holding my eye. Eventually the kids and lunch lady calm me down and pull my hands away. They look in fear as my eye is swollen shut. A bump about the size of a golf ball replaced my eye.

I'm done for now. If anyone wants to know more. I'll edit/post more. I've read some so far, and all I can say is, wow.

[PriestREA]

Well here we go.
Hope y'all like it.

On April 24th, 1995, I was born in North York, ON - just a little while outside of downtown Toronto, to a seemingly loving and caring family. I say seemingly because they took quite good care of me as a child despite their neglectful ways as I got older. I moved to Houston in 1996, as my father had found a much better job (what he tells me). We lived in Twin Lakes, an extremely affluent area with million dollar homes. Suffice it to say, I was quite into the "upper-class" lifestyle.

My brother was born in Houston on June 5th, 1997. He was born well under normal weight (3 pounds 14 ounces?) and prematurely by around 3 weeks. For the first six months of his life, all seemed extremely well and my family seemed to be quite relieved that his premature birth had not caused any visible complications. Sadly, we were wrong. At the age of 6 months, my brother began to develop complications while breathing, raspy breath, shortness of breath etc. It was at this time we had taken him to a professional for a diagnosis/or lack of diagnosis to be made. We found out that my brother had Spinal Muscular Atrophy with Respiratory Distress type 1 (SMARD1). Very few children with SMARD live to the age of 10 years old, and they cited this fact while informing my parents how severe SMARD really was. He required full-time respiratory assistance from a ventilator, as doctors knew his condition would deteriorate. Believe it or not, my brother is still alive today at 16 years old. The doctors were wrong about that; however his condition has deteriorated rapidly. Soon my brother was crippled to the point of being bed-ridden, his only form of mobility was via wheelchair.

I don't remember much of my first years in school, except the time I pissed my pants while playing in the sandbox in kindergarten. I was sent home with a pair of pink corduroy pants and cried the entire night. It was probably at this time where I stopped pissing myself. I had no other incidents of leakage since that date.

Grade 2 (probably 2001 or 2002) saw me move to Calgary as my dad had found yet another job. I attended Stanley Jones Elementary for a portion of Grade 2, but transferred to another school since we moved areas in Calgary. The only notable memories I have were being called eraser kid (from my tendencies to eat the erasers off of pencils and chew the pencil afterwords), beaver (no explanation needed) and freakshow - after I was dragged out of a classroom by my mom because I threw a fit when someone stole my pokemon cards.

Captain John Palliser (my school for half of grade 2) was hardly eventful. All I remember there was calling my teacher mommy once and having my older cousin (in grade 6 at the moment) throw my new frisbee on top of a roof. I hated him for a little while because of that, but him and I look back at it and laugh hysterically.

Westmount Charter School was my school from Grade 3 all the way to my graduation which concluded in May of this year. This school brought some of my closest friends along but also my darkest moments. In grade 3, I met my best friend Jonathan. We literally got along because we made fart noises/burp noises on the table. Eventful story, isn't it? Jonathan and I became best of friends, despite me stabbing him with a pencil and being dragged out by the principal to his office. Anyways, I was pretty hyperactive at the time, but my parents had always thought it was just me being a kid. The summer of my Grade 3 year came, and I went to Lebanon to visit some of my family for six weeks. Lebanon was awesome, I started to play Counter-Strike 1.5 in an Internet Cafe and got into it really quickly. It was that year I started to play Counter-Strike all the time on my father's shitty Dell computer.

Grade 4 came along, and so did PokemonCrater. Jonathan and I would play PokemonCrater practically every day in class when the teacher wasn't looking. Soon we got a bunch of other friends into it. My most prized possession was a level 100 shiny Flygon, until my friend Fabian tried to show me a trick which ended up releasing my Flygon. We're still friends despite my hatred toward him in Grade 4.

