Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!!

**Specforces** · 06-17-2007, 07:45 PM

Hey guys,

I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd just share a couple of options with you. As you all know, Satan is that master of all evil that is constantly battling with Allah/God, or Jesus(that's Christ, not your lawn service technician) for your everlasting soul. Well, I just came here today to tell you that's a load of crap. Satan is a good guy. I mean, think about it. He wants your soul, yes, but only because he's investing in the most badass nightclub ever in the afterlife, Hell! Let's stack up all of Satan's inventions and weigh them against God's inventions:

Satan
*Metal
*Porn
*The Internet
*Hot Wings

God
*War
*Disease
*Golden Girls
*7th Heaven(seriously, they need to cancel that **** already)

Clearly Satan is the better choice of the two. But if that isn't enough proof then this will surely get you to change your feeble human worthless..... awesome minds:

Just in case you didn't know, SANTA CLAUS IS ACTUALLY SATAN:

Now now, don't rush out to your local cemetery to try and sacrifice your baby sister to the Dark Lord just yet!

You might ask yourself: Mr. Specforces, is this the truth, do you dare speaketh the truth??!?

Well I'll tell you right now, you goddamn right I do.

You might also ask yourself: How do I sign up to sell my soul to Satan today!?!!

WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW GOOD PEOPLE OF FFR, IT'S SO EASY!!!

All you need to do is send 50 dollars cash money to this address:

Mr. Corey L. Goor
1821 Spring Ave
Granite City, IL
62040

With this money I will send you your very own Satanic ritual kit, which comes with a tarot deck, celebratory blood wine, and your very own bobble-head Satan. BUT WAIT, if you act now I'll even throw in a few shrunken heads and curse your parents.

DON'T DELAY!!!!

powerdown · 06-17-2007, 07:48 PM

If Satan has more hot wings, and faster internet, I'm all for it.

**Specforces** · 06-17-2007, 07:49 PM

DON'T DELAY!!!

jewpinthethird · 06-17-2007, 07:52 PM

HAIL SATAN!

HAIL THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!

HAIL the capsrock filter.

ToxicShadow · 06-17-2007, 07:53 PM

High Priest of Shadows Tokzixicruux's Testimonial:

I used to live the life of an agnostic. Boy, what a waste of time. I don't think anybody realizes how hardcore Satanism is. All I needed was one fifty dollar/one soul payment and my life was completely turned around. Now I'm a High Priest of Shadows, and I get way more chicks, money, and souls than I did before. Go Satanist today!

Lightknight924 · 06-17-2007, 07:54 PM

Chardish! Chardish! We the good servants of the Lord need your aid! Only your magical administrative powers can defeat the satanic Specforces!

**u84** · 06-17-2007, 07:58 PM

God invented boobs.. He wins.

**MeaCulpa** · 06-17-2007, 07:59 PM

Jesus is Satan.

**Specforces** · 06-17-2007, 08:00 PM

You, SIR! With the fractals in your avatar, I can tell you're an avid drug user!

Tell us how Satan has changed your life for the better!

powerdown · 06-17-2007, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeaClupa

Hidden Message

You cant prove that....
EDIT: You changed it, bravo to you, good sir.

Lightknight924 · 06-17-2007, 08:14 PM

Step right up and join satan today!

Or join God!!

wickedawesomeful · 06-17-2007, 08:17 PM

I'm unmoved by this offer. You don't even give us the one great literature of Satanism- indeed, it is our unholy bible-

Without that, you are clearly not a true Satanist. I suggest you decease these acts, or mighty Satan will smite you where you stand.

**Specforces** · 06-17-2007, 08:18 PM

Obviously God has hosting issues...

RB_IcePh0enix · 06-17-2007, 08:18 PM

Kind of off topic, but I wonder if Satan has wings. I mean, he was originally an angel but then he betrayed god. Read Revelations Spec, SATAN'S GOING DOWN!

wickedawesomeful · 06-17-2007, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Specforces

Obviously God has hosting issues...

It wouldn't be the first time.

Lightknight924 · 06-17-2007, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Specforces

Obviously God has hosting issues...

And as you can see, He has come out and revealed Himself to his true faithful followers who awaited His arrival.

**MeaCulpa** · 06-17-2007, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RB_IcePh0enix

Kind of off topic, but I wonder if Satan really exists. I mean, he was originally a figment of my imagination, but then he betrayed another figment of my imagination. PS the Bible doesn't lie.

Oh.

msbrunnettemickey · 06-17-2007, 08:25 PM

Where's the Kabballah?

Lightknight924 · 06-17-2007, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightknight924

And as you can see, He has come out and revealed Himself to his true faithful followers who awaited His arrival.

Says the gentlemen with the Davey Jones avatar to symbolize The Flying Dutchmen's wickedness.

RB_IcePh0enix · 06-17-2007, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeaCulpa

Oh.

Thanks for trying to change this into a serious subject...

