Funny jokes...

Layladay · 09-25-2004, 08:25 PM

A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?

(The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.)

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

**Moogy** · 09-25-2004, 08:38 PM

Apparently you think that funny means unfunny.

SeanH · 09-25-2004, 08:42 PM

You hear about that new movie called Constipation?

It hasn't come out yet.

flipmaster99 · 09-25-2004, 08:44 PM

There is a river with a blonde standing on each side.
One yells to the other "Hey! How do you get to the other side?"
The other replies, "You are on the other side, silly."
----------------------------------
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit, "Excuse me rabbit, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit responds, "Why no..."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

HA-HA-meh

ryumaboroshi100 · 09-25-2004, 08:45 PM

i don't get it?

QreepyBORIS · 09-25-2004, 08:55 PM

Hint: Don't attach random images to all your posts?

CypherToorima · 09-25-2004, 09:00 PM

was that a question?

Afrobean · 09-25-2004, 09:10 PM

I think it was?

PS why do joke threads always get flamed? They seem like a legitimate reason for a thread. I think a mod or something should make one and sticky it so people will stop reposting it.

Anticrombie0909 · 09-25-2004, 09:33 PM

I think people should post funny jokes in joke threads, instead of old, lame and unfunny ones.

Yeah. I'm so smart.

CypherToorima · 09-25-2004, 09:38 PM

and witty. Don't forget witty.

BluE_MeaniE · 09-25-2004, 09:44 PM

http://www.freewebs.com/reddwarfquotes/

**Spazzbite** · 09-25-2004, 09:48 PM

A baby seal walked into a club.

QreepyBORIS · 09-25-2004, 09:50 PM

I laughed when I read Spazz's. Ahahaha....

"Life is a battle between the mind and the heart. But who is the winner? The skeleton."

Or something to that effect.

Kenzya · 09-25-2004, 10:41 PM

This one is a killer...

What did Data find in the toilet?

The captain's Log.

fusi0n · 09-25-2004, 10:44 PM

LOLOCAUST

09-25-2004, 08:25 PM	#1
Layladay FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Up your ass Posts: 44	Funny jokes... A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first? (The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.) The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3:00 Facial, massage, nap 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10:00 Make love 11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms The Perfect Day - Him 6:45 Alarm. 7:00 Shower and massage. 7:30 Blowjob. 7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12:30 Blowjob. 12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit. 7:30 Shit, shower, shave. 8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals). 9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero 10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries 11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep __________________ You want me dont you. I know you do. Im every woman.

09-25-2004, 08:38 PM	#2
Moogy 嗚呼 Join Date: Aug 2003 Age: 36 Posts: 10,303	RE: Funny jokes... Apparently you think that funny means unfunny. __________________ Plz visit my blog ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

09-25-2004, 08:42 PM	#3
SeanH FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 154	RE: Funny jokes... You hear about that new movie called Constipation? It hasn't come out yet. __________________

09-25-2004, 08:44 PM	#4
flipmaster99 FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 79	RE: Funny jokes... There is a river with a blonde standing on each side. One yells to the other "Hey! How do you get to the other side?" The other replies, "You are on the other side, silly." ---------------------------------- A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit, "Excuse me rabbit, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit responds, "Why no..." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. HA-HA-meh

09-25-2004, 08:55 PM	#6
QreepyBORIS FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: It is a mystery. Age: 35 Posts: 7,454	Hint: Don't attach random images to all your posts? __________________ Signature subject to change. THE ZERRRRRG.

09-25-2004, 09:00 PM	#7
CypherToorima Boss of all bosses Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Phone Home! Age: 37 Posts: 2,452	was that a question? __________________ I'm a figantic gaggot

09-25-2004, 09:10 PM	#8
Afrobean Admiral in the Red Army Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the moon Age: 38 Posts: 13,262	I think it was? PS why do joke threads always get flamed? They seem like a legitimate reason for a thread. I think a mod or something should make one and sticky it so people will stop reposting it. __________________

09-25-2004, 09:33 PM	#9
Anticrombie0909 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4,683	I think people should post funny jokes in joke threads, instead of old, lame and unfunny ones. Yeah. I'm so smart.

09-25-2004, 09:38 PM	#10
CypherToorima Boss of all bosses Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Phone Home! Age: 37 Posts: 2,452	and witty. Don't forget witty. __________________ I'm a figantic gaggot

09-25-2004, 09:50 PM	#13
QreepyBORIS FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: It is a mystery. Age: 35 Posts: 7,454	I laughed when I read Spazz's. Ahahaha.... "Life is a battle between the mind and the heart. But who is the winner? The skeleton." Or something to that effect. __________________ Signature subject to change. THE ZERRRRRG.

09-25-2004, 10:41 PM	#14
Kenzya FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Illicorn Posts: 3,411	This one is a killer... What did Data find in the toilet? The captain's Log. __________________ One Time I Sucked Six in a Row (Locust Toybox Remix) Write to me Stick Stickly p.o. box 963 New York City New York State 10108 I'm Still Alive

09-25-2004, 10:44 PM	#15
fusi0n FFR Player Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Indianapolis, IN Age: 38 Posts: 2,158	LOLOCAUST

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