Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

[benguino]

Originally Posted by Reincarnate

I would argue against that and say that sometimes a child doesn't know what's best for themselves. If my kid wanted to be an artist, I would have trouble encouraging that when I know full well how most artists turn out and what challenges they face down the road -- challenges a kid really won't care about until the shit hits the fan. It is tempting to equate "Child displaying a desire to do X" with "Child is therefore happy if he is allowed to pursue X," but I think that children are sometimes ill-equipped to properly assess what will make them happiest down the road.

There are certain realities to various lifestyles that many people don't realize until they're there. Even in a particular pathway would result in a very happy life down the road as a result of hard work, a child might kick and scream along the way. As Chua argues, nothing is fun until you're good at it.

I still don't think you understand the point that us others are trying to get across. I'm not saying that if child X wants to pursue Y, then the parent of child X should allow them to be free to do whatever they want. We are saying that child X's parents should try to guide them toward a general road (nothing too specific) by using mild suggestion, hinting, and explanations given to the child that list's the pro's and con's of the situation. Parent's should use the power of reason and persuasion to get their child "on course" as opposed to using the power of authority. When one (this can be for any situation) is limited down to only choice, they feel trapped and tend to respond in rebellion. Why? Because in our society, we associate the mitigation of speech with levels of respect. A direct command is more "mean" and disrespectful as opposed to a suggestion or hint. So, assuming disrespect is grounds for rebellion, one is more likely to rebel against a command as opposed to a suggestion.

By the way, a lot of my points, and the thing about mitigated speech vs respect, is from the book "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell.