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Old 07-10-2004, 04:53 PM   #41
aracelibercelle
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Well..I guess we've established that online dating is not for everyone...those who are missing out, are just that...missing out. If that's the way they wanna go then I'm sure they'll have good times meeting people in person. Everyone's different anyway, and do things their own way. I for one, though, think it works.
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Old 07-10-2004, 09:36 PM   #42
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Well its like shopping i think: Do you only shop at one store? And settle for the best item at that store only? No. You shop around all over, and pick the best item at the best store, for the best deal. It's the same thing.

I think dating people who are only around your area is "settling for less." Not that you couldn't meet the perfect person there, hell, they could be living next door. But still, saying that you wouldn't date someone who's perfect for you because of distance is sad.
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:11 PM   #43
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First off i wasnt being sarcastic when i said congrats on the first post (dont know how you got that idea), and all i was saying is if you dont know what the person looks like that you are getting to know it can't work out (at least for me). As far as the trust thing if you are being 100 percent honest w/ someone then i agree you have no reason not to give the person the benefit of the doubt.
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:54 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laharl
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaOTa4231
how could u get so attached to him chrissi? You didnt even get to meet him.
Is touch that important to you?

Personally, I don't think that is something required to make someone fall in love with anotehr being, although it needs to be present for anything extremely serious to happen. Some people, such as Chrissi I assume and my own self, connect to people on an intellectual level, which is something you can find and obtain a healthy degree of through internet relationships (as in, any sort of relationship. Enemy, lover, friend, foe, etc.)
ah, laharl, its been a while.

we've had this discussion before... check like, 80 pages back in the chit chat forum. ima quote myself.... and laharl. hope you dont mind, bud.

Quote:
i'll give it a shot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by laharl

I may have you missrepresented here, but I wanted to throw this out there...

The person I consider to be my girlfriend, I've never met with in person. I didn't see a picture of her until AFTER I was fairly certain that I could apply the word "love", one I never use liberally, towards her. (And before anyone things that I'm "being played", I'll just say that I had a very good friend whom I trust wouldn't ever screw with me that badly have me talk to her in the first place, one of his personal IRL friends.)

Now, you may have meant something to the extent that it wouldn't have got to this point if there wasn't that basic human desire to be with someone, often considered a sexual thought. Is that what you meant?
this concept is not for the faint of heart and the shallow. in order to truelly fall in love with someone without ever seeing them involves the sort of sould connection that has been referred to earlier and has nothing to do with sexual desire in the slighest. in order for a realtionship like this, whether it be "boyfriend girlfriend" or just a really deep friendship takes both of the parties involved realizing that, despite what the world tells them, there can be a relationship that can last without ever seeing that person and without ever actually desiring to have sex with them based on how they look. as far as the sex point goes... regardless of how mature or advanced a person (and by person i mean male) is there is always a certain sexual desire. however, in this instance it would not be based on looks. it would be based on sould connection and an actual desire to spend time with this person for the rest of your life. a personal example: a while back i heard about a new car forum ( i'm into cars... in case you didnt know) where i met a bunch of new people, several of which i started to chat with or post specifically to on the forum. with one in specific there was some sort of connection. we started to talk over AIM, and eventually phone numbers were exchanged. the second night of actually talking to this person she had told me basically her entire life story and many of the problems she was having for no apparent reason other than the fact that we connected. i'm fairly certain that if we lived closer (she lives 6 hours away) that we would be dating. by the way... shes 2 years older than i am. so, as for the concept of meeting people on the internet and becoming involved with them, it is completely plausible and sometimes effective, but takes an extraordinary set of people to be able to achieve this.
i'd say that about sums it up...
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:55 PM   #45
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I usually give people the benefit out the doubt most of the time, even if I don't know them. I don't assume they are being dishonest. You must not let anyone get close to you. That has to suck.....

