What does it take for kids to learn?

[virus003]

Originally Posted by Reincarnate

Are you retarded or just trolling me? Because if you seriously believe what you just said, then holy mother of poop I fear for your kids.

Spanking just teaches a child to fear you, and yes it does cause damage. I was spanked constantly as a kid and it caused a lot of problems for me for a long time. Even though my father was killed in a car crash, do you know what I feel for him? Absolutely nothing -- every single one of my memories with my father involved him either hitting/spanking me or punishing me over something retarded. I was never close to him, nor did I trust or respect him. It was just a massive aura of fear.

Eventually, what happens is that a kid who is spanked doesn't actually change the underlying behavior. It's like when you hit a dog constantly -- eventually it whimpers and cowers when you do nothing but simply get near its head. It'll still shit/piss in secret -- it'll just figure out how to do it without you noticing. It's not a healthy way to change behavior and it absolutely causes damage.

The problem is that hitting/spanking is a very "easy out" solution. It's the first thing that comes to the uneducated parent's mind -- "Oh, I'll just threaten the kid with beatings until it stops doing what I don't want it to." It's a lot harder to figure out safer ways to change behavior because it usually involves a combination of patience and careful guidelines. People who hit their kids are usually the kinds of people who were hit themselves. Don't be a dumbass by perpetuating the cycle. Pick up a goddamned parenting book or take a class or SOMETHING. Hell, just *Google* it.

I'm honestly really sorry to hear about your father, and apologize if this thread brings back any memories. You pretty much put the icing on the cake with this. To me it sounds like the background you're from determines your opinion on this, there's those that were spanked as a child, and those who had an "easier" way. Looks like I have a lot to tell my sister.

But I still need my question answered, what's a better way for a child to learn then?