Suicide

[FlashStinger]

Yes, It is a chemical imbalance, but it is also emotional. Not every problem in your life can be diagnosed with western medicine and thinking that everything is from a chemical imbalance in your head. I had a shrink 2 years ago diagnose me with manic depressive disorder, bi-polar disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. They wanted to put me on like 3 or 4 different drugs to help, but I refused. As a buddhist, I don't take drugs or anything that will alter how my mind works. It helps to just sit back and look at your life. I was at that point where I was about to end it all. I'm no stupid kid, not to brag, but knowing the easiest way s to do it didn't help. I was full well ready to die, but then someone called me. And was like, we haven't done much together lately, wanna go to the movies. That was enough, I sat back and looked at some of the triggers. I mean, I had my problems after that, but today I can honestly say that I have changed. Yes, I understand the chemical Imbalce part of it, I still suffer from that, but I honestly think that it is dwelling in that kind of thought that causes more suffering. Sitting there thinking that you will always be sad and depressed only makes it worse. If you don't have friends, it doesn't mean you never will. You can be happy and depressed, it is ok. Too many teenagers thinking is at the point it's like. "I'm depressed right now. Things Will always get harder, I will never be happy." Well, thats true, if you decide to end it. Every moment is different and you will never be the same.
At times I believe a lot of these problems of suicide come from religion. Not bashing it, it's wonderful and good and all that, but some people think that if they commit suicide, they will go to heaven and be happy. And they look at that as their only way to be truly happy. Yet, we know that there is happiness on earth. And us dying only makes the rest of the world suffer and ourselves to suffer.
On another note, almost all suicide attempts are unsucsessful. I work in a nursing home, and there is a 32 year old man there. He has a wife, to wonderful kids, great job, loving parents, the works. He will never see them again. He is in a drug induced comatose. He swallowed 2 bottles of anti depressants, 1 bottle of asprin, 5 patches that we use at the home (extremely lethal in the human body) , About 3 cups of alchohol, and a bottle of paint thinner. He then got out of his car, and walked into the walmart he had been parked at. Makes it in the door, and crashes. Heart stops, and he is unconcious. This man survived, only because there was an EMT present. Another minute and he would be dead. The shocking thing is many many suicide attempts end like this. It is slightly ironic, that by wanting death, you receive life, for many years to come, in a constant vegetative state. Think about that when you think about suicide. This is the saddest person I have ever seen, lying in his bed, without any ablity to move, he might as well be dead. But, he isn't, he's there. Where he will probably remain for another 30 to 40 years. It isn't a way out. You think your life is bad now, try and imagine living in this state.
That has been a wake up call for me. I see my friend who wants to commit, and has all of the mental issues I have along with schizophrenia and cutting. The main problem I see is being selfish, and the chemical imbalaces. She takes the drugs, and they only help a bit. That is one reason why I think it is in a large part mental. As one who is very into psychology I can see many signs of why she is depressed, besides the chemical imbalance. She wants attention, and she gets it, but she always wants more. Her family life is one of the best i have seen(mormon), and she has some of the greatest friends in the world, yet, she thinks no one notices or cares for her. And she admits that she wants the attention, and that she doesn't get enough, but I'll reiterate this, she dwells in that state of mind that she is unwanted. Even when around many people tending for her, she thinks like that. Chemical imbalces can't really cause that part. It can't control the things you think. Those chemicals cannot affect your thoughts, just how you feel. I can say, that one of the number one reasons is dwelling in the thoughts. another would be Blaming your depression on the imbalances and not taking on some of the responsibility. I mean, when you are ready to commit suicide, it is not the chemicals making you, it is you. You can't blame the chemicals for everything, thats just not the way it works.