06-17-2007, 07:45 PM	#1
Specforces Yes Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 5,028	Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Hey guys, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd just share a couple of options with you. As you all know, Satan is that master of all evil that is constantly battling with Allah/God, or Jesus(that's Christ, not your lawn service technician) for your everlasting soul. Well, I just came here today to tell you that's a load of crap. Satan is a good guy. I mean, think about it. He wants your soul, yes, but only because he's investing in the most badass nightclub ever in the afterlife, Hell! Let's stack up all of Satan's inventions and weigh them against God's inventions: Satan Metal Porn The Internet Hot Wings God War Disease Golden Girls 7th Heaven(seriously, they need to cancel that ** already) Clearly Satan is the better choice of the two. But if that isn't enough proof then this will surely get you to change your feeble human worthless..... awesome minds: Just in case you didn't know, SANTA CLAUS IS ACTUALLY SATAN: Now now, don't rush out to your local cemetery to try and sacrifice your baby sister to the Dark Lord just yet! You might ask yourself: Mr. Specforces, is this the truth, do you dare speaketh the truth??!? Well I'll tell you right now, you goddamn right I do. You might also ask yourself: How do I sign up to sell my soul to Satan today!?!! WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW GOOD PEOPLE OF FFR, IT'S SO EASY!!!** All you need to do is send 50 dollars cash money to this address: Mr. Corey L. Goor 1821 Spring Ave Granite City, IL 62040 With this money I will send you your very own Satanic ritual kit, which comes with a tarot deck, celebratory blood wine, and your very own bobble-head Satan. BUT WAIT, if you act now I'll even throw in a few shrunken heads and curse your parents. DON'T DELAY!!!! __________________ Check Out My Music

06-17-2007, 07:49 PM	#3
Specforces Yes Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 5,028	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! DON'T DELAY!!! __________________ Check Out My Music

06-17-2007, 07:52 PM	#4
jewpinthethird (The Fat's Sabobah) Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Palm Springs, California Posts: 11,711	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! HAIL SATAN! HAIL THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT! HAIL the capsrock filter.

06-17-2007, 07:53 PM	#5
ToxicShadow FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 107	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! High Priest of Shadows Tokzixicruux's Testimonial: I used to live the life of an agnostic. Boy, what a waste of time. I don't think anybody realizes how hardcore Satanism is. All I needed was one fifty dollar/one soul payment and my life was completely turned around. Now I'm a High Priest of Shadows, and I get way more chicks, money, and souls than I did before. Go Satanist today!

06-17-2007, 07:54 PM	#6
Lightknight924 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New York Age: 33 Posts: 1,164	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Chardish! Chardish! We the good servants of the Lord need your aid! Only your magical administrative powers can defeat the satanic Specforces! Last edited by Lightknight924; 06-17-2007 at 07:59 PM..

06-17-2007, 07:59 PM	#8
MeaCulpa FFR Simfile Author Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: T-Dot Age: 37 Posts: 841	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Jesus is Satan.

06-17-2007, 08:00 PM	#9
Specforces Yes Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 5,028	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! You, SIR! With the fractals in your avatar, I can tell you're an avid drug user! Tell us how Satan has changed your life for the better! __________________ Check Out My Music Last edited by Specforces; 06-18-2007 at 09:45 PM..

06-17-2007, 08:14 PM	#11
Lightknight924 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New York Age: 33 Posts: 1,164	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Step right up and join satan today! Or join God!! Last edited by Lightknight924; 06-17-2007 at 08:18 PM..

06-17-2007, 08:17 PM	#12
wickedawesomeful Carls, Girls, & Drugs Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Tosh's noose. Age: 33 Posts: 3,888	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! I'm unmoved by this offer. You don't even give us the one great literature of Satanism- indeed, it is our unholy bible- Without that, you are clearly not a true Satanist. I suggest you decease these acts, or mighty Satan will smite you where you stand. __________________ http://dozemusic.com/

06-17-2007, 08:18 PM	#13
Specforces Yes Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 39 Posts: 5,028	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Obviously God has hosting issues... __________________ Check Out My Music

06-17-2007, 08:18 PM	#14
RB_IcePh0enix FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Virginia Age: 32 Posts: 709	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Kind of off topic, but I wonder if Satan has wings. I mean, he was originally an angel but then he betrayed god. Read Revelations Spec, SATAN'S GOING DOWN!

06-17-2007, 08:25 PM	#18
msbrunnettemickey FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: BOOBALOOBA! Posts: 1,780	Re: Super Official Satanic Recruitment Thread!!! Where's the Kabballah? __________________ בקצה השמיים, ובסוף המדבר, יש מקום רחוק מלא פרחי בר מקום קטן, עלוב ומשוגע, מקום רחוק מקום לדאגה יש אומרים שם שמשיקרה וחושבים אל כל מה שקרה אלוהים שם יושב ורואה ושומר אל כל משברא אסור לקטוף את פרחי הגן אסור לקטוף את פרחי הגן ודואג ודואג נורא

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