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FFR Player
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If you've ever had the pleasure (right) of speaking with me on AIM, for the most part I am a happy person.
I'm not, I don't know why. I don't know why I put on an act for everyone, and no one, including myself, can take me seriously, I'm not stupid, and I don't try to act it, I just think it is a really bad combination of psychological disorders that have managed to hit me at a great time (Yay, high school) So,... yea, I guess the basic premise of this topic isn't a pity party, but more of an open call for help, I know none of you are psychiatrists, but I'm sure some of you suck at life slightly less then I, and anything will help, so here goes. 7th Grade- About halfway through the year a new student comes to our school, I approach him, talk to him for a bit, and eventually work up to ask him what grade he is in, he is a bit shorter then me, and most of the people at our school in 8th grade were noticably taller then me at the time. He said he was in 8th grade- at the time, it was during P.E, and the coach had us jogging around the school- I couldn't help but snicker, I asked if he was serious, and I went about a week not beliving him. Yes, he turned out to be in 8th grade. Well, for a new kid, he'd managed to make quite a few friends (with people that already hated me for whatever reason) in quite a short amount of time. I moved to that city that year, and I had no friends, I'd actually managed to make a few enemies. So, school went on for a while, and then one morning in the cafeteria (they herded us in there in the morning for storage) he and his group of friends came over to me, and the group of people I loosely associated with. They began to mess with us, and I was instantly hurled out of the group. all but 1 person had turned on me. We had a small verbal exchange (insult war) and well, obviously we'd insulted their elite 8th grade knowledge of everything, and they decided to challenge us to a fight. A few weeks later, the day of the fight, I'd found out that they'd been arrested for having weapons at school, of them: Screwdrivers, chains, knives- and other assorted 'goods'. I couldn't help but brag, I was tickled by the whole situation. I was in denial, not only was I scared, but It'd finally hit me, people actually hated me, I was used to the mild 6th grade hatred, you smelled bad one day so some girl doesn't like you, or you farted in class, and people made fun of you for a while, not this though, people actually bringing weapons to school,... to kill .... me?? Fast foward to next school year, beyond the fact that I am stuck in the lowest band for ANOTHER year, and I was stuck with stupid people , my life was pretty good. I was pretty shaken up from my favorite Unreal Tournament server facing what seemed like what would wind up being the end of it's life. I'd gained a reputation in 7th grade, that sticks with me until now, 7th grade was possibly the most stressful period of my life, ever. I didn't have any nerve calming things to do, the first people I'd met when I moved in were stoners, their parents were fighting, and I was learning about,.. well... personal 'anatomy' if you understand what I am getting at. And now it is 9th grade, I've gained the respect of some of the people who hated me in middle school, but still, most of my "friendships" are evetremely tentative, one wrong move and I am hated for a week. I know I've got ADD, my mom is a doctor, and she doesn't seem too willing to do anything about it, even though it would take little effort to get me in for an appointment with an of the people that test you for that, not only can I not focus on things I am actually extremely interested in, such as C or C++ programming but I can't concentrate on it even when I want to, it is NOT AT ALL easy to focus on things you couldn't care less about, I know school is important, I know I could, and should be excelling in, but I can't, and just the way I am won't allow me to do so. I know I am depressed, as I find myself often changing moods intensely, and yelling at people, this also gets me in to trouble with my friends, and even worse with my parents. No one takes me seriously, ever, I can't concentrate, and I have no real way of circumventing my anger, even typing this I am fading in and out of lucidity, not from being tired- just unable to pay attention. I should probably end this before it becomes completely unintelligible. Please, give me whatever advice you have, and keep the flaming to a minimum. |
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#2 |
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Seen your member
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Hey. I think your mom has the right idea not pursuing the ADD thing. Knowing you have a disorder, or thinking you can improve your life by getting medical treatment for it is wrong. It's a parent's way of taking the easy way out of discipline, and taming their child. You will be glad one day, that you were not given medication, or even officially diagnosed with ADD. As for the rest of your problems, I can say that I relate, especially at that age, and that things will get better. You're clearly dealing and getting more friends, and when you're ready, you'll greatly look forward to being able to start off with a fresh set of peers and a clean slate, maybe going to a new school or as you head into university. Kids are notoriously unforgiving, and it can be stressful on someone with social problems. I'm really glad that you posted this as an open request for advice instead as a statement for attention.