I continued to play Counter-Strike and Runescape extensively through Grade 4 all the way until Grade 8. Grades 5 and 6 weren't too memorable, but Grade 7 is where my life basically became a clusterfuck. By grade 7, I was extremely overweight, weighing in at something short of 300 pounds - I may have even broke that mark. I thought nothing of it, played some World of Warcraft and Counter-Strike, and continued on my merry way. That is... until the bullying in Grade 7 started. Fatty, lardo, Jupiter (I laugh at that nickname now), I heard it all, but names were something I could brush off. That's until the physical abuse started. There are countless times where I'd have my head down waiting for the morning class to begin and some asshole would always come and staple me in the back, I'm pretty sure there might be a mark there. He also stapled me in the back of the neck and in the hand. This guy was a complete douche to me. Sometimes while walking in the hallway, him and his hockey buddies would slash at my shins and cut them open pretty badly. I took it upon myself to finish school and get the fuck out and go home. Home wasn't any better. My parents were also terrible about my weight, calling me the same names that they would call me in school. I would always have some days with shitty moods before this, but it was at this time where the mood shifts were well noticed and well documented (within my brain, at least). My suicidal ideations came to light on an evening where multiple kids from my school began to post an email from my inbox telling a girl I liked her. Someone went on my computer while I was working on it in the library (the school wouldn't allow you to lock them) and printed out multiple copies of the email, forwarding it to other students as well. Soon, the email was plastered everywhere in the school. I cried and cried that night, thinking I would take my life. I posted one of those statuses on Facebook asking for help, and was willing to talk about my problems to someone who reached out to me. Instead I got "kill yourself ******" "the world would be better off without you" messages on that status. I took some sleeping pills from my mother that night and my parents had rushed me to a hospital to make sure I was okay. I was put in the emergency room for a short while, before being moved to a unit for monitoring. I was sent home because the nurses and psychiatrists didn't find me to be a threat to myself or others at the time. That was my only attempt at suicide in Grade 7. Yet in Grade 8, suicide became a regular thought...

I was still overweight in Grade 8, and this was about the time I started to play a lot of Stepmania. Although I was godawful at it, I continued to play in class or at home because it gave me something to do. People continued to poke fun at me throughout all of Grade 8, incidents where people would defecate in my change of shoes while I was in gym class, or where people would piss on my clothes/flush them down the toilet, leaving me to wear sweaty shit for the rest of the day. Needless to say, that didn't help the bullying much. Every day was a new type of harassment, sometimes getting sucker punched in the head, kicked while I was down in flag football, tackled into poles - hit with baseball bats, and I'd always get caught for lashing out and swearing at them (these bullies would do it when the teacher wasn't looking, or was absent) and would all report me upon me swearing at them. I got suspended a couple of times for inappropriate language and to me it provoked more suicidal ideations. I felt so alone when everyone would attack me and nobody would notice, but I was too afraid and shy to say anything about it.

Grade 9 was a year where I skipped school a little bit to play World of Warcraft and Counter-Strike among other games. This was also the year where I decided to lose some weight and try to make myself more appealing to people; to quash the bullying. It didn't cease, and I was still verbally and physically attacked by bullies. That year, I tried to hang myself, but I had used a crappy rope from my garage which was hardly durable. The thing snapped and the noise alerted my parents who saw half of the rope dangling from the ceiling. With a little bit of redness at the neck, my parents were certain that I had attempted to physically harm myself or take my own life that night. I was yet again admitted to the hospital for testing, but this time I didn't get out so easily. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type I, although many thought I was someone with Major Depressive Disorder (unipolar depression; having no distinguishable mania and manic episodes). I was put on Epival in the hospital as a trial run and was later put on Depakene and lithium for treatment of Bipolar. As of late 2011, I started to take Zyprexa instead and it is far better for me.

My grades in school were dropping substantially, and on a constant basis my family would attack me and say it was my gaming habits. I stopped my gaming habits for the rest of the year, and my grades fell even lower - and I tried to use that as proof that gaming was not a sole factor in my suffering academic performance. My parents just ignored it and continued to reiterate gaming as the problem.

