How to get over social anxiety?

[massflavour]

itt aspergers

[iironiic]

I am sure many of us has experienced a moment in life when we fear about how we are perceived by others. I have certainly gone through a few stages where I question myself about what others think of me. Thinking about things like this makes one much more worried than one should be. I was actually being really anxious moments ago reflecting on how worried I am about possibly losing one of my closest friends, until I came across this thread.

As suggested by a handful of others in this thread, try not to worry so much about it. If you dwell on that thought, there would be no enjoyment in life. Try and enjoy your friendships and relationships as much as you can. If people don't appreciate who you are, then you saved yourself from a fallible friendship.

Being socially anxious is just like dwelling on the fact that we will die one day. Instead of grasping onto that mindset, try and enjoy life as much as you can!

[Pseudo Enigma]

Originally Posted by massflavour

itt

did someone say assburgers?

[Syhto]

the best advice is probably to stay in the moment. If you start feeling your mind go thinking about possibilities of this and that, how you're being perceived, find something still to tune into and re-focus your intention. If your intention is to stay calm and collected, etc, then refocus that intention.

For example something I will do is have something I want to say in a social context, but people are talking and I don't want to be perceived as w/e. But if I refocus on staying calm and staying in my zone, it's much easier to say whatever I feel needs to be said or would generate the feeling I'm feeling, void of any nervousness. Even if you are nervous, that's ok. A lot of bad feelings can be avoided if you're honest with yourself and the people around you.

FOR EXAMPLE you may do something you think is really awkward or weird, or w/e, and someone gives you a crazy look, you could say or examine how you feel. Like if you feel disturbed, you might laugh to yourself and think, well that was disturbing. But that's all it has to be, it doesn't have to wear on your mind all day or make you think less of your ability to act.

Continuously going in circles over possibilities is the worst, rather than being there and offering your opinions or input, which in some cases could very well be needed and graciously received. The thing is, you never know until you put it out there.

Anxiety does play a big role in my day to day life and a whole lot more earlier in life, and I think most people struggle with it in some way or another. If it isn't social anxiety its some other form of anxiety. So when you're nervous about what someone is thinking about you, flip that, they could just as easily be nervous and worried about how they are being received, regardless of how confident they appear. Everyone has issues. Plus, if someone is thinking those sorts of things about you and being judgmental, that rly isn't your problem. I know I don't go around thinking ill of everyone I talk to, some people may, but it isn't your fault if they think badly of you unless you're acting against your better judgement.

All in all... don't take it so seriously. It's up to you how to act, don't feel trapped by limitations you're putting on yourself because of your perceptions of others perceiving you. It's a vicious cycle. it helps to just be yourself and have fun doing it whenever possible

[Cavernio]

I can be pretty bad for participating in conversations. I often just have nothing to say. I haven't gotten anxious about it lately though, more like 'Well this sucks, and it's boring because I'm being boring', but I'm not really anxious about it. Not that all conversations are hard to keep going, not at all, but rather if it's reached the point where I'm experiencing an awkward silence, I'm not going to be able to break it.

[Xiz]

I have a checklist everyday, sometimes filled with tons of things to do, yet sometimes the list is one thing, and one thing only.

1) Make someone smile

If the entire day ends up being miserable, as long as I get to somehow improve atleast one person's day just for a split second, and make them feel slight enjoyment really makes life for me worth living.

I dunno, try that. But don't worry man. Billions of people are alone together. It's that what makes us come together.

[cetaka]

Originally Posted by massflavour

itt aspergers

Wow, so edgy. Not. Stfu noob

[A2P]

Originally Posted by cetaka

Wow, so edgy. Not. Stfu noob

^Yea.

[moches]

Wow, I really relate to so many of the posts here. I feel isolated a lot of times here: sometimes I just see somebody glaring (seemingly) at me and it'll ruin my whole day. Other times I hear somebody talking trash about somebody else and immediately feel like I've done something wrong.

I'm generally very comfortable around people I trust, but there's always this lingering fear of what I might be to other people. And no matter what I do, they are always there, bogging me down with their negativity and anger and pessimism.

I seriously don't know what to do. Can somebody please help me?

Also bump ^^;;

[moches]

HALP ):

[Pseudo Enigma]

you are as many people as you are to yourself. You shouldn't care so much about what other people think at all. Once you stop caring, then you will become one person. The person that only matters. Yourself. And trust me, being one person is better and far easier than being many people, which will happen if you try to be someone you are not.

Sorry if that's confusing, but if you understand it, I hope it helped.

edit: but yeah just stop caring what people think too, it's for the best, and if they don't like it they can suck it.

[moches]

I'll think about that :')
thx <3