Marriage

[justaguy]

Originally Posted by Relambrien

What does marriage give, anyway? A chance for couples to express their undying love through a formal joining under the eyes of God? If that's it, then why do couples -need- a formal ceremony to know they love each other dearly? Is God used as an omnipotent third-party, giving validation to the couple's claims of devotion?

Marriage gives definition and security for most couples. It's not really a chance to express their undying love, it's more an extension of it. Why do couples need a formal ceremony? It's tradition. You can't simply disregard tradition without being under the scrutiny and criticism of those around you. God really isn't a defining factor in the process of marriage, just an influence.

Originally Posted by devonin

I think you'll find that divorce rates are actually falling in terms of meaningful statistics.

The rise in divorce rate stemmed from a large number of couples, married at a time when divorce wasn't really a social option, deciding to split up in later years when it was more acceptable to do so, coupled with at least one movement to start getting married younger.

People are waiting longer -to- marry, but in general, more newlywed couples seem to be staying together, likely -because- they are waiting longer than before to decide to.

Okay, what statistics, if any, are you basing this off? You're making incredibly broad generalizations. Personally I think you're speculating in the wrong direction with regard to divorce rates.

Originally Posted by tsugomaru

The rise in rates in divorce is related to women's right in some form another. It can't be coincidence that the divorce rates started increasing as soon as more and more women found jobs. Today, more and more women are entering the work force and they are getting ever so much closer to equal pay. No doubt that there would be conflicts in the family as both the husband and wife will try to strive to keep their job. If this argument can't be resolved, than a divorce is one of the ways out of it. It's probably also why families are getting smaller and smaller nowadays because if a couple have too many kids, the relationship can grow complicated because one of the two will have to give up their jobs in order to look after the children.

~Tsugomaru

I actually agree with a large part of this. Increased divorced rates can be attributed to the idea that women are becoming more prominent figures in society. Because of this movement, traditional roles that once existed in family structure have dissolved and defining roles in marriages and parenting are really up in the air. While I don't think this is necessarily the only factor, I definitely feel this is a contributing factor to increased divorce rates.

Originally Posted by sarahxjane

I do not believe in marriage.
I have never dreamed nor wished to become married.

This could be because my parents were never married or my own views or both.

I find it to be a waste of time and money. It is merely a piece of paper and a special day in the end of it all. Both families dish out thousands of dollars for a big get together for the couple. I could care less if it religious. Vows are made and broken all the time. Just because a couple is married does not mean they will not cheat or what not.

I believe that if a couple is happy, whether they be the same gender or not, just being together should be enough. People can see your happiness and love without having to announce it to the entire world.

As for divorce, it seems like marriage is becoming less about couples in love and more about what is beneficial to both parties. Teenagers generally become married if they have a child. Celebrities become married to gain publicity. They are making a mockery out of what is sacred to those to believe in it.

I just don't see the point.

The only reason you actually believe what you do is simply because of what you stated at the beginning of your post:

This could be because my parents were never married.

You've witnessed it work, and you think it'd work the same for you. However, judging by your tone you aren't very open minded about the issue. I'd assume your parents came to a mutual understanding regarding the issue of not being married, and simply didn't find it necessary for them to engage themselves in it. Some couples require the satisfaction behind marriage to feel like they are truly a couple, hell, you might even need this. I wouldn't waltz into a LTR with preconceived notions regarding the necessity of marriage because it may not suit it.

I believe that if a couple is happy, whether they be the same gender or not, just being together should be enough. People can see your happiness and love without having to announce it to the entire world.

Believe it or not, some people may disagree with you.

As for divorce, it seems like marriage is becoming less about couples in love and more about what is beneficial to both parties. Teenagers generally become married if they have a child. Celebrities become married to gain publicity. They are making a mockery out of what is sacred to those to believe in it.

This is completely backwards. Maybe you're functioning in the past, or something. One reason for increased divorce rates is the pursuit of love. Love has essentially redefined marriage from being "what is beneficial to both parties," or from "marrying for the child," to pursuing an ideal counterpart. Because divorce has become a lot more socially acceptable, this is happening more frequently than in years past. Additionally, referencing tsugomaru's point earlier in the thread, the issue of redefined gender roles can be heavily attributed to increased divorce rates. I read (sorry, I don't have the source) that groups of women in Europe are marrying significantly less to pursue their career. Women already married may be under the same pressure to pursue a career while simultaneously raising a family. I feel most of these factors mentioned can be attributed to increased divorce rates.