Suicide.

[mhss1992]

Originally Posted by Reincarnate

darkshark: This description actually applies to me. I've always had some sort of emotional/physical struggle going on -- my mom abandoned the family and my father was killed. I had friends, but in many cases, they were surface-level -- and my true friends were few in number. I also went into a fairly large debt (luckily I am able to afford it with my job and everything) because of the stuff that went on with my family. Friends may be present, but they may be too uninvolved or scared to GET involved. They may not be able to really provide much solace. Counselors may come across as mere venting-receptacles. Even if you reach out to those closest to you, sometimes it just isn't enough.

I've contemplated suicide a few times, to be honest -- but in recent years, those thoughts have gone away as I've gained more friends, a girlfriend, a new life, an education, revisited hobbies, etc. Life is good again.

During those dark times when I've felt alone and burdened, suicide felt like a VERY attractive, viable option. When you feel very alone in the world with nobody who can empathize with your way of thinking -- or when everything in your life seems to be out of your control and going downhill -- it can be very tempting to just put an end to your misery, especially if it's chronic. But the thing that kept me from ever doing it was the notion that pressures are often temporary. Whenever things get dark, they always get better later if you are willing to reach out and either get help or work to improve your situation in some way.

Wow.
I guess those difficulties somehow made you overcompensate to become what you are today, right?

My past was considerably less difficult. Just lots of bullies, bullies, bullies and no friends. I still have to deal with my crazy mother, though. Nowadays, I still have a certain trauma of hearing people laugh behind me (even though they're almost never laughing at me) and feel humiliated very easily when people are better than me in some way. Anyway... I don't even know why I'm telling you this.
I never thought about committing suicide, though.