What defines you?

[Cavernio]

Ok, so I truly am asking a question with this, however, I do wish to discuss the issue with a critical mind, so I'm posting it here. I'm also going to get the ball rolling.

I've talked to someone who's said that what they do for their job doesn't define who they are, and they generalize this to everyone. I partially disagree with this, because how can something which takes up 40 hrs a week (talking about full-time here), not have some sort of part in defining who you are?

If work doesn't define you, what does? Do thoughts define us, or do our actions? Or something else?

I know that I exist outside how I affect other people, but to me, none of that matters if I don't affect other people in some way. There seems to be a fundamental human quality in myself that makes me want to affect other people, and in a way which makes them think highly of me. But, as the title suggests, it's more than just wanting attention; it's necessary for defining myself. If I don't affect anyone, I might as well not matter. My thoughts matter only if they're shared. Is this how you think too?

Getting back to the work issue, upon knowing my stand on this, if I spend a majority of the time working, then it's impossible for this to not define part of who I am, seeing as work in a capitalist society is defined by someone paying you for it, and ergo at a minimum, you affect the person who's paying you.