Black Market Blood

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • EpikLow
    FFR Player
    • Feb 2007
    • 29
    #1

    Black Market Blood

    This is a story I'm re-writing. I wrote it as "Four Teens and a Gun," but quickly hated that title. I also hate my spelling so please help me out! I just finished my first chapter and I'm putting it on a new site.

    Webs.com has been shut down: Find out more
    http://www.freewebs.com/epiklow/
    Webs.com has been shut down on the 31st of August 2023. Find out what that means for your site and how to move it to another provider.


    To get right to reading the story here's the link,
    Webs.com has been shut down: Find out more
    http://www.freewebs.com/epiklow/blackmarketblood.htm
    Webs.com has been shut down on the 31st of August 2023. Find out what that means for your site and how to move it to another provider.
    Tags: None
    • kitkat9
      FFR Player
      • Feb 2009
      • 87
      #2
      Re: Black Market Blood

      Ok well I read it, and it is so far really good. Something I would want to read. Too bad it only has one chapter so far. There are a few spelling errors so take a second look at that, but it is really good.

        Comment

        • tofurox
          Them arrows.
          • May 2006
          • 2263
          #3
          Re: Black Market Blood

          300+ reads good job.

          This sig has been enhanced by the FFR Staff for being too large. Thank you for participating.

            Comment

            • vantilburg
              lol internet
              • Feb 2006
              • 545
              #4
              Re: Black Market Blood

              I'm diggin' it so far. It had its moments - parts that I could relate to, and one that I laughed at. A small suggestion would be when you're switching settings, maybe give it a little bit more detail. Slice of life genre stories always do well with a lot of detail. Also, there are a few spelling/grammatical errors, but not bad enough that I didn't understand what you meant. So, all in all, it's something I would look forward to reading more of.

              EDIT: Woah when I was reading it, it showed 10 reads. Refreshing it says 325.
              Last edited by vantilburg; 04-6-2009, 04:37 PM.


              Originally posted by SaguchiTheCat
              You are an ultimate humafag. Calling you an ultimate humafag is an understatement. You are a complete loonatic huma****! You should be shot with a bazooka for thinking this.
              You've been hanging around the wrong furries, then. Most furries are nice people. ALL humafags are huge jerks. Environmentalists are good people who care about this planet, unlike you, Squeek.

                Comment

                • EpikLow
                  FFR Player
                  • Feb 2007
                  • 29
                  #5
                  Re: Black Market Blood

                  Thanks so much you guys! I really appreciate that you checked it out. If you could email me or say on here, which parts have errors that would be great. I'm going to read it over again right now but I just wanted to say thanks first. When I first wrote this story I got a lot of negative feedback (mostly because of my horrible spelling hahaha which I'm trying to learn to fix)
                  I'm working on chapter two tonight so I'll let you know when it's up.

                  epik_low@hotmail.com

                    Comment

                    • kitkat9
                      FFR Player
                      • Feb 2009
                      • 87
                      #6
                      Re: Black Market Blood

                      Awesome, a chapter two. I would love to read and critique it. So be sure to let me know when it's finished and online. =)

                        Comment

                        • tofurox
                          Them arrows.
                          • May 2006
                          • 2263
                          #7
                          Re: Black Market Blood

                          Can't wait.

                          This sig has been enhanced by the FFR Staff for being too large. Thank you for participating.

                            Comment

                            • EpikLow
                              FFR Player
                              • Feb 2007
                              • 29
                              #8
                              Re: Black Market Blood

                              Okay. I've distracted myself too much with other things, but I promise I'll try my best to finish chapter two tomorrow! >.<
                              Last edited by EpikLow; 04-6-2009, 07:45 PM.

                                Comment

                                • kitkat9
                                  FFR Player
                                  • Feb 2009
                                  • 87
                                  #9
                                  Re: Black Market Blood

                                  Don't rush! If you rush it will be cheesy and do your best. It will come out when its finished, and completely finished...

                                    Comment

                                    • tofurox
                                      Them arrows.
                                      • May 2006
                                      • 2263
                                      #10
                                      Re: Black Market Blood

                                      To tell you the truth.... I read-whored lol.

                                      This sig has been enhanced by the FFR Staff for being too large. Thank you for participating.

                                        Comment

                                        • EpikLow
                                          FFR Player
                                          • Feb 2007
                                          • 29
                                          #11
                                          Re: Black Market Blood

                                          Lolz. Well I have this friday off so I can probably write more during that day sometime. I'm almost done chapter two, but I want to re-write some parts. Kitkat, you're right. I shouldn't rush haha.

                                            Comment

                                            • kitkat9
                                              FFR Player
                                              • Feb 2009
                                              • 87
                                              #12
                                              Re: Black Market Blood

                                              Lol, I know these things. I tried to turn in an essay I did in like, 30 minutes to my English teacher, to say it plainly, she was not impressed. She actually fumed at me, it was rather hilarious if you were to ask me.

                                                Comment

                                                • EpikLow
                                                  FFR Player
                                                  • Feb 2007
                                                  • 29
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Black Market Blood

                                                  Okay! Finally I'm done chapter two and it's posted. Let me know if it sucks, or if it's actually good. Any feedback would be awesome haha.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • kitkat9
                                                      FFR Player
                                                      • Feb 2009
                                                      • 87
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Black Market Blood

                                                      Wow, I'm still loving it. This Darla chick makes me want to punch something lol.

                                                      Ok this simile really made no sense to me.
                                                      "Of course she didn't want Brandon knowing anything and the annoying way he kept asking questions was now getting on her nerves like the thought of eating Kleenex."

                                                      I really never thought eating Kleenex would be annoying. I'm positive that you could find something a little bit better.

                                                      This is something easily fixed.
                                                      "I'm Darla, but I guess you can't really sake hands right now can you?"-shake

                                                        Comment

                                                        • EpikLow
                                                          FFR Player
                                                          • Feb 2007
                                                          • 29
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Black Market Blood

                                                          Thanks! I'm going to fix the sake hands thing up right now, haha and I'm glad you're still liking it. I have no idea why, but when ever I think of chewing Kleenex... omg it's the worst and most annoying thing ever haha, but I can see how not many people would think that so I'll probably change it later.

                                                            Comment

                                                            Previous 1 2 template Next
                                                            Working...