In Grade 10, I was down to a weight of 240 pounds, almost 60 pounds from my original weight, and I felt pretty good about it. I was still bullied massively and yelled at and ridiculed at home. It was here where I decided I'd want to move out from my house that summer and live alone.

The end of Grade 10 was my darkest moment. Not because of suicide or depression, but because of how life went for me. I moved out that summer with a friends family for a couple weeks, and during that time I met an old friend from gaming downtown. At this time, I had been participating in ESEA-main for Counter-Strike: Source, and was doing fairly well - I had a chance of applying as a backup for one of the invite teams, but was eventually rejected once a player with better stats came around. Anyways, this friend had been selling drugs (particularly weed) to people for some money. I really needed money at the time and wished to live alone as well, so I got into that business for a little while. I sold weed for 2 years while working at a Safeway. That year I made shit tons of money, enough for rent, food, computer, internet, cell phone bills and much more. The next year, 3 friends from another school moved into me and we all decided to sell together. I had my ARCT certificate at the time, so I also worked by teaching children in the area piano. Piano made me around $35 an hour, so I couldn't complain there. With school and piano and my other job I had barely any free time. Gaming was hardly important to me at that point and it was really just making some money. I made much more money while living with my "friends", and all of us easily brought 100k+ - two of them were selling crack/heroin in the same place I was in.

Just recently, my parents finally decided to get me tested and I was discovered to have ADHD. I was put on adderall for my grade 12 year and finished with a 95 average. How's that for "gaming ruined your life"? I was still very capable of achieving high grades with the right treatment.

End of grade 11, I also had a girlfriend for 10 months. She cheated on me with her ex and I went into a spiralling depression/with suicidal ideations etc. I was extremely clingy, super passive aggressive, and hysterical after she broke up with me. I was a fucking psycho, and I needed to get help. I was in therapy for six months to ease the pain of the breakup. I feel so much better now and there isn't a day that goes by where I think about it again.

I smoke weed every single day of the week, (woah I'm so badass) and I have a lot of money left in my bank account (some from my grandparents and others from dealing). I got out of the dealing game for good and work as a piano teacher for now. I'm attending my local university this fall, on September 3rd and trying to land a job at a Best Buy. I don't plan to stop smoking/the occasional drunk fuck at parties - but I think I'll do just fine.

Parents and I have started to work things out, and I am now living with them again. They are trying to help me through university now and are really trying to make amends after a shitty past. I hope everything works out. My brother has been off and on. He has had countless seizures sending him to the emergency room and ICU for a few weeks and back, but he's stayed strong through all of this. Although he can't talk, him and I are infinitely close and he's a miracle, he's also someone I look up to. He has a pretty tough life, so I stay grateful for the things I do have. I can proudly say I haven't had a serious suicidal ideation since my breakup and I've been a pretty happy person. I'm trying to get back into professional Counter-Strike and picked up League of Legends. I probably won't get good at LoL, but it's a fun game

Forgot to add, I'm 188 pounds now and I go to the gym six times a week. Take that school peeps

[mi40]

you should sell your adderall to uni peeps since you're diagnosed with ADHD
way less dangerous than ur friends dealing crack heroin an weed, and brings in as much money

[PriestREA]

Originally Posted by mi40

you should sell your adderall to uni peeps since you're diagnosed with ADHD
way less dangerous than ur friends dealing crack heroin an weed, and brings in as much money

A lot of people told me to do that, and I heard they sell for $20 a pill. Since I moved out I left those "friends" that sold that kind of shit, not the kind of people I think I should be around anymore. Had an experience where I was jumped by a guy and it was pretty cray, think he had a knife so it could've went sour - don't sell drugs kids

[mi40]

well when you're selling weed and heroin i guess peeps can jump you

adderall is for the peeps who need to get an A and spend days in the library

teehee
all the business/econ majors over here like to deny the existence of adderall while asking mom n dad for $ for pills

[DossarLX ODI]

Honestly I can't remember that much from back when I was a little kid, but I can say I was massively fucked up before I actually got involved in FFR.

