Please Don't Read This

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  • dAnceguy117
    new hand moves = dab
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Dec 2002
    • 10097

    #1

    Please Don't Read This

    One misty morning, Pete & Greg wandered through the garden, hands entwined lovingly as the sunbeams warmed their backs. “You are my sunshine, sweet Peter,” said Greg, to which Pete replied “Shut the fuck up, Greg.” The two then broke into song and dance, a wide range of interpretive moves that depicted their unsightly, pasty bodies. “Ugh,” Bridget claimed in disgust. “What in the world are you two doing?” “Well, said Greg, “I was just basting Pete in sour cream for the luou.” “Yeah, it’s my first time at one, and I’ve always wanted to watch a spit roast.”

    Peat nervously flattened his skirt. “I’ve never been with a Stunfisk before,” he said coyly. Delighted at the prospect of what an aquatic potato could offer, he spun in a circle, flipping his hair. “I haven’t been this excited since I ended up in that sex shop last summer!” “We should really try out some of the things we bought there.” “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but which one?”

    “I formal Greg,” Pete blurted suddenly. “What?!” Greg cried. “How could you do this to me! I thought we were friends!" “We’ve always been more than friends,” Greg said in an eerily soothing manner as he rotated the spit upon which Pete had been tenderly placed. “Personally, I’ve always seen you as food.” Peat’s bust glowed over the flames of the spit. But the heat was becoming too great… Greg noticed a generous bulge in Peat’s pants. “Isn’t it a little early to be hard claiming?” he smirked. Pete smiled wolfishly, unabashed. “Oh baby, I love it when you go aggro,” he said. And Greg smiled to himself, thinking, “If there’s one guy I’d like to dAnce with, it’d be this guy.” They opened a bottle of wine and cheered to their joyous occasion, without realizing that they were not, in fact, invited.

    Still decked in his tuxedo, Pete wondered what happened to Greg. This was definitely a formal they would all remember. Having thoroughly squeezed the maximal enjoyment from the Hawaiian formal, Greg looked around the room and locked eyes with a wine-soaked Max. She would be next, he thought gleefully. He had always dreamed of being jackhammered from behind by a beautiful stepwoman like Max. He assumed the position. “Come on, Max! Jackhammer me like you were a prepubescent StepMania prodigy.” All of the sudden Greg awoke in a sweat. “Holy… what a nightmare…” “Oh, you’re awake. Finally,” Max said from behind him. Greg screamed…


    This "piece of literature" was written by ohsosilly, PrawnSkunk, smartdude, soramimi, and T-Force while on a flight. They were playing some game. I can't seem to find a name for it if there is one, but it sounds pretty close to this game. How dumb.

    The colors below show where each switch took place. I couldn't tell you who wrote each part, though. You could ask them. But you shouldn't, because you shouldn't be reading this, because you shouldn't have clicked.



    One misty morning, Pete & Greg wandered through the garden, hands entwined lovingly as the sunbeams warmed their backs. “You are my sunshine, sweet Peter,” said Greg, to which Pete replied “Shut the fuck up, Greg.”

    The two then broke into song and dance, a wide range of interpretive moves that depicted their

    unsightly, pasty bodies. “Ugh,” Bridget claimed in disgust. “What in the world are you two doing?”

    “Well, said Greg, “I was just basting Pete in sour cream for the luou.” “Yeah, it’s my first time at one, and I’ve always wanted to watch a spit roast.”

    Peat nervously flattened his skirt. “I’ve never been with a Stunfisk before,” he said coyly.

    Delighted at the prospect of what an aquatic potato could offer, he spun in a circle, flipping his hair. “I haven’t been this excited since I ended up in that sex shop last summer!”

    “We should really try out some of the things we bought there.” “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but which one?”

    “I formal Greg,” Pete blurted suddenly. “What?!” Greg cried. “How could you do this to me! I thought we were friends!”

    “We’ve always been more than friends,” Greg said in an eerily soothing manner as he rotated the spit upon which Pete had been tenderly placed. “Personally, I’ve always seen you as food.”

    Peat’s bust glowed over the flames of the spit. But the heat was becoming too great… Greg noticed a generous bulge in Peat’s pants. “Isn’t it a little early to be hard claiming?” he smirked.