And nearly all the people who become close friends or start a relationship online HAVE seen each other, talked on the phone, etc.

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online dating is stupid b/c u can say and be somone your not very easily. its just not real unless u actually meet the person.
You can be someone you're not very easily in person as well, even hide your true gender. Oh, and what do you mean it's "not real"? The caring, the friendship, the love? HAHA... yea, okay.. don't be ignorant.
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Old 07-11-2004, 12:04 AM   #46
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Anyone who says online relationships aren't "real" are the ones who make them not real. The ones who hurt other people when they happen to have them.

Just accept it as a different way of getting together. You dont' need to be together. You just need to know each other.
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Old 07-11-2004, 01:17 AM   #47
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...online relationships not real?!? What is this then? Everyone on this forum has some sort of relationship with each other...What about that? Is this fake too? Just our imaginations? psh..not real..

that wasn't directed to anyone in general really..just anyone who thinks online relationships aren't real. Cause, any relationship online can be real, whether it be love or hate.
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Old 07-11-2004, 09:09 AM   #48
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Man, I've met like a quadrillion people off the net, and you know how many of those weren't who they said they were? 1.

It's called don't go and meet someone if you haven't talked to em on phone, seen pictures of them, and seen them on cam. At least that's my opinion. If the person isn't who they say they were after that, they're either a shapeshifting freak, or you're on crack.

Noata, seriously, just trying meeting someone, then you'll see.
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Old 07-11-2004, 10:13 AM   #49
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all i said was if you dont meet the person(or know what the person looks like) then you can't have a relationship past the friends part.
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Old 07-11-2004, 11:14 AM   #50
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For an online relationship to be "honest", you really have to check where you're going. I'd trust someone I meet over FFR a hell of a lot more than someone I would talk to on "Teen Chat" (or along those lines) for being who they say they are. Typically, at least for me, it's easy to figure out who's lying about who they are and who's not.
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Old 07-11-2004, 02:41 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaOTa4231
all i said was if you dont meet the person(or know what the person looks like) then you can't have a relationship past the friends part.
Just to let you know, that's FAR from the truth.
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Old 07-11-2004, 07:34 PM   #52
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agreed, I totally think you can fall in love with someone's mind. Weird yes, but still possible.
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Old 07-11-2004, 10:54 PM   #53
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srry bandit but i thnk i know what i said. why dont you go back and read what i wrote. and how u said the caring and love isnt real, its not even close to being the same as if you could actually be w/ the person.
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Old 07-12-2004, 12:07 AM   #54
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Distance makes the heart grow fonder...

It's not the same. It can be on the same level, but it's just different. Could it be higher if it was in person? Oh god yes.
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Old 07-13-2004, 12:17 AM   #55
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The problem with this whole deal is the fact that even if you are lucky enough to find your "true love" on the internet and marry them, you'd probably have to worry more about the >50% of American marriages that end in divorce.

I wonder if all these internet romances have anything to do with it... I guess I'll have to find out more on that...

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Old 07-13-2004, 02:09 AM   #56
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no, i think the younger you get married, the more chance you have for divorce.
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Old 07-13-2004, 02:18 AM   #57
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My suggestion is to avoid online dating... too much needless bullshit arguments, complications, as well as the fact that you are very limited in what you can do and share together.

But you can use the 'net to find people in your area.
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:52 PM   #58
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Or any area for that matter, but like we've all agreed already, the bigger the distance, the harder to maintain the relationship.
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Old 07-31-2004, 10:04 AM   #59
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Quote:
Sure, talking in person beats words on a screen any day, but don't the same messages and same personalities get portrayed? The only bad thing about online dating is that someone could easily pretend to be something they're not. But if you're a smart person, you can usually avoid those situations. Not always..but most of the time.
Holy crap, haha I thought I was the only one who thought that
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Old 07-31-2004, 10:15 AM   #60
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You lose the entire body language aspect of communicating, and I find that very important.
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