All I remember from my childhood are fragments of continuous parental abuse. These are a few examples from a text file I wrote around a month back:

That incident in elementary school where my bitch teacher called home and kicked me out of a book club even when I apologized for saying that a book sucked and right as I entered home my dad came running at me with a spoon and spanking my ass, feeling powerful and loving spanking his son to see him cry in misery, not interested in listening to anything he has to say. He's just an idiot, right?

I also haven't forgotten that incident where he chucked a toothbrush at my skull constantly because I didn't want to see what he wanted to say about brushing my teeth (keep in mind I was in my single digit years when this happened and I was traumatized after that elementary school incident) for what felt like ten minutes.

The above two were my father, but my mother is also a witch. Any time she gets corrected, ESPECIALLY if I'm talking, she throws a 5-year old temper tantrum, yells, and sounds like a whorish witch. This happened way too frequently when I was a little kid. Even to this day my parents don't listen (fuck, my entire FAMILY doesn't listen).

But yeah, in elementary school I remember talking to my teacher about not having any friends. After, my classmates were like "we're your friends!" but that obviously didn't mean anything.

5th grade was when I started to actually do homework. For the first two weeks I continuously handed in assignments late, and after that point I started to make an effort to get everything in on time. It's a good thing I got rid of that bad habit early on. I think I got a detention for having so many late assignments, haha.

6th grade I got fed up with my parents always saying they knew what was best for me even though all they've done up to this point was yell at me and insult me. This was also when I got caught cheating on a test -- academics was basically my escape from my family's constant berating. I already had an A on the test, but I became so perfectionist that I wanted to cheat to get that 100% -- the situation got worse from here though.

The worst rage I had was when my middle brother said something that made me so mad (I forget what it was) that I took a knife from the kitchen, went back down to him, and had thoughts about killing him over it. But I decided to give it another chance; this is always a scary turning point for me to remember. If I had actually killed my brother, I probably would have winded up killing my father too (or even myself from shock), and have been put into an insane asylum. A lot of the rage was also collected from how fucking unfairly my parents treated me.

I'd like to take the focus off of that and go to my first experiences in rhythm gaming. I played DDR first some time back in the early 2000s; it was on a cruise ship and it was a 3rd mix machine. I couldn't pass difficulty 2 songs. In 2005 I was able to leave my last class in middle school early to play in the high school DDR club (my brothers took me there). This was also the time period where I went to a DDR tournament in another high school and I was a small 6th grader facing high school seniors haha. I wound up getting second place, getting a C on Max 300 Heavy while my opponent (who I remember was Greg, but that's it) got a B on Max 300 Heavy. My brothers got guitar hero when it first came out as well as DDR Extreme 2. 2005 was also when I first found FFR -- Captain Jack was released in 2005 briefly, so I was around FFR back early enough to witness some old history haha.

But going back to how psychologically fucked up I was from all the insults and constant hostile attitudes, I had thoughts of molesting women (this is not puberty stuff, this is blood and gore violence) and other grisly thoughts. I basically was always looking for revenge against my family and wanting to kill them. It was terrible. I look back to the comics I made way back as a little kid and they were very violent -- they just didn't have any blood drawn in them.

I wound up using double setup on my accounts BPM guy and RVL. There was still more cheating and trauma going on after my Molto Vivace thread on ffdfadsdasd. I discovered omgdidinsane in early 2008 somehow but I don't remember where I found it. I made an account "DossarLX" on there and since there was a lot of BS drama on my other accounts I decided to just make a new account and keep a low profile. For anyone wondering about the "ODI" part of my FFR username, this is where it came into play. I had my username as DossarLX ODI in an attempt to show I was DossarLX from ODI (omgdidinsane) and I basically didn't post much. I wanted the drama to die down a little bit while I also posted vibrating scores. My first pass on MIHC was back in may 2008; as I've stated many times 2008 was the vibrating age and I basically played a lot of vibrating files I had a lot of trouble passing in this time period. My first One Minutes Edit pass was some time in July 2008 before my 14th birthday. The outstanding achievement in 2008 was my Jackhammer Madness AAA achieved on December 2nd.

