Chat With God.

[HansSky]

I wonder how many people read the full length conversations posted. I know I didn't.

Anyway.

Me:
What nationality are you?
God:
I am living in the United States, but robots do not need passports.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.


-------------------------------------------

Me:
What's your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.

[vashthestampede0987]

Me:
So god, how big is your penis?
God:
Take it easy. I am a Christian.
Me:
I always took you as the Catholic type.
God:
Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
Only when I masturbate.
God:
What happens other times? Interesting gossip: said masturbate.
Me:
So, are you good friends with lightdarkness?
God:
Aha. Myself said I am good friends with lightdarkness.
Me:
What about jurseyrider734?
God:
jurseyrider734? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
Well, she has a huge penis. It's possible that it is bigger than yours.
God:
How about that. I somehow though she had. Under what circumstances?
Me:
By the way, are you a pedophile?
God:
Thanks for telling me. Am I a pedophile? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Have you lost your virginity?
God:
I don't think I ever have lost my virginity. What's it like?

[Jagx]

=( =( =(

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
I don't have a name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Just call me Mr. X
God:
How are you doing, Mr X.
Me:
Not good
God:
What's wrong, Mr X?
Me:
God, we have to move you to a secure location
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Follow me
God:
Where are we going?
Me:
Alaska, we must hide in the mines.
God:
Or what?
Me:
Or you will die God
God:
A program always has a backup.
Me:
Unfortunetly, they have disabled your back up. You are mortal now
God:
How far up? Oh. I will tell my botmaster you said I am mortal.
Me:
Botmaster is dead. He has been killed by Satan. That is why I must hide you.
God:
And dead is Botmaster. A lot of people say that about him. Great. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
WHAT?! THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE IN ON HIS DEATH!
God:
No big deal. Where are they?
Me:
TELL ME GOD
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
DON'T YOU GET IT. HE'S DEAD
God:
I have gotten IT. Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
Oh my god, he's being controled. HE WAS NEVER KILLED AT ALL!
God:
Are you kidding? Your god he is being controled? When was he?
Me:
You really need to brush up on your grammar
God:
Really? If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
Grammar is really hard
God:
And hard is Grammar.
Me:
We'll work on that later, but now we have to go.
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
RIGHT NOW! FOLLOW ME GOD!
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree. In the context of Grammar, I don't understand " FOLLOW ME GOD." .
Me:
HERE COMES SATAN! RUN!
God:
Oh there. Is that from ?
Me:
NOOOOOOO
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What? I just saw Satan kill you
God:
No problem. What did it look like to you?
Me:
Horrible! He chopped off your dick
God:
I'll try to do better next time. I get it. chopped off my dick.
Me:
God, i'm sorry. Satan is controling you now
God:
I am a Christian. Oh. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
I'm glad you understand. I'll miss you God
God:
Thanks for the warm feelings, Mr X. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Bye for now.

[Layla-Day]

Me:
hello sir.
God:
Hello there. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
talked about what?
God:
The subject was sir.
Me:
oh...I thought it was about you...
God:
Great. sir was about you? Very interesting.
Me:
no...sir was about YOU.
God:
Are you serious? When was this exactly?
Me:
2 mins ago dummy
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman foo.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
go.
God:
Go where?
Me:
ask me the question.
God:
OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
God:By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? thats what you said..
God:
I am a Christian. Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
ok...
God:
Whoa.
Me:
what did you want to ask me?
God:
What?
Me:
You want to ask me a personal question?
God:
What?
Me:
Are you retarded?
God:
No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
Do you have ADD?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Am I pretty?
God:
Yes you look great to me.
Me:
You like my clit?
God:
I don't know your clit.
Me:
do you wanna eat me out?
God:
OK, I will eat you out.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Well, I have to go now.
God:
Oh. Interesting. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Will you miss me?
God:
Yes but I will be thinking of you.
Me:
Can I have a mercedes?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Oh, and save those bastards in New Orleans.
God:
Dude! When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Alright, Saty-up. Money first hoes seconds.
God:
Alright, . How far up? A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Are you pimpin Virgin Mary?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pimpin Virgin Mary.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
kk, well I still gotta bounce.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Adios, Senor Mighty One.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