    Pete smiled wolfishly, unabashed. “Oh baby, I love it when you go aggro,” he said. And Greg smiled to himself, thinking, “If there’s one guy I’d like to dAnce with, it’d be this guy.”

    They opened a bottle of wine and cheered to their joyous occasion, without realizing that they were not, in fact, invited.

    Still decked in his tuxedo, Pete wondered what happened to Greg. This was definitely a formal they would all remember.

    Having thoroughly squeezed the maximal enjoyment from the Hawaiian formal, Greg looked around the room and locked eyes with a wine-soaked Max. She would be next, he thought gleefully.

    He had always dreamed of being jackhammered from behind by a beautiful stepwoman like Max. He assumed the position. “Come on, Max! Jackhammer me like you were a prepubescent StepMania prodigy.”

    All of the sudden Greg awoke in a sweat. “Holy… what a nightmare…” “Oh, you’re awake. Finally,” Max said from behind him. Greg screamed…
    Last edited by dAnceguy117; 09-2-2015, 08:17 PM.
  • NeoMasterPie
    Forum User
    • Jul 2007
    • 1405

    #2
    Re: Please Don't Read This

    o.............

    Comment

    • YoshL
      Celestial Harbor
      FFR Simfile Author
      FFR Music Producer
      • Aug 2008
      • 6156

      #3
      Re: Please Don't Read This

      oh my god


      Originally posted by Charu
      Only yours, for an easy price of $19.99! You too can experience the wonders of full motion rump sticking.

      Comment

      • smartdude1212
        2 is poo
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Sep 2005
        • 6687

        #4
        Re: Please Don't Read This

        I'm as green as a townie in those stupid wolf games I don't play.

        Comment

        • T-Force
          Your world ends with you
          FFR Simfile Author
          • Jan 2007
          • 4753

          #5
          Re: Please Don't Read This

          Life is simply unfair... Don't you think?

          Comment

          • TheRapingDragon
            A car crash mind
            • Aug 2005
            • 9788

            #6
            Re: Please Don't Read This

            In hindsight, I wish I had listened to the thread title.

            Comment

            • _Zenith_
              Accuracy Player
              • Mar 2011
              • 4629

              #7
              Re: Please Don't Read This

              Legendary





              Comment

              • Jtehanonymous
                Hunger Games Hunty
                • Jan 2007
                • 3770

                #8
                Re: Please Don't Read This

                A work of art.

                Comment

                • V-Ormix
                  Banned
                  • Aug 2008
                  • 4677

                  #9
                  Re: Please Don't Read This

                  Are you a reverse psychology major

                  Comment

                  • AragakiAyase
                    Waifus
                    • Apr 2015
                    • 961

                    #10
                    Re: Please Don't Read This

                    What the fuck

                    pikakirby123 reincarnated





                    Comment

                    • Deidara837
                      For a New Beginning
                      FFR Simfile Author
                      • Jun 2008
                      • 1751

                      #11
                      Re: Please Don't Read This

                      Gold

                      _9th OT: D2 - 13th Place
                      10th OT: D5 - 45th Place
                      11th OT: D6 - 12th Place

                      EMG Rivalry | EMG Spreadsheet

                      Comment

                      • SC_coolguy44
                        Harmonoize
                        • Sep 2007
                        • 1041

                        #12
                        Re: Please Don't Read This

                        I read it.

                        Comment

                        • Spenner
                          Forum User
                          • Nov 2006
                          • 2403

                          #13
                          Re: Please Don't Read This

                          *clap* great read, it made my heart bleed

                          Comment

                          • botchi246
                            Keepin it Real since '05
                            • Mar 2005
                            • 608

                            #14
                            Re: Please Don't Read This

                            What the hell did i just read LOL
                            That was entertaining

                            Comment

                            • J Mills
                              FFR Player
                              • Sep 2015
                              • 47

                              #15
                              Re: Please Don't Read This

                              Lol lovely read.
                              My FFR TCG Collection! Buy, Sell, Trade!

                              Legend of Dragoon Progress Thread!!!

                              Comment

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