The best advice I can give on dealing with your social anxieties is this. First off, the internet works wonders for the socially troubled. 80 percent of anyone who I would call a reliable friend to me, I have not even met. There's such a broad variety of people to talk to, and, although I suppose it's unhealthy to form a social dependance on the internet, I find it's a really good support system. Also, the more you focus on what you want to accomplish in life, the less and less you care about what people think of you, and what you do to pass the time day to day. Just set some sort of short term goal, and give yourself something to think about. A healthy distraction that you can really be passionate about is the best cure for any sort of dissinterest in your social surroundings or a lack of interest in life in general. Finally, hard as it is, just try to catch yourself when you're aguing with someone, or picking a fight. It's incredibly hard to back down to an asshole, and even I can't do it sometimes, but if you feel yourself becoming apprehensive, just turn away and find something else to do. This is hard if you don't have someone always walking by you ready to back you up, but have a plan for yourself. When I'm upset, I come to my room, open the window, and play stepmania. That's my plan. Just always have somewhere to go and something to do, and you have a much easier time controlling your temper and emotions. |
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#3 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 99
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Really the trick to being happy emotionally (NOT just physically) is to look at the good side of everything.
example: My bussines trip went all wrong. My plane crashed, I was fired. My passport {___________Bad___________}{___________Bad_________}{_________Bad disappeared. I starved for a week. I lost my house. I was finally found a week later. __________}{______Bad_______}{_____Bad___}{_________[b]good[\b]_____________} COMPARED TO... My plane crashed but I survived. I lived because of the cacti in the area. I learned alot about the {__________Good___________}{_____________Good_____________}{__________Good_____ desert nature. I died, yes, but my death was kinda important. ___________}{_______________Good__________________} this example is dramatic, but it still explains my point. By being of high spirits the general public accepts you more. Not to mention that it makes you friends very quick |
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#5 |
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FFR Player
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I dunno, I'm getting notably happier, the ADD isn't being fixed any,..
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#6 |
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FFR Player
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I have adhd and the meds make you unhappy and they increase he dossage constantly,not too mention that the meds are kinda expensive...its alot better without the meds I wish I was in your position without all the eneimes and you have to learn to control the adhd once yuo do everything will be ok.
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Mead is a | ******. | |
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#7 |
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You thought I was a GUY?!
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7th and 8th grade are the hardest socially. Everyone is testing everything, getting hormones, and everything else. It becomes the time to break rules, and start things.
I have a mild ADD. My mom has it and still deals with it, but about me, I found that I acutally kept my nose in my work and elsewhere to cope. Yes, I didn't have many friends. I found that with the things that interested me, I could always find something more interesting than the local gossip of the school. If you spend a little more time looking at school, and less time for the socialities, then you will find others that are as interested in an area as you are. That is the type of person that you will have much more fun socializing with. Still, looking for people isn't always the way to find friends. 7 or more out of 10 will be people who you will find out could not be your friend for any long term amount of time. That doesn't mean you should keep a paranoid pessimism about you, but it does mean you shouldn't have to go fishing for friends. Don't go in with "Who cares, if they turn out to be a friend, well then good, but I'm not going to do anything special". You work with others, and if things go differently, oh well, but you can say that it was not you who didn't put forth the effort. |
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#8 | ||
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FFR Player
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Quote:
As for the whole ADD problem, if you think you have a mental problem seek help soon. There are more disorders than just ADD and ADHD in the world and you might just have one. I don't know if you do but just check anyways and if you havent't already been given one recently, have your eyes checked and get a physical examination. Again, what I just said was probably redundant but not everyone does these things. Quote:
Just get help if you feel depressed, tell someone you trust your problem and they will help you.