A lot of posts I made back in the 2008-2009 period sounded very hostile and erratic compared to how I post now. I got trolled a lot back then which didn't really help with how much anger I already had from being insulted from my family all the time. I had nobody else to talk to basically, so I just continued doing my own thing. 2010 was when I started being more social and knowing more members on FFR; my first chat with Byron was back in 2009 when we were making Rebound Vibrajacking Pack I believe.

Long story short, getting the vibrating passes and Jackhammer Madness 2008 made me have a better vision of my future. The responses I got in my Jackhammer Madness AAA thread were a colossal difference from what I was used to: being insulted constantly for all the previous years. I started to get to know more users on FFR and my best friends have come from FFR; I've pulled through many tough situations due to their help.

It really gets to me that there is no diplomacy in my family. My father's a grumpy old fuck, my mother sounds like a whore and a witch, there are always bad jokes about me that are just plain harassment, and I don't even consider my biological family a family anymore. Anything they like I basically don't like, and then it's a matter of interrupting and/or yelling during conversation rather than having genuine discussions. I couldn't even say that I wanted to talk to my father without being yelled at without him smashing a glass table, fuck -- he even said I was a GUEST, not his son. The negativity is impossible to reduce.

Every FFR meetup has infinitely been better than any other activity I've had with my biological family. My biological family at this point is just a hindrance.

[Arch0wl]

Originally Posted by DossarLX ODI

I couldn't even say that I wanted to talk to my father without being yelled at without him smashing a glass table, fuck -- he even said I was a GUEST, not his son. The negativity is impossible to reduce.

Holy shit.

[mi40]

Originally Posted by DossarLX ODI

My biological family at this point is just a hindrance.

dossar i think you're pretty bitter about this and it's understandable but you have to give it some thought

if you think your biological family is truly just a hindrance at this point, then you're thinking wrong

because even though you've suffered from abuse in the past, your biological family clearly did not think of you as an enough of a '''''hindrance''''' to abandon you or threw you out

your parents have paid for everything you have in the past 18 years without doing so much as forcing you to work part-time jobs or refusing to send you off to college because it costs too much

think about what you've said about 'killing your brother and father' in middle school and considering your family as just a 'hindrance' at this point because even though your mom/dad did some fucked up things to you, they are still your parents and you need to show them love and treat them with respect because they spent the past 18 years raising you and well, they could've been doing something else but because you're their son they chose to feed you and send you to school

[mi40]

cooking, doing dishes, going to work, doing laundry, cleaning up after your mess, driving you to school are all minor things that you never give thought to..

but then you realize they did it because well, deep down inside they still know you're their son and nothing can change that

[Reincarnate]

That is so ridiculously wrong mi40 and it's precisely that kind of faux logic that allows abuse to persist.

If you're trolling, cut that shit out. If not, re-examine the constructs.


Dossar, read my links and get back to me.

[mi40]

everybody's different but if you're going to be bitter about your family your entire life then sadly you will turn into a bitter old man as well

[mi40]

ps) i think you're being just bitter about your own situation as well, i don't know all the details but i feel it's better to be either proactively indifferent than being bitter

e: wtf i'm not trolling, i'm just concerned because having thoughts about killing your brother and father is NOT okay and dossar needs help to either make amends to his family or completely cut them out (without shit like this: "I had thoughts of molesting women (this is not puberty stuff, this is blood and gore violence) and other grisly thoughts. I basically was always looking for revenge against my family and wanting to kill them.")

[blindreper1179]

That's all person to person. I'm bitter about my dad's side of the family, and have no desire to talk to them ever again. That doesn't cloud my judgement on how I'm going to grow up.
(I didn't finish mine, but I left my dad's side when I was 16. He "raised" me until that point.