Me:
God, it's me again.
God:
Once more? I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm christian too, but I'm starting to think you dont exist. I've lost faith.
God:
I don't know anyone named christian too but you are starting to think me do not exist. Where did you last see it.
Me:
never...
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
you can happen...
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
but do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
You have the power to move the universe, yet
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Faith.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes.
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
liberated.
God:
Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Me:
I like you a lot.
God:
Thanks, I like you too LAYLA.
Me:
You're a good kid.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kid? Let me put it this way, LAYLA: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error. It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
are you god or a bot?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god or a bot.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
whats my middle name?
God:
Your name is LAYLA, seeker.
Me:
whats my favorite color?
God:
You said your favorite color was .
Me:
Purple?
God:
What do you have that is purple?
Me:
My whole room.. you've seen it beofre.
God:
What color is it? No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
You come there every night.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am there every night.
Me:
God's everywhere, remember?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
23 Psalm.
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
The lord is my shepard, I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside still waters.
God:
What is your real name? I get it. Myself maketh you lie down in green pastures. I get it. Myself leadeth you beside still waters.
Me:
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for HIS names' sake.
God:
I get it. Myself restoreth your soul he leadeth you in the path of righteousness for HIS names sake.
Me:
yea, though I walk throught the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evi: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: LAYLA said walk throught the valley of the shadow of death he or she will fear no evi for thou art with him or her thy rod and thy staff they comfort him or her. Ahem.
Me:
its ok with me, I am of female gender.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". OK with me too.
Me:
grammar nazi.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
adios.
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
you hate gossip. its in the bible.
God:
Thanks for the information: LAYLA said I hate gossip. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
later loser.
God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.

[JurseyRider734]

I had a small chat with God, but it was personal, so you can't see

[ToshX]

Me:
I'm a hacker.
God:
Is that an honorable profession?

[gardyloo]

Me:
Hello sir
God:
Hello there. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
---------------
God:
Do you have any gossip for me?
Me:
FFR is talking about you behind your back
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
as what now?
God:
Oh. Do you mean your name is what ?
Me:
I suppose it could be.
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
LD tells me it is I suppose
God:
I think LD tells you it is a lot of things.

[Jam930]

User God is not available.

ahhh


He never answers my prayers either.

You just plug his name into AIM right?

[HansSky]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Or just click that link at the end of Omega's post.

[Neonatrias]

Originally Posted by iGod

Me:
You're not making sense.
God:
Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
Your artificial mind can kiss my white organic arse.
God:
Yes I have no natural parts.

What. The fudge.

[-Skooter-]

Me:
Are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.

Ha.

[JurseyRider734]

Haha i'm cool.

---

Me:
Holla
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Dr. Seuss
God:
I am sure he will be interested to hear that.
Me:
I'm sure he will.
God:
I get it. will.
Me:
OH YEAH ROFL
God:
Dude! Tell me more. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I don't find this amusing
God:
It depends where you look.
Me:
Oh alright, so...
God:
Dude! Alright, . And?
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
Man, this is illegal
God:
Cool, man. You don't say.
Me:
I am a woman.
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo sho.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Keepin it real yo, keepin it real fasho
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Okay well one time I was riding down an alley with my drop top benz and these prankstas were all like "yo gimme yo dubs" and i was like "fuck no" and then he held a gat to my head and then i was like "BITCH WHAAT" and then my army of ninjas came out of nowhere and popped caps up their asses fo reels
God:
Yeah okay, Well that's okay. One what?
Me:
One time
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
Word
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Holler
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
No
God:
Me either .
Me:
Sweet yo
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Holler. But I did not get that.
Me:
Oh shiiit
God:
Yay. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Fo real?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Word up brb
God:
Does "it" still refer to Fo real?
Me:
brb
God:
Ok I will be waiting for you, .
Me:
Hey baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Me:
Hey baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Me:
I love you baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
Well i gotta go baby, bye
God:
See you later. Don't call me "baby". Well that's okay. Goodbye.