Black Market Blood

[EpikLow]

This is a story I'm re-writing. I wrote it as "Four Teens and a Gun," but quickly hated that title. I also hate my spelling so please help me out! I just finished my first chapter and I'm putting it on a new site.

http://www.freewebs.com/epiklow/

To get right to reading the story here's the link,

http://www.freewebs.com/epiklow/blackmarketblood.htm

[kitkat9]

Re: Black Market Blood

Ok well I read it, and it is so far really good. Something I would want to read. Too bad it only has one chapter so far. There are a few spelling errors so take a second look at that, but it is really good.

[tofurox]

Re: Black Market Blood

300+ reads good job.

[vantilburg]

Re: Black Market Blood

I'm diggin' it so far. It had its moments - parts that I could relate to, and one that I laughed at. A small suggestion would be when you're switching settings, maybe give it a little bit more detail. Slice of life genre stories always do well with a lot of detail. Also, there are a few spelling/grammatical errors, but not bad enough that I didn't understand what you meant. So, all in all, it's something I would look forward to reading more of.

EDIT: Woah when I was reading it, it showed 10 reads. Refreshing it says 325.

[EpikLow]

Re: Black Market Blood

Thanks so much you guys! I really appreciate that you checked it out. If you could email me or say on here, which parts have errors that would be great. I'm going to read it over again right now but I just wanted to say thanks first. When I first wrote this story I got a lot of negative feedback (mostly because of my horrible spelling hahaha which I'm trying to learn to fix)
I'm working on chapter two tonight so I'll let you know when it's up.

epik_low@hotmail.com

[kitkat9]

Re: Black Market Blood

Awesome, a chapter two. I would love to read and critique it. So be sure to let me know when it's finished and online. =)

[tofurox]

Re: Black Market Blood

Can't wait.

[EpikLow]

Re: Black Market Blood

Okay. I've distracted myself too much with other things, but I promise I'll try my best to finish chapter two tomorrow! >.<

[kitkat9]

Re: Black Market Blood

Don't rush! If you rush it will be cheesy and do your best. It will come out when its finished, and completely finished...

[tofurox]

Re: Black Market Blood

To tell you the truth.... I read-whored lol.

[EpikLow]

Re: Black Market Blood

Lolz. Well I have this friday off so I can probably write more during that day sometime. I'm almost done chapter two, but I want to re-write some parts. Kitkat, you're right. I shouldn't rush haha.

[kitkat9]

Re: Black Market Blood

Lol, I know these things. I tried to turn in an essay I did in like, 30 minutes to my English teacher, to say it plainly, she was not impressed. She actually fumed at me, it was rather hilarious if you were to ask me.

[EpikLow]

Re: Black Market Blood

Okay! Finally I'm done chapter two and it's posted. Let me know if it sucks, or if it's actually good. Any feedback would be awesome haha.

[kitkat9]

Re: Black Market Blood

Wow, I'm still loving it. This Darla chick makes me want to punch something lol.

Ok this simile really made no sense to me.
"Of course she didn't want Brandon knowing anything and the annoying way he kept asking questions was now getting on her nerves like the thought of eating Kleenex."

I really never thought eating Kleenex would be annoying. I'm positive that you could find something a little bit better.

This is something easily fixed.
"I'm Darla, but I guess you can't really sake hands right now can you?"-shake

[EpikLow]

Re: Black Market Blood

Thanks! I'm going to fix the sake hands thing up right now, haha and I'm glad you're still liking it. I have no idea why, but when ever I think of chewing Kleenex... omg it's the worst and most annoying thing ever haha, but I can see how not many people would think that so I'll probably change it later.