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visit my friends site or he starves- s4.invisionfree.com/maxxnintendo/index.php |
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#9 |
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Hookers and Blow
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Heh, beat having a heart attack in PE. That made me clinically depressed for 2 months.
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#10 | ||
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FFR Player
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Quote:
Quote:
Thanks all of you for the help, and especially Cenright for the one on one talk. , <3 |
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#11 |
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嗚呼
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*deficit
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Plz visit my blog |
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#12 |
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FFR Player
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Thank you.
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#13 |
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FFR Player
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God, the amount of people like you never ceases to amze me. Not as an insult or anything like that.
Whenever I think about one of my friends, I think she seiously needs help but I can't really do anything about it because she i a very good liar. Anyways, what you should do is just try to blend in for the most part. If people start sh*t with you just try to stop it before anything serious starts. If someone calls you a ****** or something just let it bounce off of you. I had to switch skools in 8th grade, and I ended up sitting alone for the first month and a half before I found kids that seemed to be like me and have the same interests. That was what I was able to do and I can be very intimiating sometimes, seeing when I can be a whole head taller than some kids my age. Other than that i don't really know what to say but I hope it help in some way.
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#14 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 43
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[quote="ddrruler"]I have adhd and the meds make you unhappy and they increase he dossage constantly,not too mention that the meds are kinda expensive...its alot better without the meds I wish I was in your position without all the eneimes and you have to learn to control the adhd once yuo do everything will be ok.
lol, your adhd is apparent due to the absence of commas in your post. |
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#15 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 43
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you can't be worried about what people think about you because on the flip side of the coin, the're just worried about what you think about them. Of course, it's unreasonable to asume that you're the only person that is concerned about 3rd person opinion so therefor, everyone is equal on that level.
Hate is most of the time a product of jelousy and pride, so you shouldn't worry yourself about people "hating" you either. You can really only hate someone if they effected your life in a very negative way, so to say these people "casualy hate you" is stupid too. |
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#16 |
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Yes
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Just wait till you get out of school, you'll be better off.
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Check Out My Music |
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#17 |
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FFR Player
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2
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ok screw most of the people trying to help (sry but it has to be said) i mean none of them are ADD and don't know how to deal with it deltro300111 but don't worry i have gone threw the same thing you are going threw right now if this is of any help let me know so here goes. you should really try and do school work and if people hate the hate you the best you can say is screw you and tell them to go away. just ignore them so what if they make fun of you what really hurts yourself is telling yourself that your not good enough when you are. i am currently a senior in high school and preaty much have gone through what you are going through. i was told in that i was ADD in the 7th grade but i was also told i was when i was in 3rd grade to. docters don't know anything may i remind you i mean your mom probley is great and everything but when people say your ADD don't belive them cause deep inside that little voice starts to tell you that you are ADD and you probley really aren't. i am currently holdning a 3.2 gpa in high school which isn't bad but that's all cause i stoped thinking i was ADD. i mean you are only something if your belive you are. so the best advice is to stop thinking to much about it and just go on with your life, and if these people really do deaply hate you maybe you should talk with your counselor for some help or advice that would help you with this problem. i mean if this was me i would walk up to this person(s) and tell them they don't have to like me but i would like it if they would leave me alone.
well this is all i can right tell me what you think and i could help you some more |
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#18 |
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Seen your member
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I like when people who say they have 'add' think that every other kid in the world didn't.
You have no idea what's going on, you only have two posts. This topic is long since dead. Not "screw most of the people trying to help", screw you. Not only did your incoherent post fail to help, but the rest of us did a ver good job of it, which is why this topic is now dead. Stick to the newB forum until you learn how to post and respect that you aren't the only person in the world, and certainly not the wisest one. Goodbye. |
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#19 |
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FFR Player
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Ok I've had ADD My whole life and have taken medication up until 9th grade. I hated it. It made me always like i was walking dead....After I stopped taking medication and started dealing with the problem myself I sort of grew out of it...I mean you never GROW out of it but you can learn to live with it normally. Also there is around 6-7 types of ADD and ADHD, I read a giant book about the disorder and it helped me understand it alot and overcome it. I have to go but ill write more later.
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